The sun is out, the laundry is coming off and hormones are flowing like a spring runoff from the glorious Rockies. In my last column, “Secret Fishing Holes,” I wrote about places where you can find single women who are ready to be reeled in by the guy who is aware of how to use an effective approach. So to sum it up, the last article was all about the catch and this one is to help ensure you don’t end up with a dead fish by night’s end (if you are sensitive because I used a fishing analogy as a dating comparison, you may want to discontinue reading any further).
Dating season is a very important time of year if you’re single. But it can be as depressing as waiting in line at the DMV for what seems like days only to be turned away because you failed to bring all of your documents, forcing you to repeat the process. Date like you’re going to the DMV — be ready and be patient.
It breaks my heart when I hear from guys who tell me stories how “the big one got away,” meaning a woman they were really in to but she slipped through their fingers because they weren’t equipped with the proper technique. Yes, I said technique.
I hope the following dating techniques prove to be helpful to you, leaving your pond stocked for you to enjoy all summer long.
- Get your poop in a group. Personally, if you’ve read my column long enough you would know #1 should go without saying. But just like the DMV the smallest overlooked detail can send you packing. So for the sake of review make sure you are date worthy. Do what you can to be attractive and be aware of what attracts women. Get a haircut and get some color on your skin, it’s June for crying out loud, if you’re still pasty you scream inactive. Freshen up your summer gear and make sure the clothes you choose are geared toward the type of women you’re looking to attract. If you’re looking for an earthy stoner then buy some Birkenstocks and get a tie-dye. You get the picture. Obviously, not everyone can still have a body of a 21-year-old but do what you can to be healthy and feel good enough about the effort you put in, and that will translate into how you carry yourself. Women can sniff out an unconfident man in one-half of one second.
- Have options. Don’t have all your eggs in one basket. Speaking of confidence, I can’t impress upon you enough what confidence does to a woman. It’s a God-given aphrodisiac and it should be used to your full advantage. The key is building real confidence and keeping it while you’re battling all of the other fellow date warriors in this survival of the fittest world. You may say, “How do I build and sustain such confidence?” You’re good, that’s right, have options and lots of them, you’re dating after all. Don’t shoot the messenger but guess what, women like guys that other women want as well. Again, I didn’t write the book of nature, I’m just telling the story. I know it seems twisted and hard to wrap your mind around, but ladies don’t want “relationship guy” right off the bat. Unlike being in a relationship with a woman, when you’re dating she doesn’t want to feel like you need her. A needy guy who she knows will do anything for her at a drop of a dime is what she wants down the road, but not while she’s dating. Remember resistance causes attraction and women love a good chase. They can become more ferocious than men when they have their eye on the prize. Bottom line is having other options creates value and kills the needy bug in you. Remember this tactic only works if you are an open, honest gentleman. Word of warning, when you find a woman who is into you as much as you’re into her, you better start eliminating your rotation, quickly.
- Stay even. In other words, keep your cool. Here’s the deal: you will be tested whether it be by her or yourself. Remember guys, this is dating. This isn’t business where you can conduct yourself and make decisions in a logical, clear, fact-based thought process. Welcome to Emotionville, a town scarier to a man than living in New York, in the classic movie Escape From New York. First off, I say it time and time again; girls just want to have fun. Your biggest challenge while navigating the rough dating waters is to not let your emotions keep you from being upbeat or having a fun and even demeanor. These emotional obstacles could be as simple as having a bad day, perceived rejection, being shy, jealousy, non-ideal surroundings, the list goes on but you get the idea. She is going to test you as well, maybe not consciously, but your emotional limits and stability will be tested. A woman wants to know who she’s dealing with. She ultimately is looking for certain qualities in a man. They want to figure out if you can be strong in adverse situations as well as gauge your patience meter. A man that can take control of a situation with finesse and style wins every time.
If you can manage to go out there in datingland and arm yourself with those three techniques, you might just have yourself a fruitful summer and go into nesting season with quite a catch — no pun intended. If you get your poop in a group you will have more options allowing you to stay even so you can go have fun. Fun is the key boys, fun.
Shameless plug: If you want to read more of my musings or hear the podcast of my dating show “The Modern Dater,” which airs live Saturday nights live at 7 p.m. on 630 KHOW, visit www.themoderndater .com. Have fun and keep it classy!
— Sheik