I don’t know about you but this has been the most profound year of my life. The life lessons that I have experienced have truly been like nothing that I have ever witnessed before. Without question I have felt both sides of every situation and scenario you can imagine — personally, professionally, physically and emotionally. I’ve felt more confident than ever and I’ve been unsure about everything, I received more love than I thought was humanly possible and I’ve never been so alone. I discovered sides of me that I love and cherish and sides of me I never want to see again.
I’ve learned we are all doing the same thing, running the same race and facing the same life challenges. We’re all just trying to make our way through this life as humans, fallible human beings. We are people who depend and rely on each other in various capacities, physically, financially, and emotionally. We do and should expect a certain amount of safety from those with whom we associate in our romantic and platonic relationships.
So, undoubtedly as humans, we all will be let down by someone else’s actions, or by someone exercising their free will, if you will. The will, or need for someone to do something or fulfill something burning inside of them, may affect others’ lives because of their actions. The outcome of someone exercising their humanly free will can be positive or negative depending on the perception of the affected recipient(s).
You, me, us, the recipients, can either understand each other as humans. People are emotionally driven and on any given day we can be happy, sad, healthy, sick, loving, twisted, functional, crazy, you name it… If the emotion exists, you’re not excluded from feeling it.
Here’s where logic can trump emotion and will save you a lot of aggravation and heartache if you break it down in its most simplistic form. It is up to me/you to decide what and who works best in our human lives. It is up to us to seek intimacy and true reality and it is up to us to be actively in charge of our mental and physical health. We must not allow shallow relationships that are based on others reframing our reality by projecting perceptions of euphoria that cater to telling us what we want to hear. Humans have a tendency to do this so that their free will isn’t questioned, judged or challenged.
You, my friends, have the free will to be and conduct yourself in any fashion you desire and do whatever it is that makes you happy without my scrutiny or judgment. All I ask in return is that you offer me unfiltered, unfettered, unencumbered reality so that I can base what capacity you fit in my life.
Let’s face it, if you’re single and actively dating you are dealing with strangers. Strangers who may or may not have your best interest in mind and could potentially turn your life upside down, and most of the time we allow it. We, more often than not, like to give people the benefit of the doubt and sometimes look past things because we refuse to believe people don’t act or react to certain situations. We put it all out there in the manner we would and when they don’t, it’s letdown city. They may not have done anything wrong or they didn’t mean any harm by telling a little white lie, but it hurts nonetheless because we may expect a certain outcome that we’ve created in our minds.
Do me a favor and try this… Try to open up your mind when you’re dating. Allow people to be human, allow them to be comfortable with how they act and what they say. Be more forgiving and understanding to their plight in life instead of yours. Get to know the people you’re dating for who they are, the more comfortable they are the less likely they will feel the need to tell you what you want to hear instead of what they want to say. Watch their actions and listen closely to what they have to say and base if you want to continue your association with them by who they are, not who you want them to be. Stay true to yourself and your needs first, and who knows, if it doesn’t work out you may have just gained a friend, a friend you actually know for who they are!
As a side note: As you may or may not know I have created The Modern Dater Club and it is shaping up nicely! The Modern Dater Club is exclusive to singles who want to go on preplanned excursions with other singles that are created and hosted by me. If you want more information about The Modern Dater Club and how you can become a part of it you can contact me directly at themoderndater@gmail.com. Don’t forget to tune into my dating related radio show every Saturday evening at 7 p.m. on 630 KHOW or grab the podcasts on www. themoderndater.com.
Your pal, Sheik!
