by Mark Smiley | Feb 26, 2015 | Feature Story Bottom Left
Last month I wrote about how to recognize if you are dating someone or in a relationship that you are forcing in order to make it work. I received a lot of response from people who said that article hit home with them and it made many of you think about your current situations. The first step to finding wellness in your life is actually identifying that there is a problem. The next step is figuring out how to eliminate whatever is adversely affecting you, in this case, who you’re dating or in a relationship with. The key is to do it in a productive manner that won’t put you in a hole deeper than you’re already in.
This month’s column is about the dreaded breakup or taking out the trash, if you will. Some of you may think using the term “taking out the trash” may be a bit harsh when it comes to severing ties with someone but, of course, I disagree. First, what is trash? Well, good ol’ dictionary.com defines trash as anything useless, worthless or rubbish. I don’t know about you but if you’ve come to the realization that the person you are choosing to be with is no longer contributing to your life in a productive manner and he/she is stunting your growth and health then indeed they are useless, worthless or rubbish to you and you need to take out the trash.
Sometimes it takes years to figure out if something or someone is trash in your life. Denial is a huge factor when it comes to identifying trash. Because remember, one man’s trash is another man’s treasure. Sometimes trash is obvious and you know to throw it away immediately because it’s rotten or it stinks. Other times trash is a lot less obvious; you know what I’m talking about because we all have a tendency to hold on to things “just in case.”
“I’m not going to throw away these 20 pair of old holey socks because I may need them someday,” when we know good and well they are just taking up room in the sock drawer and they will continue to until something is done about it. How about all that “stuff” stacking up in the basement or garage that you “need” when you know good and well it’s just glorified trash cluttering your home. Sometimes the hardest trash to throw out are the items that have been around for a while and have grown to be sentimental to you even though those things do nothing for your life in the present, nor will they in the future.
The same analogy goes for people. The obvious people who are rotten and stink up your life are fairly easy to rid yourself of, mostly because you’ve made up your mind that there is no room in your life for them. But what about the people you’re dating or in a relationship with who you have an emotional tie with or you see redeeming qualities in them but you know they’re not good for you? Should all trash be discarded equally or should more consideration be put into ending your connection with someone you want the best for? I say yes, yes, you should put more thoughtful effort into breaking up with someone whose only fault is living their life in a way that is not conducive to how you want to live yours.
We humans get so caught up in the blame game and projecting on to others how we would live our lives in hope the person that we’re with will start to see things our way. If you are, stop pointing fingers and attacking someone’s character because you want a reason to justify a breakup. Don’t try blowing things up and make it personal so anger can be your excuse to hang your hat on as to why things aren’t working. Here are a few different ways to look at, or phrase things when you’re trying to navigate the waters of a breakup and not sink your own ship, or theirs, while doing so.
- Rather than saying, “you will never get how I feel!,” understand they are not you, and they may never think like you, and that’s ok. Try saying this instead, “I understand we think differently, but instead of forcing how I think, or what I would do in a situation with you, I have decided it’s best for us to understand that we are both different and we need to be with more like minded individuals.”
- Rather than saying something personal or hurtful like, “you’re a bum and you will never amount to anything” try this; “You may be working hard according to your standards but I am at the point in my life where our work ethic is different and rather than me being upset with you about it I think it’s best I let you go, so we can both strive at our own pace.”
- Rather than saying, “I am tired of you lying about everything,” try saying, “It’s unfortunate that we are at the point in our relationship where we have to be dishonest with each other because it’s become easier to just lie rather than tell the truth, and I want you to be with someone who you feel comfortable expressing yourself to.”
I could keep going but I think you get the point. A breakup doesn’t have to be an undressing of another person’s actions or character. A breakup should be two people who care about the other person’s needs and plight in life. Just because being with someone isn’t working for you, that doesn’t mean that they won’t be perfectly compatible with someone else. All I want you to keep in mind is we are all people just trying to find our way in this world and not everyone is going to be right for you. Lead with your heart, stay true to what’s important to you, and most of all keep it classy.
A big thanks to all of you who have contacted me expressing interest in The Modern Dater Date Club that I am assembling for my readers. This is an exclusive dating club for serious daters who are tired of meeting flakes who are not serious about finding a true connection. As we speak I am planning group excursions for like-minded singles to get together in a no pressure environment that is conducive to having fun, being safe and enjoying the company of quality people. If you would like to find out more about the dating club you can contact me personally at themoderndater@gmail.com. And if you own a fun date-friendly business or restaurant and would like to be a part of the fun I encourage you to contact me as well.
Until next month, Sheik
by Mark Smiley | Feb 26, 2015 | Feature Story Middle Left
I committed to Mrs. App and our CPA to have our financial documents ready before April 15. I’ll share a secret. I absolutely loathe gathering our financial information each year. I maintain meticulous records with financial software, however the corresponding documentation is a mess. There’s one weekend a year that my office looks as though I left a window open on a windy day and blew a stack of paper across my office. We’ll need to alert a search party if anyone ventures into my office. Come on. I’m not the only one. Right? I say the same thing when I start to compile my tax records each year as I do on each January 1, “This is THE year!” Well, maybe 2016 will be the year. So far, 2015 has been better than last in regard to document organization. It has been better because I deployed a few tools.
Mrs. App always asks what takes so long to finish taxes. Candidly, estimating and completing the taxes is not the hard, time consuming part. I find that looking for supporting documentation is the biggest time consumption. Business mileage is always a fun exercise. It feels as though I’m playing Where’s Waldo while looking for a brightly colored post-it note with my mileage from January 1, 2014. Or worse, I track down my oil change receipts to estimate my January 1 mileage. This year, I used MileIQ (MileBug for Android or Windows) to track mileage. There isn’t a need to turn it on or off. It runs in the background. Enter the taxable rate and it’ll generate the necessary reports for your tax return. It’ll report on the meeting details, as well.
My uncle, a CPA, handles our taxes. I don’t pay him enough for us to be his client. He says that at least once a year, he’ll have a client come into his office with a shoebox of receipts. And I thought, who keeps shoeboxes? There’s a business for everything nowadays! Shoeboxed is a fee-based service that will organize documents, receipts and process into a cloud storage application, such as Evernote. For free, an iPhone app called OneReceipt can provide a similar service as Shoeboxed. I am a OneNote believer. If you are a PC (not Mac) user, most likely you have OneNote on your PC. Using the OneDrive (Microsoft’s cloud storage), OneNote can be viewed and accessed from your device or PC. I scan invoices, medical statements, and receipts into OneNote. Rather than finger through a file cabinet, I’ll search for the scanned image from my phone. This has made tax prep more organized and less time consuming. Think of OneNote as a large writing pad or journal. Create sections, just as you would in a journal, and then add documents to pages. For example, I have a section named Taxes – Auto. Within the pages of this section, I have scanned receipts for gas, oil changes, plate registration and maintenance. Rather than search through a physical folder, I have the documents in hand or on my PC.
We love deductions, right? Easily track deductions with a few tools: ItsDeductible, iDonatedIt and deductr. ItsDeductible and iDonatedIt track non-cash deductions (i.e. Goodwill), while deductr is a fee-based app with a larger offering. It’ll track mileage, expenses and time management. If you’re looking for free tax assistance, check out IRS2Go. After talking about taxes, we should start a Have You Hugged a CPA Today? Day.
Speaking of office messes, it’s entirely possible the tiny USB plug in for my wireless mouse is lost in the abyss, or maybe Baby App ate it. OK, don’t fret, Baby App is safe. He didn’t eat it. I did lose the plug-in, though. I’ve never been a fan of the keyboard mouse pad so I use Remote Mouse, which turns your phone into a mouse. The app needs to run on the laptop and mouse, as well as both devices need to be on the same wifi network. The mouse app is extremely smooth and easy to use. I’ll eventually find the USB plug-in.
For the LinkedIn users, try LinkedIn Connected. Each morning, the app sends an alert with that day’s updates, such as your contacts’ work anniversaries, birthdays and new jobs. This is a great way to view updates in a timely manner as you build and engage with your LinkedIn network.
Do you have a teenager at home? I would ask if you are a teenager, however I’m not certain a teenager knows what a newspaper is. The Glendale Sports Center at Infinity Park managed by the YMCA is hosting a Teen Entrepreneur Program. The program starts April 7 and runs for five consecutive Tuesday evenings. The two hour sessions will be taught by an entrepreneur that specializes in teaching teens how to create a business. At the conclusion of the program, the teens will present their businesses to a “Shark Tank” on May 21.
The cost of the program is $75. We’re looking for teens to be part of the program. Teens can sign up here: http://goo.gl/ c5ScFa. Unable to afford the $75? Please contact me at the email below to learn about available grants. We’re looking for local businesses to sponsor a teen (or two). Please contact me via email below. This is an amazing opportunity to give our local teens the knowledge they need to start their careers. Technology businesses have been a common theme according to the program instructor. What business will you create?
Do you have a favorite app you’d like to share? Contact Brian at brian@brianzabro ski.com, on Twitter @BrianZab or LinkedIn at www.linkedin.com/in/brianzab.
Brian, a Corporate Account Executive with NetSuite, has spent nearly 20 years in the telecommunications and software industry. Businesses often have the same concerns: How do I increase my revenue and profit? How do I attract great talent? Am I easy to do business with? Is it simple to access my business information? If you’re a business that would like to learn how Box, GoPro, Groupon and FitBit have used NetSuite to answer these questions, then please contact Brian.
by Peter Boyles | Feb 26, 2015 | Blasting with Boyles
I was shocked and appalled to read the letters to the editor following my January column on Sand Creek in this newspaper.
One reader told me I was much better as a drunk. Dude, it’s been 30 years since I had a drink. Another letter writer declared that the next issue of this ‘“rag’” will go directly from his mail box to the dumpster because of my column. Finally, a learned physician wrote that ISIL would applaud my reasoning and compassion. The point I was trying to make was political correctness and the John Hickenlooper apology tour only goes so far.
The attacks came under the auspices of political correctness. Let’s review a little history.
One of my favorite Bolsheviks is the young Trotsky who invented the term “politically correct’’as in all good Bolsheviks must be politically correct in the thoughts of Lenin. Note to letter writers, Trotsky, get it? Let’s further romp through history where all the good little Germans had to be politically correct in the thoughts of the Fuhrer and lest we forget the great Helmsman, the Little Red Book shakers. You kids all remember the Red Guard, everybody was lockstep in their thinking.
We have seen this performance before in history where no one dares to speak out. We all must think in the same manner and we all must be politically correct.
Today, political correctness is destroying big media, corporate America and the lives of a number of politicians.
Not to mention Common Core and what all your kids and grandkids are learning in school.
If you notice, the letter writers never said one thing about what I wrote but only that I was a drunk and a trash heap and a member of ISIL.
I did however get a couple of letters from pretty good historians who told me to keep up the good work.
When the left can control the language, as Orwell teaches us with Big Brother, false accusations can be made and charges rendered. We can now expect to have nursery rhymes, instead of ‘“Baa Baa Black Sheep,’’ changed to “Baa Baa Rainbow Sheep.” Remember there’s no such thing as black coffee now.
We have seen many things come your way including “global warming.” Now, when I speak against “global warming” I am called a denier, interestingly enough a term that was applied to people in the Neo-Nazi movement who said the Holocaust never happened. Starting to get the picture?
Cultural sensitivity and political correctness are wrecking this country. I’ve spent almost seven years and a number of these columns questioning who is Barack Obama. As you know, everything historians called bona fides, from a manufactured birth certificate to his college entrance papers, high school papers, social security and draft card numbers have been suppressed.
When I raised that specter (thank you Karl Marx) I’m immediately called a racist, a bigot and a hate speaker. Those are all politically correct charges but not one person supplies the bona fides. Are you getting now how the game gets played?
We are headed toward speech codes, state approved churches and temples and Internet that passes state muster and career ending truthful statements.
So really what is the purpose of political correctness in our society today? One of my favorite people, Pat Buchanan, charges political correctness is cultural Marxism. I can’t argue with that.
We now face a modern inquisition. And punish people who are not politically correct in the thoughts of the progressive left.
To all of you, you better stand to. Dietrich Bonhoeffer was right, they will come for you.
So I’d like to thank you on the behalf of the ‘“old drunk’” and dumpster diver and member of ISIL. You people scare the hell out of me. The time will come, as John Gotti said headed to the penitentiary, you’re gonna wish I was back.
— Peter
by Valley Gadfly | Feb 26, 2015 | Valley Gadfly
’Tis time to re-imagine the luck o’ the Irish as spring buds. As sure as shamrocks are growing in the land, this is the month to begin making your own good fortune. Give a wink to Saint Patrick’s Day and leprechauns will be near you to spread luck along your way. Resurgence of green reflects our desire to integrate nature and green in our lives.
According to Irish myths and folklore, good luck will pursue you morning and night, thus your pockets will be heavy and your heart light by merely pushing your luck.
Here’s our lucky charm choices for shopping, dining and entertainment sprinkled with stardust to be sure it’s as grand as if you lived in Ireland’s green countryside:
3 Rugby began in Ireland in 1854 and is sure to be a lucky charm when the Glendale Raptors play their opening home game in Infinity Park Stadium vs. the Barbarians on March 7, 3 p.m. Information: glendaleraptors.com.
3 It’s a bit o’ Irish luck as the Philadelphia Print Shop West In Cherry Creek holds a sale of fine art prints March 9-15. Information: 303-322-4757.
3 If you think you are having transmission trouble and you don’t know where to find a four-leaf clover, good fortune will be yours if you pick locally owned AAMCO Transmission. Information: 303-462-2626.
3 Join Leprechauns — those independent thinkers — at the Maverick Thinkers Gala in the Grand Hyatt Denver March 10. Information: 303-974-2900.
3 If you enjoy spirited musical fantasy catch the Katharina Treutler concert March 17 at Grant-Humphreys, 7 p.m. Information: 303-894-2505.
3 For platefuls of Irish grub you’ll love, contemplate Monaco Inn’s corned beef and cabbage served on St. Paddy’s Day. Information: 303-320-1104.
3 To plan for love that never ends attend the Season of Love wedding showcase in the Seawell Ballroom March 21. Information: 303-572-4466.
3 The luck of the Irish will follow you as you tweet for hidden cash On Havana Street March 21, 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Information: 303-360-7505.
3 The 53rd St. Patrick’s Day Parade is set to march off at 9:30 a.m. on Saturday, March 14. It is a festive and fun event that celebrates Irish culture and heralds the start of spring. It’s the largest St. Paddy’s parade west of the Mississippi as well as the largest annual parade in Denver. More than 200,000 people line the route to enjoy horses, stagecoaches, floats, marching bands and Irish-themed fun.
Four leaf clovers are rare enough to have inspired legends and song. Such leaves bring good luck to their finders. There are approximately 10,000 three-leaf clovers for every four-leaf clover found. In addition, each leaf is believed to represent something: The first is for faith, the second is for hope, the third is for love and the fourth is for luck.
Even so, collectors are not deterred — due no doubt to the luck o’ Irish — and have had the good fortune to have recorded finding as high as 160,000 four-leaf clovers.
Should the luck of the Irish begin to enfold you could even find a five-leaf clover. Some four-leaf clover collectors — particularly in Ireland — regard the five-leaf clover known as a “rose clover” as an exacting treasure. So begin looking for those lucky clovers this spring and you’ll soon find joy and be in the green, and that’s no blarney!
— Glen Richardson
The Valley Gadfly can be reached at newspaper@glendalecherrycreek.com.
by Mark Smiley | Feb 26, 2015 | Travel
by John Edwards
Tired of the endless snow? I-70 traffic jams? Although we know spring will arrive, there will still be sudden snows followed by every afternoon showers. How about a quick getaway, to a state of warmth? We can quickly fly from Denver International Airport to Los Angeles, San Diego, Las Vegas or Phoenix. We’ve been there and the warmth is not guaranteed. Cherry Creek Valley residents should consider a quick, cheap cruise on a big luxury ship in March or April. Below is a sample itinerary which makes this type of trip affordable.
Fort Lauderdale, Florida’s Port Everglades serves 10 cruise lines and 30 ships. The Fort Lauderdale-Hollywood airport is served economically and non-stop from Denver by Southwest and Spirit Airlines. And therein lies the magic.
Have your travel agent book the four day cruise on the Celebrity Constellation ship starting at $349 or consider the Carnival Conquest which comes in at a similar price point.
Take an inside cabin since you won’t be in it except to sleep. The Constellation (www.cruisemates.com/constellation) departs Thursdays for Nassau, Bahamas, then on to Key West and back. Take the Carnival Conquest for six days if you like waterslides, kids and loud music.
Southwest Airlines has numerous daily flights but the non-stop flights are less expensive and only four hours. One flight leaves at 7:30 a.m and arrives at 1:10 p.m. That leaves some of the day, but if there is a flight delay, you cannot make the 3 p.m. deadline to catch a cruise ship departing at 4 p.m.
The alternative is the Spirit Airlines “redeye.” Book online on “everything added-on” Spirit Airlines’ overnight flight that departs evenings at 11:40 p.m. and arrives at 5:15 a.m. the next morning. Pay for your ticket and one checked bag both ways at booking. Bring your own snacks, juices, water, pillow and enough drugs to sleep upright.
Upon arrival at 5:15 a.m., retrieve your bag, eat breakfast at the airport and change into your shorts with bathing suit underneath. (That overnight red-eye flight saved you a $180 overnight hotel stay.)
Head For The Beach
Take the city bus from the airport to the beach at the Bahia Mar Doubletree Hotel. Store your bag with the bellman for $5. Walk across the street to the uncrowded beach. Relax in the sun and sand. After 10 a.m., catch the nearby Water Taxi (water taxi.com) for a guided tour through the waterways, the mansions and yachts. After noon, get your bag and a taxi to the cruise port to check in by 3 p.m.
After checking in, go directly to your room and take a nap. Your bags will not arrive until later. Be gently awakened by announcements for the mandatory life jacket drill as the ship leaves the harbor.
After the cruise, the ship docks early Monday morning. A Budget Rental Car shuttle picks up customers at the port. Rent a car from the nearby Quay Center location and tour the area before dropping the car off at the airport at 6 p.m. for your departure at 8:15 p.m.
For lunch, don’t miss the famous Rustic Inn Crabhouse (rusticinn.com) on a canal at the end of the airport. The roadhouse on the water serves whole garlic steamed crabs and other fresh seafood. Diners are outfitted with a bib and a wooden mall
et to destroy and devour the monster crab. Scraps that fall onto the floor drop through the wooden planks to fish swarming below. The restaurant is easy to find and is located under the low-flying aircraft approach at the airport.
Total these costs and compare them to a traditional 8-day vacation and 7-day cruise. Luxury cruising for less!
Travel Writer John Edwards is President of Golf Travel Writers of America and has been on 19 cruises.
