by Mark Smiley | Sep 25, 2020 | Feature Story Bottom Left
by Kim Schulz, VP of Youth Development, YMCA of Metro Denver
Virtual schooling has more kids and teens online now than ever before. While technology has led to ease of learning, resources and flexibility, it can also make more teens vulnerable to cyberbullying.
Remember, bullying doesn’t just happen at school. It can happen anywhere, including through texting, the internet, social media and gaming platforms. So, just what is cyberbullying? It is most often repetitive behavior aimed at badmouthing, humiliating, scaring or shaming those who are targeted. Examples include:
• Spreading lies about someone or posting embarrassing photos of them on social media.
• Sending hurtful messages or threats using online messaging platforms.
• Impersonating someone and sending mean messages to others on their behalf.
So what should you and your child do when it happens to you? Here are some helpful tips to not only recognize cyberbullying but to deal with it.
Prevention
The first step is to place appropriate permissions and restrictions on technology usage and access to electronics. Setting reasonable limits early on can prevent kids from becoming too attached to their computers and devices later.
It’s also a good idea to have open communication with your child. Encourage your son or daughter to come to you with questions and concerns and let them know that no subjects are out of bounds.
Spot It And Stop It
There are some red flags when it comes to bullying; behavior changes include isolation, withdrawal and avoidance of activities and events. Be on the lookout for changes in your child’s behavior and inquire about the root cause.
If you observe any behavioral or emotional changes in your child, be sure to address the subject in a calm, non-threatening, private manner at a time and place when both you and your child can communicate openly. It may even be helpful to rehearse what you’re going to say to your child in advance.
Another telltale sign of cyberbullying is your child’s preoccupation with his or her computer or device; fixation on a device in concert with behavioral changes can often signal something going on behind the scenes.
If you do need to check your child’s device, it’s recommended that you have a discussion with them first and involve them in the process. Unless it’s an extreme circumstance, it’s rarely advisable to betray your child’s trust by going through their private messages without their knowledge.
If your child cites a cyberbullying instance, it’s important to remain calm and let them know you’re glad they shared it with you. Then the two of you can have a discussion about the best next steps, whether it’s alerting the bullying child’s parents, closing an online account or another method; by working together, you can arrive at a solution that will not only help remedy the issue but also alleviate additional stress for your child.
Keep Communication Open
Keep the lines of communication with your child open; continue to have ongoing dialogue with your child after the incident. As parents, it’s up to us to inspire confidence in our children, both online and off.
And, if you and your child have done everything you can to resolve a situation and nothing has worked or something is in immediate danger, seek the appropriate authorities for help.
To learn more about youth education and leadership programs, as well as health and fitness programs at the YMCA of Metro Denver, visit www.denverymca .org.
by Mark Smiley | Sep 25, 2020 | Featured Stories & Advertisers
In the August 2020 edition of the Glendale Cherry Creek Chronicle, the story entitled ‘Target’ Secretly Going Into Lowry Boulevard One, it was stated: “Requests for commentary on this issue were either deflected to other entities or ignored entirely by the Lowry Redevelopment Authority, Denver District 5 City Council Office, Lowry United Neighborhoods (LUN), Lowry Community Master Association (LCMA), Boulevard One Master Association (BOMA) and to some degree — Target Corporate Headquarters.”
It has been brought to our attention that a request for comment was sent by our journalist to the Denver District 5 City Council office on August 2, 2020. On August 4, 2020, Denver District 5’s Chief of Staff JoyAnn Ruscha, responded via email to our journalist: “The Councilwoman found out about the Target coming to BoulevardOne when a friend posted about it on Facebook. She has no information or comment on it.”
We regret this omission.
by Mark Smiley | Aug 21, 2020 | Travel
(BPT) – By Dr. Bela Sood, MD, child and adolescent psychiatrist and senior mental health policy professor at Children’s Hospital of Richmond at VCU.
This pandemic is unlike anything we’ve ever experienced, so how can we help our children cope, especially when we’re also feeling anxious? The key lies in acknowledging our own fears and concerns, while understanding how each individual child handles emotional challenges.
Parenting is hard. Parenting during a pandemic can feel especially challenging as you balance changes in work, home and school. Here’s how you can provide support and reassurance, whatever your child’s stage of development.
Start with yourself
Even infants pick up on their parents’ moods, so your emotional state will affect how your children cope.
As instructed on airplanes, during turbulence you should put on your own oxygen mask before helping others. The same is true of turbulent times: Take care of yourself first.
Reflect on how you feel: Are you angry about disrupted routines? Worried about the future? Missing loved ones? When you’re stressed, practice self-care: Exercise, meditate or talk with a friend. This will help you feel more “centered” so you can model calm, positive attitudes and behavior.
Limit media exposure
It’s easy to become overwhelmed by negative news. Stay with your children during news reports and encourage them to ask questions. Limit your own exposure too, as it can affect your mood.
Consider your child’s stage of development
Babies and toddlers won’t understand what’s happening, but they respond to emotional cues. Though it’s not always easy, if you can stay calm and positive, they’re more likely to relax.
Maintain routines, as all children thrive on predictable schedules. Knowing when to expect meals, playtime and bedtime helps them feel more safe and secure.
Preschoolers have many questions about everything, but keep your explanations simple. Discuss the virus as being like a very bad cold or flu when explaining why everyone is wearing masks or why they can’t go on play dates.
Validate your child’s feelings by saying, “I understand you’re upset right now,” or “It’s okay to miss grandma. I miss her too.”
Let your children connect with others safely. Make video calls to relatives or socialize with a small group of neighbors outdoors while practicing social distancing. Help your child write letters to friends.
School-aged children are more peer-oriented, but they still appreciate spending time with parents. It’s a great opportunity to start new hobbies together, while also letting them pursue their own interests.
If your children appear anxious, angry or sad, encourage them to talk about it. Share how you’re feeling, too. Establish a weekly “check-in” dinner where everyone has a turn to express their feelings.
Include children in chores and activities that give them a feeling of control. Let them assume responsibilities like folding laundry or cleaning, offering choices about what activities they prefer.
Teenagers are beginning to separate psychologically from their parents, so being forced to be together all day can be tough on them, as well as on parents! Older teens are missing out on significant milestones, like homecoming, sports or performing arts, which may be important parts of their identities.
Put yourself in your teen’s shoes. This period is hardest for teens who derive energy from peer interactions. Show empathy by saying, “This must be so disappointing for you.” Help them find creative ways to make this time memorable and connect with peers who practice social distancing. The weekly family dinner may be the perfect time to listen to your teen and problem-solve together.
Warning signs
It’s normal for kids to occasionally seem sad, anxious or angry. Encourage them to voice their feelings and acknowledge that it’s okay for them to feel that way.
If your child becomes increasingly withdrawn, disconnected or obsessed with video games or other self-isolating activities, it may be a signal that they’re preoccupied with worries about the future or other topics. Try drawing them out to determine whether you should seek their pediatrician’s advice. It’s challenging to keep children entertained at home 24/7, so don’t be too hard on yourself. Offer additional social support from close friends and relatives.
If you think it would help them to get counseling and they’re reluctant, tell them that when you’re in trouble, you seek help. Let them choose whether to participate or not. If your child is unwilling to talk to a counselor, you may find it helpful to see a therapist to share observations of your child, get a better understanding of what may be happening and develop strategies to support them.
For the latest on COVID-19 and resources to support your family’s mental health, visit chrichmond.org/covid-resources.
