by Peter Boyles | Apr 21, 2022 | Blasting with Boyles
There was a time in very recent history when Denver was known as the Queen city of the Plains, with incredibly low crime rates, wonderful parks and open space, a thriving downtown, safe streets, no gangs, great schools, respected police, and most of us held the government in esteem. Sure, there were minor problems and sure people from time to time would speak out, but by and large whether they were Democrats or Republicans (and there used to be Republicans in Denver) people respected the city, the state, and the system.
Now let me tell you a joke.
On a Native American reservation, a fat cat blow hard U. S. Senator arrives to solve the problems of the native people. When speaking to their leader the senator asked what kind of help did he need from the federal government?
“First,” the man replied, “We need clean water.” The senator immediately went into a huddle with his aides and briefcase carriers and minions and started screaming into his cell phone that he needed water filtration systems and he needed it now.
He went back to the native man and said, “All of this is on the way. What’s your second problem?” The Indian man said, “Medical care.” Again, the senator retreated into the huddle with his little delegates from D.C., starts screaming into his cell phone and demands loudly medical care, and staff and his traveling companions from D.C. gazed on him with adoring eyes.
He returns to the chief and says, “By the end of the week there will be doctors and nurses here and next year at this time there will be a hospital. What’s your third issue?” And the chief responded, “Cell service.”
Now, can you find the elephants and the giraffes and butterflies in that picture? Of course. How many years now did Webb, Peña, Ritter, Hickenlooper, Owens, and Hancock tell you next week this time there’s going to be clean water, doctors, and all will be well. Are you starting to understand? Are you just so conditioned to being lied to by a combination of the media, Republicans and Democrats, bureaucrats, and law firms? Have you finally had enough?
There is a pending election but like most they will promise you fresh water, medical care and, of course, cell service.
by Peter Boyles | Mar 18, 2022 | Blasting with Boyles
He’s Going To Meet The Devil At 4 O’Clock
On Thursday, March 10, about 12 minutes after the hour of eight o’ clock, while I was hosting my award-winning radio show on 710 KNUS, I got a mouth full of marbles, brain full of mush, and I began speaking in tongues. Now normally none of you would have guessed. But I was experiencing what the medical profession calls a TIA, (a mini stroke).
I was awake through the whole thing, it lasted about 10 minutes, and I could read but the words that came out of my mouth came out backwards. I really never realized I could speak Arabic.
Thanks to Steffan Tubbs who was listening in his car, Ellen Graham and, of course, my show producer and friend Billy Thorpe. The train had gone off the tracks. I had just finished a segment with Brother Jeff who was blaming Donald Trump for Tina Peters, and about to talk to Jimmy Sengenberger about Tina Peters. Now I ask you, is it possible that Tina Peters cast a spell on me with eye of the newt, whisper of the cat, and the banshee cry of the Republican Party?
So, I took an ambulance ride, sitting backwards in the snowstorm, with a young paramedic saying, “Sir, we think you’ve had a stroke.”
I immediately said I don’t have strokes, I give them. I was taken to Aurora Medical Center. I can’t tell you how great my medical treatment was, the team that was led by neurologist Dr. Spencer, and Kaitlynn (first name only) that I promised ski lessons to.
I came through with flying colors. They told me after my trip through the MRI using the Michael Jackson drug because of my claustrophobia, and any number of heart stress tests, there seems to be zero sign of me having a stroke. But I had one.
So, they kept me overnight for observation and kicked me loose Friday afternoon. And I realized from the conversations with the doctors these things are caused by stress, stress, stress, blood pressure, and more blood pressure, and not really controlling my diabetes as I should.
And so, I’ve decided to step away from the 710 KNUS golden microphone and, you knew I’d say it, spend more time with my family. I will still be involved with the radio station at a very personal level. The men and women I work with, from Brian, Kelly, and Mel, I can’t thank all of you enough. It’s been a hell of a run.
One of my favorite fighters in boxing was Rocky Marciano. Rocky was 49-0 and took the gloves off and walked away. He died later in a plane crash but had no trauma to his head and body. On the other hand, Mohammed Ali, Joe Frazier, Sugar Ray Robinson, my childhood heroes stayed too long at the dance and paid for it. Even now with Tom Brady trotting back out on the field my fear is he’ll be hurt.
And so, I don’t know what more we all have to prove. I’ll be 79 in the fall. I played my first record at KAAT Radio and I think it was an Engelbert Humperdinck hit, and now I get to say take care of yourselves. The column will continue here at the Chronicle thanks to Chuck and Julie. I’ve got a great career at 710 KNUS that I can be behind-the-scenes, and for the first time in quite a while I feel relieved.
P.S.: I’ll do a gofundme for Tina Peters if she’ll release me from her evil grasp.
— Peter Boyles
by Peter Boyles | Mar 4, 2022 | Blasting with Boyles
March 2022 Website 
I am no longer a fan of professional sports, with the one exception of pro wrestling, the only true sport left. I have triggered up tens of thousands of Broncos fans in my award-winning career as Denver’s most hated on-air radio guy.
How many times have you sat in a bar, listened to one of your relatives who’s been at the stadium, listened to sports talk radio, or heard your drunk Uncle Billy say, “My Denver Broncos” or ladies and gentlemen, your Denver Broncos? As I’ve said before and will say again, if you really think these are your Denver Broncos, try and go to the game for free. Or better yet, ask for a free hamburger, beer, or even to park for free, and find out how quickly this is not your team.
Now your Broncos are officially on sale. Most people that I respect believe they will carry the greatest price in North American sports history. The Bowlen trust, God, would I like to be a part of that, has valued the team, according to my close personal friends, right under $4 billion. The last huge sale that I could find was the New York Mets, which sold for $2.4 billion. However, they play more games. Checking on the internet, the Carolina Panthers sold for $2.2 billion in 2018. You know orange and blue is going to go for a hell of a lot more than that.
Let’s turn to the beloved Bowlen family, who cut each other’s throats and couldn’t get along, making the movie Knives look like a documentary. If you remember, Pat Bowlen bought the Denver Broncos from another lucky sperm club member, Edgar Kaiser. I’ve read he paid $74 million. And remember, Edgar tried to buy it back. And they chased him down the street like a red-headed stepson. Edgar passed away in 2012, Mr. Bowlen in 2019, so now, to the best of my knowledge, there are seven who have the golden ticket in the Willy Wonka bar.
Now remember you paid for their brand-new stadium. I remember once asking if people wanted to kick in and buy me a new radio station. I was turned back. So how much tax subsidy did you personally pay? How about sales tax? The Coors Field tax that was left over? The Metro Sports District? All of this now goes to the family. I’ve said this before, I can’t do math and I can’t do marriage but if you divide the magnificent seven into four billion it works out to $571 million each.
Now the obvious question is what about me? As I’ve heard many women say to me what about my needs? Should you and I get part of the action? Should we be getting a portion of the sale? I love the idea of supporting the blood of the city who screamed at the Glendale PD, “I know the mayor.”
I know the mayor, too. Both in Glendale and Denver. For what it’s worth, I watched one officiate the marriage of the other. So how does that entitle me to jack? Take care of yourselves.
Go Broncos.
— Peter Boyles
by Peter Boyles | Jan 21, 2022 | Blasting with Boyles
The State Of Colorado Turns Its Lonely Eyes To You
When I first noticed Kim Kardashian away from reality television and Entertainment Tonight, I found her to be an influence in the social contacts of former President Donald Trump. And then, much to the chagrin of all of my attorney friends, I found out she’s studying to be a lawyer.
My response, when questioned why you didn’t go to law school, has always been, “Because my parents were married.”
So, Jared Polis, no man’s fool, the smartest elected politician in Colorado since Ben Nighthorse Campbell became a Republican, cops one of the greatest, smoothest moves in the history of political infighting in colorful Colorado.
Now mind you, recently convicted Rogel Aguilera-Mederos killed four people and ruined the lives of many more, rightfully was sentenced to 110 years. Remember that Uncle Jared has his eyes on the same offices Uncle Don was in when he first copped a deal with Kim Kardashian.
So, watching the Jefferson County District Attorney’s office doing cartwheels to avoid the plague of social injustice, Jeffco DA Alexis King asked for a hearing for the Judge to reconsider to the mandatory sentence for the 28-car crash driver for losing his brakes coming down I-70. And the Judge agreed.
Enter the dragon. Jared Polis jumped in first and reduced the sentence to 10 years because, although he won’t admit it, he was heavily influenced by none other than Kim Kardashian.
As an elderly straight old man I’m sure Kim Kardashian could influence me to do almost anything. But still, I don’t think I would have walked him out with what former DA and my colleague George Brauchler says could amount to just five years in prison. So, divide four lives taken and countless other lives ruined into five years and what’s he doing, about 28 minutes a life?
Kim called Polis a good person. Now Jared has the Hollywood left, the national social justice warriors, the mainstream media, every two-bit hack in the Democrat Party, and the future locked in.
My prediction is Uncle Jared gets a second term with his eyes on the prize and will be presidential timber in 2024. Kim Kardashian thanked Jared Polis after he reduced the sentence to 10 years from 110 and then Polis denied talking to her. Is this a great country or what?
Keep your eyes on the road ahead. Tap your brakes. And remember according to Kim Kardashian, Aguilera-Mederos will now have an opportunity to come home in five years and be with his son and wife. So much for the people that he killed and the people he burned.
— Peter Boyles
by Peter Boyles | Dec 17, 2021 | Blasting with Boyles
The tradition of a boycott goes back to my people in the Emerald Island when they were being overrun and had their culture destroyed by imperial Britain — oh, by the way, the British managed to do that in about 85 percent of the known world. But the Irish struck back with a tactic known as boycotting, as they stole the name from a British captain by the name of Boycott. So now you get the idea.
Now suddenly after years and years of the world’s biggest multinational corporations removing the means of production from Pittsburgh, Gary, Birmingham, and any other industrial city in this country, into the People’s Republic of China, our woke culture decides they want to boycott the Winter Olympics. I’ve been doing some reading on Olympic boycotts and they don’t work. The first one was in 1956 by Spain, Switzerland, and the Netherlands over the Soviet invasion of Hungary. Remember how much impact that had.
Recall most of the world failed to join Jimmy Carter in the 1980 boycott of the Soviet Games and the Soviets then won all the medals. And Jimmy Carter just screwed a whole generation of young athletes who waited their entire lives to compete in the Games.
So in the 2022 Olympic Games Joe Biden is pulling something called a diplomatic boycott, to which the Chinese retort we didn’t invite you anyway. This is the equivalent of that kid’s birthday party that you weren’t invited to and you told him you didn’t want to come anyhow.
But the real choice involves multi-nation corporations. They’re running the show and if you really want to boycott, go throw away your television and computer screens that you may have in your home, a lot of the parts in your car, any and all things you have that have anything to do with technology, and take them to the city dump. Now you’re showing the Chinese what for.
In reading about the woke corporations that have discovered the Chinese actually use slave labor, I came across LeBron James’ basketball shoe deal with Nike. A reminder, LeBron hates America. His shoes are made in very suspect places with interesting factors. He will make one billion dollars by the time his contract expires when he turns 64. Now a lot of my friends’ dads growing up lost their jobs when their jobs went to China, along with steel and iron workers’ jobs. They were replaced by Walmart, Amazon, Apple, CVC Health, and a couple of big car dealers like Toyota and Volkswagen. They run the show.
These boycotts are meaningless in a woke world where I am now forced to live. NBC will be carrying the Games. I for one will be watching skiing, and a whole lot of people are going to make a whole lot of money.
Next up for Joe, the Ukraine. What a beauty that’s going to be. As they said in Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, “Who are those guys?”
— Peter Boyles
by Peter Boyles | Nov 19, 2021 | Blasting with Boyles
evil Santa Claus grimaces and scares a terrible face on a dark background
The jolly old fat man who broke into my father’s house every 24th of December left me with nothing but disappointment. Why did Santa always know I needed new underwear and socks? I was gypped. Where was the pony with the saddle on it so I could look like Roy and Gene? Heavy disappointment has always followed me through the holidays. Because now I’m in contact with Bad Santa.
He’s got a list of naughty and nice and there’s not much nice. He will be visiting the homes of the following and putting the following items in their stockings:
Governor Polis. Coming down the chimney at the mansion careful not to wake the children, a copy of Tax Returns For Dummies. Hint, hint.
Mayor Michael Hancock. Santa’s mind boggles at the amount of things that could be placed in Mikey’s carefully hung stocking. A divorce decree, a one-way ticket out of town during a no fly without a mask, and slip out the back door and move to Florida when this whole fiasco ends.
Senator Michael Bennet. Santa doesn’t know where to hang the stocking. By the way, he hasn’t seen much of you or Senator Hickenlooper. Part of Santa’s job is to know where people are to know if they are naughty or nice and as Santa said to me about their whereabouts, “Peter, it beats the hell out of me.” So perhaps they caught a break.
Tay Anderson. There’s a guy that Santa really has a case against. Santa has figured Tay out. Tay is running the long con. Tay, in the lexicon of organized crime, is a good earner. Santa predicts Tay will stuff his own stocking with a plan to replace Rep. Diana DeGette.
Kyle Clark. An unlimited amount of pomade for his hair, a little hair dye, and a certificate for $500 at Kohl’s men’s department. Geez Kyle, some of those sport coats my Grandma could have made into a quilt.
Councilwoman Amanda Sawyer. A dead horse’s head in the stocking for her and her Emerge sisters for scheming to destroy 8th Avenue and its residents.
To media mudslinger self-important gadfly Jason Salzman. Truth serum.
But Santa would like to recognize some of the good little boys and girls:
Like Ted Trimpa and Arash Mosaleh, America’s fun couple. The gift of love and happiness.
The Mayor of Glendale, Mike Dunafon. A huge thanks for developing Glendale. Santa loves Glendale. In particular he loves to go to Shotgun’s after all the toys have been delivered.
Tom Tancredo. Santa sends all of his love to the best politician Colorado’s ever had. Santa loves Tom.
Rep. Lauren Boebert. Santa wants to give her a couple of boxes of .45s.
Santa misses John Elway and Pat Bowlen. Santa has limited time for local television news and doesn’t even know where to park his sleigh.
Santa likes Mandy Connell. Santa listens to Mandy every day. Santa’s grateful for being able to dodge lawsuits for another 12 months.
Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night, and have a merry multi-cultural Christmas.
— Peter Boyles
