Ok guys, the last two articles that I wrote were to help you not only find quality women but also how to be ready when dating them. Well now it’s July and you should be in full dating swing with plenty of options in your rotation so when fall and nesting season comes around you can pair up with the pick of the litter. Here is the problem; flipping the switch from “dating guy” to “relationship guy” can be a very tricky endeavor that can backfire on you leaving you alone, without options, launching you back to square one if you don’t flip the switch at the perfect time.
First, let me explain the difference between dating guy and relationship guy before I talk about how you flip the switch and the dynamics behind the method.
Dating guy is the guy women are initially attracted to. Dating guy isn’t needy because he has options, dating guy doesn’t share his deepest darkest secrets, and he’s mysterious and is a little aloof. Women want a guy who other women desire. When ladies are dating they don’t want to date a guy that they know they can have, remember women like the chase too, probably more than guys do.
Relationship guy is the guy who is all in. He wants to be exclusive with one woman and in most cases when a man falls for a woman it is because she possesses all the qualities he is seeking in a woman, he’s extremely attracted to her, he enjoys her intellect and sense of humor and he can’t get enough of her. Relationship guy will tell her his deepest secrets; he is available at all times, his desire to chase other women vanishes and his cortisol levels skyrocket and his testosterone plummets.
Here’s the rub. Women who are dating are not attracted to relationship guy; he is too needy and easy, almost creepy to her if she is not ready or doesn’t want to be in a relationship. But when a woman is ready to be exclusive she wants dating guy to go away and she wants relationship guy to show up. This is a problem. Why you say? The answer is a man has no clue when to flip the switch from dating guy to relationship guy. For the most part guys wear their feelings on their sleeves and are pretty straightforward when they’re feeling something. On the flipside if a woman is ready to be exclusive and you still act like dating guy, there will be problems.
What it all boils down to is timing. Most guys by nature want to always remain dating guy because we are more productive in business, more virile, less emotional and basically more stable within ourselves. The monkey wrench gets thrown into our lives when we fall for a woman and the chemistry in our bodies starts to change and we can’t control what we’re feeling and thinking.
Guys you must remember what I am about to tell you and what you just read if you’re 
ready to flip the switch and she’s not. You have to remain dating guy until you are certain she is ready to be with you. Even if you have to force yourself to hold back putting yourself out there prematurely you still must. This will save you in the long run, trust me. I know this sounds like playing games but what can I say, I didn’t write the rules of attraction I just live by them like everyone else. The sad but very real thing about dating and romance is that resistance causes attraction and the more you push someone away the more they are drawn to you. Don’t put yourself in the helpless situation where you go too fast and she pushes you away leaving you desperate, with no options wanting more and more. Bleh!
Here are a few signs a woman is ready to be exclusive with you and she wants to couple up with you.
- She opens herself up sexually. Not just the act but she becomes open about her needs and insecurities.
- She starts to become jealous of other women in your life.
- She is interested in including you in whatever she is doing.
- She wants you to be more involved with her family.
- She starts planning things to do together in the future.
Warning: If you are really into a girl and you don’t see any of these signs do not, I repeat do not flip the switch over to relationship guy no matter how hard it is. If you can keep a level head even when you feel at times you can’t control it, you have to remain dating guy. If you take my advice you have a much better chance of not scaring her off to the next guy who is able to keep her on her toes.
Don’t forget to tune into the Modern Dater show for more dating advice every Saturday evening at 7 p.m. on 630 KHOW or catch the podcast and all of my writing on www.themoderndater.com. I am also very stoked to have put together a weekly happy hour every Wednesday on the patio of Randolph’s Restaurant and bar in the Warwick Hotel. I love happy hour, live reggae, beachside bars and a smoky grill. That’s why I created “Luau on the Terrace” all of the elements of a beachside grill brought to you right here in Denver. See you there!
— Sheik