Has anybody here seen my old friend Cory Gardner? Can you
tell me where he’s gone? I thought I saw him walking up over the hill with Bob
Beauprez, Walker Stapleton and Bill Owens.
It’s been brought to my attention by many callers, text
messengers, emailers and supervisors at 710 KNUS radio that I am being
perceived as very anti-Republican Party and Senator Cory Gardner.
I plead guilty to all. But how, may I ask you, in God’s good
name can you support that organization or that individual? The Republican Party
or Cory Gardner. The last time any Republican won a statewide election is when
Cory Gardner beat former Senator Mark Udall. That was the equivalent of
stepping on baby chicks. He beat Mark Udall. Wow, there’s an upset. He sure
showed him.
Now arriving on the greyhound bus from Iowa, John
Hickenlooper after leaving some poor stooge’s porch in Des Moines. That’s
right, the man who doesn’t want to be senator but will be, John Hickenlooper. I
feel like Mick in that first great Rocky movie. I’m gonna teach Cory Gardner
how to fight.
So, Cory pay attention.
The first thing you have to do is to take your political
party, Trump it up, put some teeth in it, get away from every country club up
and down the front range, get out of the Beemer, Mercedes, or whatever else you
drive. Get yourself a nice Chevy Blazer, get you some cowboy boots with lifts
in them and learn how to punch. Walk tall Cory. Start going to Custer County,
Larimer County, Las Animas County and tell those folks out there you oppose red
flag. Tell them you don’t like that sex ed thing where a third grader is taught
how to put a trojan on a banana. You don’t want anyone getting free needles and
getting heroin injection sites by their First Baptist Church.
You’re more than willing to drink that fracking fluid.
Popular vote arrives from Satan. Dismissing our right to be counted in a
national election is Jared Polis destroying the popular vote and is a tool of
one of Satan’s imps. Oh, and a better one Cory boy is John Hickenlooper on
ending homelessness. The great leap forward, glorious people end homelessness
which is continued now by the illegitimate son of Wellington Webb, Michael
Hancock. So, Cory, this ain’t that tough. I bet you never took your mom to a
porno flick. Make a point of that.
How many of your close friends and donors were on the
Players and Sugars list and scandal. Put a little Trump in your spine.
Sanctuary city. For God’s sake Cory the whole state’s getting overrun and Hick
gave them drivers’ licenses. Please quit talking about China trade wars, it’s
meaningless. You’re not getting any help from the Bush family and the U.S.
Chamber of Commerce, are you?
Just to put a little bit of icing on this. I have personally
done four fundraisers for Jack Phillips at the Masterpiece Cake Shop. I have
never seen you or any other elected Republican stop by and put $20 in the hat.
That’s a disgrace not only to you but the party you claim to be part of. Big
question State Republican Party and Cory Gardner? How do you really expect this
to end?
Right now pal, I got Hickenlooper and a lot of points.
You’re going into the championship rounds and you’re way behind on points. Call
me if you need any help. Contact me at 710 KNUS. I’ll be glad to become your
trainer and get you back your man card. If not, good luck with that next job
working for Norm Brownstein. So I can tell you where Cory’s gone, he’s gone
into another one term Republican never-was-er.
I think most people in our vast reading audience remember
the great television show that aired in the middle of the 1970s titled Welcome
Back Kotter starring Gabe Kaplan as the school teacher who grew up in the
neighborhood and is now in charge of a very ethnic and racially diverse class
called the “Sweathogs.” His dream was his ticket out.
As we have talked about many times Hickenlooper, who would
probably go back for seconds at the Last Supper, finds himself in no man’s land
and after two years of throwing rocks at what senators do for a living,
including disparaging remarks that he is a leader and a doer, (and I don’t know
if that’s the scotch or he actually believes he got things done) now wants to
be dragged kicking and screaming to be the next senator where we all stand a
mile high, Colorado.
But the “Sweathog” theme really does intrigue me. We could
have Andrew Romanoff playing Arnold Horshack. Bill Ritter as Juan Epstein. Jena
Griswold as Rosalie (Hotsy Totsy) and, last but not least, Michael Hancock as
Freddy Boom Boom Washington.
So, putting on my futurist cap, how does this dope out? The
nonexistent Democrat senatorial field will fold like a house of cards and John
Hickenlooper, the man who never wanted to be a senator will become our next
senator. Why you query? Because as we have said many times, many ways, the
state of Colorado’s Republican party will guarantee a Hickenlooper win. We have
a series of huge political issues that inflame conservative and libertarian
minds in Colorado.
• Red flag. I
don’t know what the count is on counties and sheriffs, city councils and
commissioners who have flatly told Jared Polis don’t bring it here because we
won’t enforce it.
• Popular
vote. They threw our constitutional rights out the window this year as well.
• Fracking.
The known economic destruction of northern Colorado.
• And last
but not least, my personal favorite, attorney general Phil, aka Bud Weiser, has
become a friend of the court who will attempt to bring back heroin, meth, and
cocaine injection sites into the state of Colorado after it was tossed out.
These people are like monsters in Steven King novels — they never die.
But look at those issues that I’ve stated. Have you seen
Cory Gardner go into the hinterland and rally people to his cause that he will
take these issues on? Of course not. What is it that Cory Gardner needs to do?
He needs to get his man card back. He needs to go to training camp. He needs a
lot of roadwork. He maybe learns how to dirty box. Maybe some UFC MMA takedowns
that he can use on Hickenlooper. But you and I both know that he has no
intention of doing any of those things. Hickenlooper by his own description is
a bad debater. Throwing his arms up like a wild bird at Cory like he did to
Bernie Sanders just ain’t going to cut it.
But here’s the real indicator about the weak sticks in the
media. My former coworker Dan Caplis made Hickenlooper tap out on his radio
show about a month ago. I mean choke, turn blue in the face and squeal like a
pig and then get to walk away. Isn’t it fascinating The Denver Post,
hard-hitting Channel9 never said a word. Note to Cory Gardner, Dude unless you
start to tune up, you’re beat.
Note to John, I’m not cut out to be a senator, Hickenlooper
[February 2019]. Along with senators don’t build teams. Senators sit and debate
in small groups. I’m a doer and that gives me joy. Hey, John I’ve got your joy
for you right here. Get ready folks. It’s gonna be a rough night.
Over the 45 years of my actually being able to do morning
radio, afternoon or evening radio, and occasionally all night radio in Denver,
Colorado, I’ve had the incredible experiences of people getting up and walking
out of the studio when they were scheduled guests.
One of the first was Abbie Hoffman; remember “Steal This
Book” Abbie? On trial in Chicago, they ran Pigasus the pig for president. He
took a hike out of the KHOW studio because, even though it’s unimaginable that
you could offend Abbie Hoffman, I accomplished that. The next one was President
hopeful Marianne Williamson, arguably the smartest person to appear in two
nights of that great Dem coffee klatch. She also took a hike. Then Sydney
Biddle Barrows, the Mayflower Madam, closed her book and walked off when I
asked her the difference between what she did for a living and a pimp. She
caught a case of the shark jaws and with a sniff said, “I never,” and headed
for the exit.
Shining moments all. But the one that was the most laugh out
loud obvious, I was working at Brand X, aka KHOW radio and I had a couple of
prairie dog saviors come into the studio. “Welcome to my parlor,” said the
spider to the fly. And I asked these two little cello shaped activists how they
felt about abortion because they were trying to stop the deaths of these
prairie rats. They also pulled a hot foot and left in a huff.
So, using all of those experiences I thought to myself why
don’t we make a bunch of prairie dog costumes and put them on the Wash Park
geese? You see where this is headed.
The City of Denver and the feds swooped down in an illegal
raid and confronted these honkers who were molting, lacked any ID cards or
papers and forced them into big plastic pens to be crated and carted off to
some very questionable locations.
Does this whole scenario sound familiar? I’m told people saw
geese drinking out of toilets.
That one goose being delivered on the flatbed truck was me
when I was a little boy. And now the only reason the Denver media can look the
other way is we’re being told these geese will become dinner for “some hungry
families.”
Now as I’ve said many times, my parents raised many ugly
children but not a lot of dumb ones. Does anyone think for a minute that people
were going be delivering cooked geese to welfare recipients, homeless junkies
or, for that matter, anywhere? Just think of how much it costs to swoop down on
geese in an early morning raid, round them up into pens, put corn oil on the
eggs, another form of abortion, put these geese in crates and then ship them
off in trucks to gander heaven to be processed and cooked and kept USDA
approved until they are delivered to John Hickenlooper and Michael Hancock’s
road home? I’ll bet there ain’t no minimum wage employees, including the
government workers, touching one of these birds once.
How much do you think it costs from start to finish to
process one of these quackers? If you look at the curtain that Julie Hayden is
pointing to, you’ll see a magical figure. I’m guessing three hundred bucks a
goose. Any takers?
Anybody think between now and Thanksgiving you’re going to
meet anyone who actually ate a goose? At that moment I’ll throw open the window
and say, “What day is this little boy?” and he’ll say, “It’s Christmas.”
This is another thing we’ve learned to watch in Denver.
Wasn’t the media great? Weren’t the elected officials wonderful? What about the
people who gathered in the park to mourn the geese? The woman who said she
actually knew two of those geese personally? How can you tell the damn things
apart?
You gotta love the city we live in. Its press corps, the
elected officials and the federal government came in like a SEAL team raid to
get a bunch of geese and the most frightening thing of all, mother nature hates
a vacuum. There will be geese up the wazoo next year at this time.
See you same bat time same bat channel tomorrow.
— Peter Boyles
P.S.: If I caught a fish in Wash Park lake or City Park lake
would you eat it? Come on. Things are bad enough for the homeless, we don’t
need to start this.
Denver, Colorado, has been taught a great politically
correct witch hunt lesson. All of the above, and many more who we will speak
about in this column, took a nice, 41-year-old white woman from a farm in Iowa,
who probably never even muttered any words or terms that could be construed by
the witch hunters on the left to be remotely racist, homophobic, Islamophobic,
or anti-global warming; who also, I believe, does not like Donald Trump; and
these bastards were able to turn her, with the help of the Denver media, into
David Duke.
You folks all remember David Duke? Remember when he ran
against Edwin Edwards to be the governor of Louisiana, and the bumper stickers
said vote for the crook because David Duke was such a horrible human.
Did you get the opportunity to witness the Hancock
celebration party at Hancock election headquarters when the numbers came in
early that he had taken this very decent woman and beaten her into the ground?
Walking next to him, the one and only, former Governor Bill Ritter; cheering
him on, former Mayor and presidential hopeful, Governor John Hickenlooper; the
true master of the City, Wellington Webb; and, of course, the crown prince himself,
Michael Hancock, doing the victory dance. (Conspicuously absent from the
victory party was current Governor Jared Polis who did not endorse or do any
fundraising for Hancock.)
To the man, these are philanderers. To the man, they
understand the power and money in Denver. To the man, they knew they were
taking this decent woman and turning her into George Wallace or the
granddaughter of Lester Maddox.
Have the television outlets no shame as they covered and
interviewed a cheerful Michael Hancock?
I can’t tell you how many times my sainted father would say
to me and my brothers, “What the hell’s wrong with you?” To the City of Denver,
in the words of my father, what the hell’s wrong with you?
This woman made some amateur mistakes, like not knowing what
the initials of the NAACP meant, and taking the picture of an Asian man after
they did a deep dumpster dive, and discovered she made some remark about
Chinatown on social media that they lifted and implied it was some sort of
racist anti-Asian remark. Maybe someone could ask the Brownstein Law Firm about
that.
I’m told when she made the runoff her total war chest was
$700 thousand and change. I’m also told, by reliable sources, that the minute
it was announced, Hancock raised that amount of money and added it to his $2.7
million war chest.
As an amateur reader of history, it’s been noted that any
time a candidate starts with negative advertising he or she is behind. Hancock
came out of the box after promising Jamie Giellis they would not go negative.
He went on the negative offensive turning her into a modern day KKK Night
Rider.
That was despicable and we may never see the internal
polling data, but you can bet your ass they knew he was in trouble.
There’s some smarmy character on the payroll and in the
words of Al Davis, “Just win baby,” and they did. It’s sad that this cabal of
wealthy men took this fine woman and dashed her on the rocks of hate. They
brought in Hillary Clinton to endorse Michael Hancock. I suspect they did
because Michael must remind her of her husband Bill. Keep an eye on this one
folks. The only good news is that a Marxist beat Albus Brooks. Watch the skies.
As this award-winning newspaper rolls into summer, and
because of so much appreciation and feedback we’ve gotten at the newspaper and
award-winning radio show about how much you folks love my support of
conservative causes and the rocks I’ve thrown at Front Range progressives, I
thought I’d like to leave you with a series of thoughts that I know many of you
will not only embrace but will carefully cut this column out and put on your
refrigerators.
Peter Boyles
Number one: James Comey answered “I don’t know, I don’t
recall and I don’t remember” 236 times while under oath. But remembers enough
to write a book.
If women are so upset at Donald Trump’s naughty words, who
the hell bought 80 million copies of Fifty Shades Of Grey?
Every woman has the right to be believed … unless you were
raped by Bill Clinton, beaten by Keith Ellison, groped by Cory Booker or killed
by Ted Kennedy.
Chelsea Clinton got out of college, got a job at NBC that
paid $900,000 dollars a year, yet her mom flies around the country in private
jets speaking out about white privilege.
My favorite, because we have been working so much about this
story on radio, the progressives don’t want unvaccinated kids in our schools
but the same progressives let thousands of unvaccinated illegal immigrants in
who then join Muffy and Buffy in the classroom.
Progressives say you can’t give a lethal injection to a
rapist, murderer, a pedophile or a school shooter. But you can give a lethal
injection to an infant.
Pennsylvania officials, my home state, have admitted to
finding 11,198 non-citizens registered in the state rolls of PA.
They sent more troops to arrest Roger Stone than they sent
to defend the Benghazi consulate.
Sixty years ago, Venezuela was fourth on the world’s
economic freedom index. Today they are 179th and their citizens are dying of
starvation and eating zoo animals. In only 10 years Venezuela was destroyed by,
you got it, Bernie socialism.
Another one of my personal favorites, apparently the
Russians donated $0.00 to the Trump campaign, however, it appears the Russians
donated over $150-million to the Clinton Foundation, but Trump was the one
investigated for Russian ties.
Have we reached the point of no return? Seemingly people
support abortion over life, illegals over its own citizens, refugees over
veterans, and then lecture me about the morals of my radio show.
Two more things to think about as summer looms. How do you
march 3,000 miles across Mexico without food, support or water and show up at
our border 100 pounds overweight with a cellphone?
Bill Clinton paid $850,000 to Paula Jones to get her to go
away. I don’t remember the FBI raiding his office.
I leave you with the kicker. The same media that told me
Hillary had a 95% chance of winning now tells me Trump has low approval
ratings.
Have a great summer. Keep those cards and letters coming.
