A User’s Guide To Navigating DIA During The Busy Winter Months
“I’m one of those people at the airport holding a pillow like a little kid.”
- Rachel Platten
by Luke Schmaltz
Every holiday season, in the far northeast corner of gerrymandered Denver County, Denver International Airport bustles like a series of big top circus tents swarming with activity. Somewhere around the beginning of November through the new year, this hub of hustle begins to sing with every possible tone of neurosis brought on by the madness that is inherent to holiday travel.
Thousands of Denver residents, in their obligatory impetus to see their loved ones every year, scramble out of bed during the wee hours, grab their luggage, and head out to what may unfold as a day without incident or — more likely — an experience that reads like a migraine-inducing travel nightmare. The problems begin when you get in the car and head toward Peña Boulevard and can continue to the security lines, the concourses, and beyond. Thankfully, there are a few steps you can take for navigating this gauntlet of woe which may help your excursion to be a tolerable one at the very least.
Get There For Cheap
Real Estate entrepreneur Tyson Murray has figured out the hassle-free secrets to DIA travel.
Denver realtor and onetime DIA bartender Tyson Murray offers a few insider tips from a guy who used to commute to the airport multiple times a week for several years. He emphasizes the importance of not driving as a means of saving time and money while avoiding unnecessary stress. “Driving to DIA sucks,” he attests. “It’s expensive to park there, and as of late, there have been a rash of car thefts and break-ins in the parking lots. The train is cheap ($10.50 each way), reliable, always on time, and super easy. It’s 35 minutes from Union Station to DIA,” he says. Additionally, it is important to note that due to staffing shortages related to the Covid-19 pandemic, the Mt. Elbert and Pikes Peak shuttle parking remain closed.
Connect With Ease
Folks who are willing to forgo the autonomy of driving their own car can discover a respite of convenience amid the headaches of traffic and parking. “Going to DIA has never been easier in my opinion,” Murray explains. “I love taking the Light Rail from Union Station. I love that building and I’ll take any excuse to hang out there for a few minutes.” Murray also offers a valuable tidbit about circumventing long security lines. “If you disembark from the Light Rail at the South Entrance and South Security Check line, take the extra five minutes to walk to the NORTH Security Check line — it’s usually less crowded. Or, if you don’t mind walking an extra half mile or so, go upstairs to the Pedestrian Bridge security and catch the train from Terminal A if you need to go to Terminals B or C. Also, usually much faster.”
Arrive Far In Advance
Murray also urges travelers to be extra vigilant with their timelines. “Get there early,” he exclaims. “I’m the guy who would rather be an hour early than 10 minutes late, So, I always go at least a half hour before I need to, which means getting to the airport two or so hours before my flight boards. It just takes away any stress or anxiety if there are delays in security or service, which there will be. And it leaves ample time for the obligatory airport Bloody Mary.”
Keep It Together
The Denver International Airport awaits travelers like a big-top circus tent brimming with barely-controlled chaos.
Meanwhile, the manager of DIA’s Tapas Sky Bar and Little Man Ice Cream — Zeth Pedulla — offers a few critical insider tips for a positive DIA experience. Primarily, he stresses the importance of keeping your head together and avoiding a compromised mindset which can result in rude, inconsiderate behavior toward airport employees. “Don’t get shit-faced hammered. That’s rule number one,” he says. “There is absolutely too much going on these days at the airport for you to be smashed. There are four bars on Concourse C from where you get off the train and where I am at (Tapas Sky Bar). I know that there can be delays but pace yourself. My staff and I have to not serve or cut people off all the time. This is where you see people lose their shit. There are several types of security that work at DIA, and they are just waiting for something to happen. I have seen everything from DPD refusing to let people on their flights all the way to TSA saying you’re not ever flying again. Ouch!”
Remember How To Read
DIA travelers can experience problems when they succumb to rudeness, drunkenness, drug use, illiteracy, and nudity.
Wandering around in circles at DIA happens when people panic and fail to be able to read large print English on signs posted everywhere. Pedulla cites this as one of the most common tells of a person having a bad day at the airport. “Some travelers become over-stimulated by all the hustle and noise, and they forget the fundamental skill of finding their way by reading signs,” he says. “There is signage everywhere indicating where the restrooms are. It’s the same for the terminals and baggage claim. There are signs at least every 20 feet or so telling you where to go.”
Keep Your Shirt On
Pedulla goes on to explain how the hysteria inherent to holiday travel can really take a toll on some people — eliciting terrible, outrageous, unbelievable behavior. “All the time, I have entitled people tell me ‘I need service now because I have a plane to catch!’” Pedulla says, “Guess what? Everyone has a plane to catch. DIA bars are designed to be fast. Everyone gets served in order so just be cool and you will be served in a timely manner.” Rude behavior from bar and restaurant patrons can escalate to other odd activities which can permanently hinder someone’s travel plans. “I have gotten pretty close with the cops out here and boy, do they tell some stories.” Pedulla explains. “Drug use in bathrooms is a big one. Everything from people getting caught shooting heroin to smoking meth. Nudity happens more than you would think. The one that gets me the most is when people try to jump security to get to their plane. Why in the hell would you think that’s a smart idea?”
Sure, there are plenty of things that can obstruct your path to the skyway at DIA. But, if you plan far in advance and keep a level head, you just might make your destination without getting lost, getting arrested or otherwise embarrassing yourself. Bon voyage.