by Mark Smiley | Feb 29, 2016 | Feature Story Bottom Left
Here I am, 43-years-old, never been married and I don’t have any kids. When I was 30 that bachelor status was cool, in fact, it was a positive selling point when it came to my bachelor résumé. Now fast forward 13 years. That very same status that I wore as a badge of honor has become “there must be something wrong with this guy.” “He must have commitment problems.” “His window to have kids has closed.” “Greg is going to be a lifelong bachelor.”
How did my superior bachelor status not change, yet go from being cool to creepy? How did my not having baggage turn into BEING my baggage?
Time did it, that’s how. The only thing that changed is I am older now. That’s all, my age has changed. Just like the movie Back to the Future, what kind of advice would the 43-year-old Greg give to the 30-year-old Greg if I could fire up the Flux Capacitor in the ol’ DeLorean and travel back in time?
The answer to that question is… A lot! Here are the top words of wisdom I would offer to my younger self.
- Don’t be Captain Save-a-ho! For some reason I have spent most of my adult life trying to heal wounded women. If there was one time killer that took up a huge chunk of my “viable” years it would probably be choosing to engage with ladies that were in a different period in their life than I.
- Know when to call it good! Uncle, I give up. I wish I would have said that more. I wish I had so much of the time I wasted trying to make bad good. It’s a common mistake. I think people naturally don’t want to just throw something away they have put effort into. In retrospect, I think you will agree it takes much more effort to keep a relationship on life support alive than it is to cultivate a new one.
- Be more selfish! Don’t take this the wrong way. I’m not saying not to be kind to people and be generous, quite the contrary. I am saying stay true to your basic needs, that make you happy and who you are, and don’t let anyone EVER chisel away at that, especially in the name of “love.” True love would always want the best for you and encourage you to find happiness within yourself and allow you to feed the hunger and that which you crave.
- Go get what you want! So often I have been my worst enemy and have sabotaged myself romantically. I know the “type” of woman that would be great for me and I know what I’m attracted to. So why wouldn’t I focus and go get that woman? Probably because when I think about what a great woman that would be I start to doubt that she would want a guy like me. Self-doubt can be a huge stunt to achievement and growth.
- Don’t be afraid to be alone! The pros and cons to being alone. The pros: you are light on your feet, you can be open to a good situation if it presents itself, you don’t have to answer to anyone, and you can date multiple people and see what works best for you. The cons: you’re alone.
- Trust your gut! I’m telling you, gut feelings are usually spot on. If you are in a situation that just doesn’t seem or feel right … it probably isn’t. Don’t waste time on people that have no room in your future.
- Know when you’ve reached Mecca! Grass isn’t always greener on the other side. When you find someone that makes you happy and who promotes your growth in a positive way hold on to them. Life isn’t about giving someone your time; it’s about finding someone you enjoy spending your time with.
It’s crazy how time can work for and against you. Trust me when I tell you it’s better to have time on your side. I know I’m not 100-years-old yet but my window for what I want is narrowing and I never thought it would. I am full on single right now so it should be interesting what the next few years have in store for me. I am going to do everything in my power to be the best person I can be to hopefully attract the kind of woman I desire. The time to date smartly is now, for all of us. Keep it real out there!
Your pal, the Sheik
by Mark Smiley | Feb 29, 2016 | Travel
by Megan Carthel
According to the United Nations, one in three women will be beaten or raped in their lifetime, and for the past four years many of those women in Colorado showed up at One Billion Rising, a rally against violence toward women.
One Billion Rising is the largest mass action to end and bring awareness to violence against women. The name comes from the statistic of one-in-three. With the world’s population, that totals one billion women who will be beaten or victims of rape. One Billion Rising is leading the initiative to not only make victims survivors, but for violence to no longer be a threat to women.
Each year has had a theme, and this year was centered around the idea of revolution. This year’s rally focused on marginalized women, a call for people to rise for others and international issues such as human trafficking. Here in Colorado, Caitlin Brozna-Smith and her company Bella Diva Dance organized the event. For her, the initiative is personal. Three years ago, just as One Billion Rising was getting started, one of her dancers was almost fatally shot by her ex-fiancé.
“We’re going to rally for our dancer, and we’re going to come together and stand up saying this is not okay,” Brozna-Smith said.
On Valentine’s Day this year, over 200
women, men, girls and boys of all ages gathered to hear stories of survivors of rape and domestic abuse. They danced and marched around Denver to raise awareness. Dancing, Brozna-Smith said, is way of expressing unashamed emotion and reclaiming a sense of confidence. Activists and participants across the world dance the same dance on the same day to bring awareness. Brozna-Smith and Bella Diva Dance put a global spin on it, pulling dancing techniques from Bollywood, belly dancing and dance techniques from around the world.
“People are using their bodies because that’s what was violated.”
Bella Diva Dance has been a participant in One Billion Rising ever since one of their own was a victim of domestic violence, but this is Brozna-Smith’s first year heading the rally.
“It’s been very moving in terms of how many people who you actually get to discover this is happening to, and I think it’s something that needs to be talked about more,” Brozna-Smith said.
Tangi Lancaster and her husband Stephan w
ere both victims of abuse and attended the One Billion Rising rally in Denver. As parents of boys, they feel a need to teach them about body awareness and the power of “no.”
“When they say no, no means no, and I think that starts at a very young age. And we need to engrain that,” Tangi said. “When they do get older and they are around other children who no doesn’t mean no, they can be an advocate, and that’s really why I like to bring them too. So that they know they have a voice, and that they know how to use it.”
For Stephan, he’s there to support his wife and the other billion women who’ve experienced abuse — their entire family wearing matching shirts.
“I know that having my wife at the end of the day having us all dancing together, supporting her, her making these shirts, us all wearing them and me proudly wearing it — I think that’s the part for me that makes me feel good,” Stephan said. “She knows that I’m there for her, and she knows that she’s protected for sure. I would never let anybody ever hurt her again.”
Brozna-Smith wants more men like Stephan to be involved. She said until more men get involved, domestic violence will continue to be a women’s issue. Katee Valverde attended the rally as a victim and survivor. Standing up against violence, toward either gender, is something she feels passionate about.
“I’m here because I’m one in three. I’ve been abused, victimized. I’ve been assaulted. And it’s time to not be quiet anymore,” Valverde said. “It’s too many victims. It doesn’t matter what gender. They’re victims.”
Domestic violence is a prevalent issue around the globe and in Colorado. According to the National Coalition against Domestic Violence, 16,700 people reported at least one domestic violence crime in 2014, and 25 Coloradans were killed by their current or former intimate partners. In a more staggering statistic, the NCADV found that 1,018 people were abducted by current or former intimate partners in 2014, and half of those were abducted by current or former dating partners.
by Valley Gadfly | Feb 29, 2016 | Valley Gadfly
Hup, two, three: We are marching our way out of the freezing months of indoor psychosis. Although we enjoyed an unusually warm February, March is normally the first decently eventful month of the year. The old adage says, “March comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb.” At least according to the calendar spring begins March 20th.
Even on March days when the sun shines hot the wind often blows cold. Charles Dickens described it as “days when it is summer in the light, and winter in the shade.”
Here are our John Philip Sousa choices for shopping, dining and entertainment to join ranks shoulder to shoulder as the month’s cold and warm days keep marching by:
3 March the kids — boys and girls K to 8th grade — over to Infinity Park and get them enrolled in spring after school rugby March 1-April 7 on Tuesday and Thursday from 4:30-5:45 p.m. Information: 303-639-4713.
3 Keep in step with Junior League’s works at their fundraiser Journey in the Hyatt Convention Center March 4, 6 p.m. Information: 303-692-0270.
3 Drum up friends and attend Ten Thousand Villages grand re-opening and 35th birthday bash on Clayton St. March 4-6. Information: 303-316-8773.
3 If you can’t get the gang up for a breakfast march, order it delivered to your home from Mici Handcrafted Italian. Information: 303-322-6424.
3 No blarney: Don’t miss the Irish dance phenomenon Riverdance playing at the Buell Theatre in the DCPA March 8-13. Information: 303-892-4100.
3 Hear St. Martin’s Chamber Choir sing passion carols on Palm Sunday weekend at St. Andrew’s March 19-20, 7:30 and 3 p.m. Information: 303-298-1970.
3 See quality, depth and diversity of work by Colorado artists at Art of the State show in the Arvada Center March 27. Information: 720-898-7200.
3 Far more than a march, the 54th annual Denver St. Patrick’s Day Parade downtown March 12 is an extravaganza. Get out your four leaf clovers and green outfits and join the throngs lining the streets beginning at 9:30 a.m. Adrian Farrell, Consul General of Ireland, is Grand Marshal of this year’s parade, largest west of the Mississippi. You’ll see marching bands, dancers and floats. Information: 303-368-9861.
Keep it up, two, three four: March is a month without mercy for rabid basketball fans. There will be no such thing as a “gentleman gambler” when the Big Dance rolls into the Pepsi Center for the first- and second-round games March 17 and 19. Two teams will advance from the NBA rounds here into the “Sweet 16” regional competition.
This month has prospects for seeing the sun and winning some money. The winds will blow in a wee bit of green tint by St. Paddy’s Day and chase away the winter blues.
Single file by the ranks march ahead to National Goof Off Day March 22. Hark to the cheering, as this is a holiday for everyone, no brains or brawn required. Keep on stomping to the cadence because March 26 is Make Up Your Own Holiday. Listen to the crowd’s roar since spring begins this month and we can all march to our own drum.
— Glen Richardson
The Valley Gadfly can be reached at newspaper@glendalecherrycreek.com.
by Peter Boyles | Feb 29, 2016 | Blasting with Boyles
I think it’s fair to assume, historically speaking, that every holiday on the calendar is man-made, man created. If you think of the concept this way, at the beginning of time there were no holidays. I would suspect that when we went from families to tribes, the biggest, toughest member of the tribe would call all the shots on what the tribe did and what the tribe thought was important, and how things were going to be marked.
I always thought that when Mug and his counter tribal member Ug were sitting in a cave and lightning hit a tree in front of them, they were convinced that one of them had done something wrong. This would be especially true when a few months later Ug gets hit on the top of the head with a lightning bolt. That’s when the tribe figures somebody done somebody wrong and the eye in the sky was setting things straight.
We’re here on the doorstep of March and here comes a couple of big holidays, St. Patrick’s Day and Easter. As a little guy, both of these holidays held significance. On Easter you got new shoes and a chocolate rabbit and you went to church a couple more times that week. St. Patrick’s Day, that has morphed itself into green Halloween, was probably the first civil rights demonstration in the new world when a bunch of my relatives marched down 5th Avenue in New York, to snub their noses at the Protestant Yankees.
Question, have you ever had anyone say they’re trying to get rid of the holiday blues around Easter and St. Patrick’s? You’ve never heard anybody say that Easter music or St. Patrick’s music depressed them. In fact, if you’re drinking, Irish music begins to sound Chinese around 4:00 in the afternoon. In fact, with Irish music, you can only do two things. I know people say you can dance to it but that’s not true, you can fight or you can drink but you can’t dance or make love. So much for St. Patrick and, for what it’s worth, Ireland never had snakes. I think they all went to Scotland. Which kind of kills another rumor.
Think now of Kwanzaa. If there ever was a holiday that’s made up that’s Kwanzaa. But give it another generation. Kwanzaa will be as accepted as any other holiday. I see myself as kind of a pre-Kwanzaa kid, but to each his own.
And to further give you ideas about how holidays are manufactured, there are now efforts across this country to rename Columbus Day. Here in Colorado, the charge is led by one of the foremost politically correct greats Representative Joe (Little Joe from Kokomo) Salazar who wants to put the kibosh on Columbus Day. The Thornton Democrat is the head of a growing chorus of people calling for Columbus Day to be renamed Indigenous Peoples’ Day, Native American Day, or Dia De La Roza. Are you starting to get the point?
In the distant future, think of all the holidays we could eliminate: Groundhog Day could become Endangered Species Day, Labor Day could be called Welfare Day, and Memorial Day could be Conscientious Objector Day.
So here’s the $64,000 question, what does the Easter bunny have to do with Easter? What do bunnies, colored eggs, and baby chickens wearing gardening hats have to do with Easter? The Christian holiday that honors the day Jesus Christ rose from the dead? The answer is spring. The time of much sexual activity and birth, and new life.
So when you’re scarfing down chocolate bunnies on Easter Sunday ask your friends what the hell do these little chickens have to do with Easter, or better yet, how about Scientology? It’s the one religion that makes all the others look good. If you’ll buy Zenu, the evil space dictator, you’re good to go on any and all holidays.
By the way, have you ever read what the Hindus believe? Wow. That’s a lot to swallow. So I guess I’ll put on my new shoes, watch my grandson sing in church, and enjoy Easter ham, and a chocolate bunny.
— Peter
