Hollenback Abused 8-16“For the record I don’t date any women under the age of 18,” I said that jokingly after she dropped the “you sound like a pedophile” comment on me after I said, “I feel like I raised three or four women in their late 20s and early 30s when I was in a relationship with them.”

If you have no idea what I’m talking about right now you should catch up by reading Part 1 of “I Keep Getting Older and the Girls Keep Getting Younger,” which can be found on the GCCC website, www. glendalecherrycreek.com. For those of you caught up let me continue with Part 2.

So there we are, the tension in my condo was so thick you could have cut it with a knife. Truthfully I didn’t know what to do. Should I calmly explain why I said, “I feel like I raised three or four women in their late 20s and early 30s when I was in a relationship with them?” Should I try to lighten up the conversation and make a last- ditch effort to try and salvage what was left of an already horrible date? Or should I just simply boot her rude loose-lipped mouth out of my home?

Before I tell you what option I chose I want to cover a couple of things. First, I was talking to a friend about this date days later and told him how she called me a pedophile after I explained why I generally date women younger than myself. My friend’s response to the interaction that my date and I had was something like this. “Even if she truly felt that way regarding your preference in the age of the women you date why wouldn’t she just say, this date isn’t working for me and excuse herself, rather than resort to name calling?” I mean after all, she and I don’t know each other well enough to vomit out rude, name-calling comments.

I happen to agree with my friend. If you are at the point on a first date to where you feel you need to be verbally abusive to the other person you should probably just move on and save your bad mouthing breath for someone who has to put up with your rudeness.

Now let me explain why I said, “I feel like I raised three or four women in their late 20s and early 30s when I was in a relationship with them.” Side note: I would have been happy to offer her the following explanation on our date if she hadn’t insulted my with the pedophile comment which ended up being a conversation killer. We can debate this all day long if you want but I believe nature has shown a pattern where men enjoy the company of younger women and women enjoy the company of men older than themselves. If you don’t know this dynamic, ask somebody.

With that said there are some obvious generational gaps and life experiences that the younger woman has not gone through yet. In my experience when I have been in relationships with women younger than myself I can’t help but offer my thoughts and advice when I see her going through something I have already experienced. This is a tricky one because I firmly believe people need to make their own mistakes in life but it’s hard to stand by tight lipped and idle when the decisions they make can affect your life because your lives are attached by being in a relationship.

Personally I can’t stop myself when it comes to trying to help someone avoid disaster if I can help it. Unfortunately by doing so the relationship dynamic turns into more of a parenting feel. Which brings us full circle back to the comment I made, “I feel like I raised three or four women in their late 20s and early 30s when I was in a relationship with them.” I may be crazy but I think that statement is a completely reasonable summary of my experiences looking back at a few of the relationships I’ve been in with women younger than I.

Now let me tell you about the end of the date from hell. I felt trapped in my condo and I wanted her to leave but being the gentleman that I am I continued to try and make the best of it. The problem is she didn’t want the same. I had the feeling from her continued name calling and belligerent attitude that she was enjoying the opportunity to have me cornered and seemingly hammer me with the frustration with what I can only guess are her issues with men. Luckily I have to wake up early to do morning radio so I tried to wind this nightmare down and used the excuse of needing to go to bed in order to pull the plug on this miserable evening.

What did I learn from this date? Well let me tell you…

  1. No first dates at your home!
  2. Keep the conversation light. No past relationship talk, don’t talk about religion or politics and most importantly never, never ever ever ever, never ever call a stranger names. If you start to feel you want to, be the bigger person and excuse yourself.
  3. Finally, keep it classy. Not every date is going to be a home run. But how you conduct yourself will follow you from date to date. If one date sours you, don’t bring it to your next date. Stay even.

That’s it for this month. I hope my telling this date story will spark a real conversation in your life with someone. If you have a comment about any of this month’s article I encourage you to send them to the Chronicle. Who knows, they may publish it. Until next month, date with class.

Your pal, Sheik

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