Strangers On The Same Couch

Strangers On The Same Couch

by | Mar 27, 2015 | Feature Story Bottom Left

Confessions Of A Serial Dater

Sheik Of Cherry Creek Greg Hollenback

I don’t know about you but one of my biggest fears in life is being in a committed relationship with someone only to end up as a couple of strangers on the same couch, together, forever. For those of you wondering what I’m talking about let me explain… Strangers on the same couch are couples who no longer have any desire to talk with each other or share intimate thoughts with their partner. Couples never start out as strangers on the same couch but if you’re not very careful you may wind up sharing your most valuable down time in a personal prison with a mysterious cell mate. No thank you.

Hollenback 4-15First I am going to share with you signs that you may be in a “strangers on the same couch” situation, or you’re heading in that direction fast.

  1. Most of your conversations with your partner are very short and blasé. You know, “How was your day?” “What’s for dinner?” “Is there anything good on the tube tonight?” You get the picture. Making small talk is a lot easier and safer than actually talking about something important in your life.
  2. You find yourself closer to a cubicle mate or a co-worker than you do your partner. The day that it dawns on you that you express yourself without hesitation with strangers or acquaintances but you bite your lip at home because you don’t want to start a fight or be judged you might just be with a stranger on the same couch.
  3. Let’s face it, sitting next to someone on a couch in silence for hours gives you a lot of time to think and plan. When you’re thinking of things you want to do or things you want to experience are you wanting to include that lump sitting next to you? If not, you are definitely a stranger on the same couch.
  4. Do you find yourself trying to avoid the metaphoric couch altogether? This is an advanced stage of the Stranger on the Same Couch Syndrome. When you’re at this stage something has to give and you’re either going to shut down everything that is you and give into the couch, or you’re going to freak out one day and jump out the window in order to escape.
  5. Are you constantly on your computer or laptop “working” so you have some kind of contact with people other than your couch stranger?

Some of you reading this can really identify with what I am talking about because you are living it now or you have lived like this before. Others of you may not be quite there yet but you find yourself slip sliding in that direction. The obvious solution for me would be to blow things up and push the reset button and see where the chips fall. I’m a keep it real guy at all costs because I know the price to pay is more than I’m willing to give. I have to be me, and you have to be you, anything short of that is fake and I can’t do fake. Some people can do fake though and those people scare the heck out of me. You know who I’m talking about… These people tell you what you want to hear, they give you false reality, they tell you what you “need to know” about themselves, they have more buried in them than King Tut’s tomb. They would rather lie when the truth would do.

If you’re anything like me you’re searching for true love and you want to share yourself with someone completely. In order for me to gift to someone the purest essence that makes up me and my heart I have to know that I am being afforded that same gift in return. Well, that and she has to be hot and witty. Probably too much to ask seeing as though I haven’t found all the puzzle pieces but I’ve been close a couple of times, real close.

All I can tell you speaking from a ton of dating and relationship experience is that if you don’t want to end up being a stranger on the same couch with someone is to set personal standards with whomever you’re dating when you feel you want to start taking things more serious with each other. Foresight, prevention and communication will be your strongest allies in your plight for a fun, productive, honest, enjoyable relationship. Just like I mentioned earlier, couples never start out as strangers on the same couch, it’s something that happens over time and it is up to you to make sure it doesn’t happen and you need to be aware when you see it happening and be prepared to address it.

When you are in the fun, open, no-expectations phase of your dating, point out certain situations or intimate times you are having so you have a reference point or a marker, if you will, of a time when you were able to be real and have fun together. Fight for the best in your personal life and who you choose to share it with. You deserve it!

Lastly, the Modern Dater Date Club is about to be launched! A couple of things, it looks like we have a great group of daters who contacted me but there is a problem. I never in a million years thought I would find myself saying these words but here goes… There are not enough guys! Blah, I feel weird but it’s true. Most of the people who have contacted me (like 80 percent) are women, tons of women. What’s up with that guys? Or are all of my readers ladies? Either way here’s your chance guys, email me at themoderndater@gmail.com (yes ladies, you can too) and get ready for some “Circle Cooking” with some of Denver’s finest single ladies.

Hope you’re enjoying spring, Sheik!

Start. Somewhere.

Start. Somewhere.

by | Mar 27, 2015 | Feature Story Middle Left

Colorado Athletic Club Fitness Tips

by Amy Boone Thompson

BSED – Certified Health Coach, ACE

National Director of Personal Training Wellbridge

We all know we need to exercise more and eat healthier. The benefits are irreplaceable and the consequences of not doing so are irrefutable. Despite good intentions, many people simply feel overwhelmed with taking the first step. What every great Personal Trainer will tell you is that committing to a healthier lifestyle is a lot easier than you may think.

First, consider the reasons you want to make this positive change in your life. Do it for yourself, not others, and do it with a true intention of being healthier; not simply looking better but also feeling better and living longer. How will your life change once you have accomplished this goal of including daily exercise and good eating habits? How will you feel?

Consider the obstacles that could get in the way of achieving this transformation. Now begin eliminating and/or removing them in order to pave a successful path. For example, if your day gets filled with appointments and miscellaneous activities, you need to schedule your workout before your day officially starts.

When you have completed both of the above, turn your attention to small and lasting changes. One change per week is a strategy that has worked with our clients. You can build upon this success by adding on just one healthier habit per week. An example, this week try sleeping more. Get at least seven hours of uninterrupted sleep. Next week, continue the sleep habit and try drinking more water.

The reason many people fail to achieve their goals is because they try to accomplish too much at once. These are easy ways to generate positive results that you can incorporate with little discomfort and begin creating a lifelong habit. When you are ready to join an athletic club or locate a Certified Personal Trainer, look for the most reputable in your community. Until then, start simple and start small, but start something. One positive habit will lead to another and another.