OPINION

By the time you read this I’m sure you’ve already voted or are about to head to the polls and vote in person. Have you gone through this listening to or reading how outfits like The Denver Post, Colorado Sun, or any hot air pro Republican talk show host in Denver putting on their editorial page or website who they think you should vote for.

Doesn’t it sound like they think you’re too stupid to do the work yourself? You’re too dumb to know who to vote for or, better yet, who the hell are these people to tell you how to vote. It’s really a free political ad for the group of people that have screwed this state up so badly in the last 30 years that they think you’ve become stupid enough that you want them to continue.

The late Alan Berg, a real political sage once said on his show, “I don’t vote. Because it only encourages them.”

I think there’s tremendous truth in what Alan said. I had a conversation about Soviet voting. If you read Soviet history, Khrushchev and others always bragged about how the Soviets could vote. And when you do some reading you discover they voted by not voting. Example, Ivan the Agricultural Commissar in the Ukraine is doing a lousy job so none of the factory workers or farmers would go vote and hence the Communist Party would know that people were unhappy or displeased with his performance and unless he was a really entrenched upper Russki they would get rid of him and you would get a new Commissar. Can you see where I’m going with this?

What’s the difference between any of these people? And why is the city of Denver and state of Colorado sliding downhill rapidly?

And so, I urge you not to vote. Stay away from these people. Don’t go near them. Back in the ’60s and ’70s on college campuses and anti-war demonstrations, guys held up their draft cards and burned them. Later we found out a lot of them were just burning their social security cards. They weren’t really doing it but thought of themselves as brave antiwar demonstrators. So, let’s all get together, have a big rally, and hold up your mail-in ballot and light them puppies on fire. That’ll show them. Seeing Michael Bennet’s name turned to ash. Because if he wins, and I certainly believe he will, he’ll continue to turn you into the same thing.

When we all watch the results coming in on election day, remember I wrote this here in the Chronicle. Why is it that every two- or four-years people show up on your television screens endorsed by radio hosts and newspaper columns, and then two or four years later, you’re so pissed off after these people promised you how things are going to change. In the words of Elton John in Honky Cat, “the change is gonna do you good.”

In all seriousness, why do you celebrate an election outcome only to be terribly angry two or four years later at the results of the last one? Stay home. Stay safe.

— Peter Boyles

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