by Peter Boyles and Friends
Putting on our collective thinking caps, looking into our all-seeing crystal ball, we’re going to give you a list of predictions and resolutions for one of the most powerful political years in the country’s history, 2020.
The top of the shop of course is who will be the next President of the United States. Donald Trump the man who would be king or….. any number of erstwhile equally bizarre characters on the other side. Folks, it just doesn’t get any better. This clearly tops when General Curtis LeMay was George Wallace’s Vice Presidential running mate. George McGovern and his first running mate Thomas Eagleton who was just a little before his time, a guy who actually admitted he had emotional problems unlike the present lineup of stars. So here goes.
By the way do you folks remember the Amazing Kreskin? Yeah, I know no one else does either. He always made these predictions on the Mike Douglas show. So, let’s begin.
Who will be the next U.S. Senator from the State of Colorado? Will it be joyride John or cardboard Cory? Remember the joke of the guy in the alley when he gets the gun pulled on him and the stickup artist says, “Your money or your life” and Jack Benny allegedly said, “I’m thinking, I’m thinking.” Boy, how about these two. A couple of stalwarts. One of my New Year’s wishes is for Cory Gardner to get his man card back and get an extra-large jockstrap. Hick is finding out the media does not love him as much as he thought.
How ’bout those Broncos. As we are writing this they are on a winning streak. Is it because they brought another Bowlen family member back into the game?
We predict Denver Mayor Michael Hancock will successfully close whatever remaining open spaces and parks are left in the city and take care of snow removal … and any ice still in your driveway?
How long will Candi CdeBaca be able to bitch slap Michael Hancock around while yelling, “Workers of the world unite, you have nothing to lose but your chains.” And maybe give us a Potemkin tour of the homeless living on the Platte.
And I predict after midnight on January 1, 2020, the first three people to be red flagged will be Tom Tancredo, Dudley Brown and Sheriff Reams from Weld County.
Looming over our shoulder is the return of Brittany Pettersen. Now that General Bud-Weiser has reopened the insanity of heroin injection, will Brittany receive more money from her husband’s pipeline from George Soros’s red phone?
Will our businessman-Governor Jared Polis manage to tank the Colorado economy a year earlier than he planned? And since we know from Greta Thunberg there are only 12 New Year’s Eves left.
And will Shoshana Lew destroy whatever credibility CDOT has left?
But enough of the positive it’s time to thank the good guys for a hell of a 2019.
Mike Roberts and Patti Calhoun from Westword.
Patrick Neville and his band of merry men and women.
Frank McNulty for going after John Hickenlooper even though the Ethics Committee can’t find an empty room to hold their inquiry and the Dems think its ok Hick uses federal 9-11 funds to pay for his lawyer. Is this a great country or what?
The King of Glendale Mike Dunafon.
Comrade CdeBaca for busting Hancock’s chops every chance she gets.
The fine folks that woke up in Colorado and voted to keep Tabor while the progressive con men tried to rip off your last hope of keeping them in check.
Ted Trimpa and Arash Moselah a tip of the hat for Halloween and a great Thanksgiving.
Greg Hollenback, the Modern Eater. Sheik I never stopped to thank you.