Confessions Of A Serial Dater

Sheik Of Cherry Creek Greg Hollenback

Well it’s that time of year, New Year resolutions are in full swing. People everywhere, single or otherwise will vow to eliminate, add, refine, start or quit something in their lives in hopes of being a better person moving forward. Okay, now think back to the resolution you made last year. What’s that? You don’t even remember what your resolution was, do you? If any of what I just wrote resonated with you, fear not, I am going to give you a new approach this year that will not only help your overall quality of life but it will also improve your viability as a single dater.Hollenback-'Make it so'

Now open your mind and wrap it around what I’m about to tell you. Think about your relationships with people in your family, think about the people you associate with, think about your job, and think about your daily surroundings, i.e., where and how you live. I bring up these external variables in your life for a reason. More often than not when people are looking to make changes in their lives the first place they start is with themselves rather than looking at their surroundings. Don’t get me wrong, trying to improve yourself by eating better, exercising, or kicking a bad habit is never a bad thing but let’s face it, you and I both know you should constantly be working to better your mind and body. It shouldn’t take a New Year to motivate you to be a better you — try this instead.

This year I want you to take a look around you and I want you to make tough decisions regarding who and what should belong in your life. I want you to keep the following list in mind when you are thinking of potential “resolutions” that will improve your life.

Your Family: This year I resolve to improve my family. People always say that their family is the most important aspect in their lives yet their relationships are in shambles. Think about it… how are you supposed to have a healthy, productive, intimate relationship with a significant other if you can’t even get along with the people you are closest with. I want you to look at individual relationships with the people that are closest to you and figure out if those relationships are productive in your life.

I’m not telling you to do whatever it takes to have a relationship with someone in your family at all cost. In fact quite the contrary, what I am asking you to do is figure out what is wrong with any one relationship and then make a choice on whether that tie to them is fulfilling the requirements needed to be productive and healthy in your life. If you decide knowing that person (mom, dad, sister, brother, whoever) is not adding to your life eliminate them, I don’t care if they are family or not. It is very important to your overall mental and physical health to have the close relationships right.

Your Friends: This year I resolve to eliminate the friends in my life who add nothing to my world. Everyone knows their friends and the effect they have on you. Most friends serve a specific purpose. You have your party friends who you raise hell and get hammered with, they linger in your life from the time when you had nothing better to do than party every night. You have your childhood friends who are held close to your vest no matter what, mostly for reasons of nostalgia. You have your loser friends who every time you hear from them there is a problem. You know these friends, they are high drama, their life is usually in shambles and every time you’re around them there is a crisis and their drama is off the charts.

Of course there are many other types of friends in your life and even some that add to you. That’s the point, just like your relationships with your family you need to address your friends and figure out who is enhancing your life in a positive way and get rid of all others. The people you choose to have around you are a huge variable when it comes to your progress in your life and opportunities they can bestow upon you. If you hang with losers there is a good chance you are one.

Your Surroundings: This year I resolve to tighten up my surroundings. No matter what is happening in my life I always feel better when where I live is in order. Having chaos in your home translates into all aspects of your life. Get your household in order and do the things necessary to ensure you’re comfortable in your downtime. Let’s face it, there are very few things in life that you have complete control over but the environment that you choose to create around you is all you. You are in charge of how you live and how you choose to live there within. Keep things tidy and fresh around your home and you just might find it easier to deal with the rest of this upside down world.

I was told by someone once that whoever you spend New Year’s Eve with will be in your life the rest of the year and I’ve found this to be accurate. With that said, maybe this year you can resolve to simply be around quality people who add to your life. Get rid of the energy leeches in your life and raise your standards and watch your dating viability increase. If you want to find someone great to be with this year start by doing these few things and remember water finds its own level and people do too.

The Modern Dater date club is filling up and the first group of dating excursions hosted by me is going to start happening this month. If you have any interest in how you can be a part of this exclusive dating club just drop me a line at themoderndat er@gmail.com.

Happy New Year!

Your Pal, Sheik

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