Communication is easy right? You just open your mouth and let your thoughts turn into words and voila! Now we’re talking. I guess talking to each other is that easy if you’re just trying to get your point across, no matter how it’s received. All of us know by now (or should) that it isn’t what you have to say, but it’s how you say it. How you talk with people plays a key role in communicating your message, and ultimately whatever message you are trying to convey will result in an action, or a response from the other person. I’m guessing most people want positive responses from the words that they choose to use.
And yes, I am going to use my column this month to give guys a few tips on how to talk to women. That’s right, how. Not what to say to women, but how to talk to them. I would think the following tips I give you are common knowledge but I am shocked by some of the interactions I see with men and women when they first meet. Seriously, sometimes I’m shocked to the point that I cringe and think to myself what in the world is he doing? I feel creepy just witnessing this. Ladies I guess you can stop reading right here since none of the following pertains to you, but I know you won’t.
First, I have to state a few qualifiers before I start my list. Yes, I believe men and women need to be communicated to differently especially in a dating atmosphere. Yes, I am a guy and of course my point of view is going to be from a male perspective. Yes, I believe women more so than men need to be verbally stimulated. After all, first impressions are everything right? All the women just said yes to that question and most guys are thinking well she can be kinda rude and bitchy if she’s hot. Okay, let’s go!
- When you first meet and even shortly thereafter meeting a woman, don’t make creepy sexual innuendoes off of the words they say. You know what I’m saying, the whole “that’s what she said” kind of thing. Playing off a woman’s words and turning them into something perverted is a sure way to freak her out. The crazy thing about this advice is that it freaks her out at first but once you gain their trust women can be just as vulgar as guys. Weird how it works that way.
- Women like to be spoken to normally. Just like you would talk to a friend in a casual conversation. Sometimes I even need to catch myself when I am talking to a woman to whom I am attracted, to not start talking weird. Not like saying weird stuff to them, just being unsure of what to say or how to say it. When women sense you feel that they are superior to you they lose interest. She no longer associates you in her mind as an alpha male. To simplify, just treat them the same as the girl you know you could get.
- Don’t talk like a braggadocios jerk. Women hate a guy that brags or talks himself up. Just like I said earlier that a woman wants to be verbally stimulated she also wants to find out things about you organically. There is no better position to be in than when a lady wants to learn more about you. Let her decide where her curiosity takes her imagination.
- Do not, I repeat do not set an argumentative tone to your communicating. Playful verbal exchanges back and forth are great, and encouraged, but plain heated debates are a total turn off.
- Keep your communication fun, funny, upbeat and positive! If there is one lasting piece of advice that I hope would stick it would be this one. Guys, keep it light, keep it real and keep them wanting more.
I believe in the art of communicating and I embrace the differences between men and women. I have been in the business of communications for many years and I know the power of conversation. Remember, it’s not what you say but it’s how you say it and how your words are received. Choose your words wisely and be aware the next words that come out of your mouth can be taken many ways. Try to deliver them so someone might want to listen.
Lastly, the Modern Dater Date Club is about to be launched! If you want in just shoot me an email at themoderndater@ gmail.com and I’ll send you more info on upcoming gatherings. Thanks for reading!
— Sheik
