Every December, in the spirt of the holidays, I rip off a Christmas carol and change up the lyrics and I use my column to write a poem. Last year I wrote “Randolph the Unlucky Dater” to the tune of Rudolph The Red Nose Reindeer and I must say I love that piece, if you haven’t had a chance to read it you can find it on www.themoderndater.com.
This year I was inspired by an old friend and mentor of mine, Glendale Cherry Creek Chronicle columnist Peter Boyles. A month or two ago I was reading one of Peter’s articles titled “My Life Sucks, Part Two,” when I couldn’t help but be touched by his words, mainly because of how well I know him and how enormous this man’s heart is. Essentially Peter wrote about what it is like for him to be old and lonely and how he feels like finding love has passed him by. I truly believe it is never too late for love and that there is someone for everyone. In that spirit, this year I dedicate my Christmas poem to Peter! So without further ado and many apologies to Frosty the Snowman I present to you, “Talker The Old Man.”
Talker the old man, what a very empty soul,
With a microphone and a radio show, and two ex-wives with half his dough.
Talker the old man, is a lonely guy, they say.
He’s really low, ’cause the ladies know he has a limited time to play.
There must be magic left in his heart that he had found,
Finding true love is what he wants, before he’s six feet in the ground.
Oh, Talker, the old man, is alive as he could be;
But the women say I think he’s old and gay,
And he’s not the one for me.
Vroom vroom vroom, vroom vroom vroom, Look at his motorcycle go.
Talker the old man, he knew the sun was out that day,
So he said, “Let’s ride, and we’ll have some fun, all I have is today.”
All through the village, with his throttle in his hand,
Searching here and there, for a woman who’s fair,
Sayin’, “there must be one for this old man.”
He burned rubber down the streets of town, where his back tire popped;
He paused for a moment, when he heard her holler, “Stop!”
For Talker, the old man, had to hurry on his way,
But when he waved goodbye she had a tear in her eye and they fell in love that day!
The moral to this poem is, Peter, everyone, no matter how hard you look for love, love will always find you. The kicker is you never know when it’s going to happen and you always have to be open and ready.
I want to use my column this Christmas as a gift to Peter, to help love find him. Now more than ever I know he’s ready. This column has a great female readership and I know one of you ladies out there would love to have a man like Pete. I’m not too sure how Peter is going to feel about this but I’m going to roll the dice and work my magic and set him up on some holiday dates. If you’re interested shoot me an email at themoderndater@gmail .com with a photo and a few words about yourself and why you think you would be a good match for Pete. Because I know Peter as well as I do, I think I have a good idea of his type of lady. If you fit that type I’ll set up a date. Of course I will write a follow up article that will update you on Peter’s journey to find love.
In other news The Modern Dater date club is shaping up with a great group of single men and women from the Denver area. The club is big enough now that we can all go on some great excursions that I am cooking up. If you want in on The Modern Dater club drop me an email and I’ll give you more information on how you can join in.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! I look forward to talking to you all again next year!
Your Pal,
Santa Sheik