April Fools Question
What do Jeb Bush, Hillary Clinton, George W. Bush, Barack Obama, John Hickenlooper and Lamar Alexander all have in common?
There’s gotta be at least a million answers to that question and counting. Of course the immediate reaction is “they’re all idiots,” and one way or another have managed to screw up your life. And, although it’s hard to believe, they can possibly screw it up even further by using Common Core as their educational guide.
Let me put you in a very brief time machine. Former Florida Governor Jeb (known as the smartest of the Bush brothers) may be eyeing a run for president in 2016 on the GOP bandwagon. On Friday, March 22, 2014, the big doofus made a speech in Florida, that revealed some of his stances on issues like immigration and — remember these words cause you’re going to hear them a lot — Common Core. Jeb (who’s starting to look more and more like Cousin Eddie) said those who oppose Common Core are supporting the status quo. And he wants to know how American society is going to be the winner in the 21st century. My real question for the 21st century is how are you gonna stop Jeb, his brother’s political party and the Democrats from eating everyone’s lunch?
And as an aside, Jeb says people who come here illegally are “risk takers.” With this logic if you’re living in rural Guatemala and you come here, you’re a bigger risk taker than those who are already here.
That kind of logic obviously produces a formidable candidate for the 2016 elections, according to the brilliant thinking of the GOP. This is just a reminder but he is the brother of former President George W. Bush, and the son of the other former president George H.W Bush, and older brother of Neil. All you folks in Colorado remember Neil. If Neil lost four more IQ points you’d have to water him once a week.
The Jebster then went to Nashville to join Tennessee GOP Governor Bill Haslam and former Secretary of Education currently GOP Senator from Tennessee Lamar Alexander. He quipped, “Trust me, I know there’s not a whole lot of people who are standing up to the avalanche of criticism.” Tennessee, along with Colorado and the vast majority of states, has adopted the standards developed for the National Governors Association and the Council of Chief State School Officers by so called education experts.
Currently U.S. Education Secretary Arne, the Carney, Duncan is promising to improve education by pushing for the implementation of Common Core standards. This year 45 states and the District of Columbia have adopted those standards. Carney doesn’t seem to care much for people who criticize Common Core. He has insisted that it’s all a bunch of white suburban moms who all of a sudden realized their child isn’t as brilliant as they thought and their schools aren’t quite as good as they thought they were. As you can plainly see this is the attack on soccer moms taking that hackneyed phrase “angry white men” and now applying it to white suburban mothers — gawd these people are becoming ever so predictable.
Now remember I can’t seem to do math or marriage but on everything I hold sacred this is a question that’s on that part of the Common Core curriculum. I think this used to be called word problems and as a youngster I would automatically tune out of any question that began with “two trains go out of a station…which one…” and then I go blank.
Here’s the question.
“Juanita wants to give bags of stickers to her friends. She wants to give the same number of stickers to each friend. She’s not sure if she needs four bags or six bags of stickers . How many stickers could she buy so there’s not stickers left over.” I kid thee not. Apparently there are any number of answers to this question.
This question appears in the Houghton Mifflin Harcourt textbook on Common Core. On their website they promise to be “a partner who will share the responsibilities of Common Core.”
I find myself always returning to George Orwell and those of you who recall the ending of his novel 1984 when Winston Smith learns to love Big Brother. It’s done with math. When he leaves the Ministry of Love not only does he know that two and two are five, he believes it.
Also they are teaching fourth graders, i.e. nine year olds, how to put on condoms. And this one is my favorite. Teaching kids how to masturbate. Don’t you find that interesting? No one needed to teach me.
But in my vast reading so far I found nothing in Common Core to explain why the framers beat feet from mad King George, how the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence protect our God given rights. And Mark Twain doesn’t exist.
By the way, John Hickenlooper and The Denver Post roundly support Common Core.
I can hardly wait for the debate when Bob Beauprez has no idea what Common Core is and John Hickenlooper roughshods him.
The serious part of this is this process will bypass parents and state and local school boards.
Obama wants to fundamentally transform America by transforming education and what your kids and grandkids will learn or not learn. Of course the progressives will love this.
By the way, did anybody ever read Huckleberry Finn or Tom Sawyer in a school library? Today it’s the equivalent of finding Barack Obama’s real birth certificate. See you on the radio.
— Peter