Bring Home To Mom Check List

Bring Home To Mom Check List

Happy extended family having family lunch on a Thanksgiving day.  [url=http://www.istockphoto.com/search/lightbox/9786778][img]http://dl.dropbox.com/u/40117171/family.jpg[/img][/url]

It’s that time of year daters! That’s right the holidays are here and you have to decide if anyone you’re dating is worthy of meeting your family. Let’s face it, some people are dateable but have no business being introduced to your family. We all know how judgmental family can be and for some reason bringing someone home to meet mom is taken very seriously. I thought I would help out by creating a little check list for you that you can use as a guideline to determine if your date will be eating drumsticks with Aunt Marge or if you should just plan to meet for drinks after your turkey dinner. My rule is not to bring anyone to meet the family unless you’re in a committed relationship but other people are more daring than I so here goes…

  1. First impressions are everything and remember how judgmental family is. Make sure your date doesn’t ooze sex appeal. You don’t want the whispers behind your back from the women in your family centered on speculating if you’re dating a stripper (even if she is) or not and you don’t want the men in your family hitting on her or making sexual innuendo.
  2. Make sure your date can hold a conversation. There is nothing worse than bringing a date to a family function and all they do is smile, chuckle occasionally and give one word responses when someone addresses them. There is pressure around meeting someone’s family so just make sure in advance that they don’t mind having conversation with judgmental strangers.
  3. Do not bring a level 3 clinger home to meet the fam. If your date has to be attached to your hip in order to be comfortable or to avoid having conversation with your drunken uncle it would be in your best interest not to bring them. If your date can’t let you do your thing your family will automatically determine you have a smotherer on your hands who is going to control your life.
  4. Do not bring a date that has no problem downing a bottle of wine before dinner even starts. If your date gets all boozed up there is a good chance something could go wrong, very wrong. Like telling your mom that their ex just got released from jail and is trying to find them.
  5. Do not bring someone home that can’t put their phone down to save their life. It’s bad enough being on a date with someone who is on their phone all the time texting, checking email, whatever, but your mom will flat out tell them to get off their phone and put it away. The last thing you need is your mom upset because your date is rude.
  6. Bring a date that is not afraid to be helpful or get involved. If you are dating someone and you know they are lazy it would be best if you left them behind. The best quality your date could possibly have in a meet the family situation is being helpful. Need help in the kitchen? Want help with the dishes? Is there anything I can do to help? These are all sentences your date should be capable of saying.
  7. Make sure your date has a job or is doing something productive with their time. Unemployed dates are about as unappealing to families as using the bathroom after your dad. Inevitably your date will be asked what they do for a living and if they don’t do squat they will be treated like they have leprosy for the remainder of the evening.
  8. Bring a date that is socially aware and that will talk but know what to say. Nothing worse than bringing a date that wants to prove to your family that they know you better than your family does. There are some things that your family doesn’t need to know about you.

If you follow those guidelines you should be fairly safe and have a good time. In fact let me suggest that you cut this article out of the paper and have your potential date read this and agree that they can live up to these standards to ensure there will be no problems. I will even provide a small agreement for them to sign at the bottom.

I ____________________ agree to the terms and conditions that I have just read and promise I will abide by the preceding guidelines set forth by the Sheik to ensure I won’t embarrass you in front of your family at Thanksgiving dinner.

Signed ____________________________

Date    ______________________________

Happy Thanksgiving!

Your pal, Sheik

Dishing It Out

Dishing It Out

Dishing Carve Ribs 11-15  Dishing Carve Pulled Pork 11-15

Right On ’Que: Sizzling

Carve BBQ Opening In Glendale

New Eatery From Southern Concepts To Add Fire In Belly Of Valley’s Dining Crowd

So you’re looking for that next great eating odyssey. Food you crave that’s guaranteed to satisfy your hunger. A renegade wave of new eateries is opening in Glendale and Denver with Texas-size ambitions and creative swagger that’s turning the Valley into the next great dining destination and barbeque is just the beginning.

Carving out a laid-back local hot spot in Glendale is Southern Concepts Restaurants Group’s fast casual barbeque concept Carve Barbeque opening Nov. 5 in the 1000 S. Colorado Blvd. shopping plaza. To celebrate the opening Carve will donate 10 percent of all sales to the Denver Rescue Mission during grand opening day. In addition, the first 25 guests to arrive on grand opening day will receive free Carve for one year. It is the first barbeque eatery from the Colorado Springs-based group that owns and manages three fulDishing Carve Barbeque 11-15l-service restaurants in the market. “Carve is different than your traditional pit barbeque restaurant — it is barbeque without boundaries,” explains Mitchell Roth, Southern Concept’s CEO. “We will be setting ourselves apart by choosing only the finest quality, all-natural meats.”

Customers will walk down the food line in the contemporary eatery where they choose from four styles — naked, salad, sandwich or street taco — plus meat garnishments. The eatery will serve pork, chicken, brisket, ribs plus prime rib, all natural wood-smoked. The fresh sides will range from traditional options like coleslaw, to barbecue pico de gallo and charred corn salad. Craft brews and local wines will be available. Information: 303-756-3356.

Eatery Explosion

There are a multitude of new eateries open or scheduled to open as the holidays near. Newly opened in Glendale is Noodle Fresh offering Asian Street Tacos, Ramen bowls plus create-your-own noodle bowls. Information: 303-757-0145. Also now open is Telegraph Bistro & Bar in the Wash Park neighborhood at 295 S. Pennsylvania. It features a menu of seasonal New American cuisine emDishing Noodle Fresh 11-15phasizing fresh seafood and vegetables. Information: 720-440-9846.

The Blue Island Oyster Bar — sister restaurant to Golden’s Table Mountain Inn eatery — has opened in Cherry Creek’s 250 Columbine project. Along with oysters from the restaurant’s own New York oyster farm, you can dine on lobster rolls, caviar, crudos, burgers, fresh fish, chowders and salads. Information: 303-333-2462.

Additional restaurants yet to open include Matsuhisa Cherry Creek, scheduled to open by year’s end in the Creek’s Steele Creek Apartment building; Del Frisco’s Grille — the casual sibling to Del Frisco’s — is opening a space in the new First Bank Building in Cherry Creek boasting a rooftop patio and an upscale bar. The menu will include prime-grade steaks, pristine seafood and two-fisted sandwiches and flatbreads. Finally, SOL Mexican Cocina is also opening in the 250 Columbine project. It will focus on the coastal cuisine of the Baja coast. The menu will range from various guacamoles to seafood dishes, street tacos, and bigger entree plates.

A Voter’s Dilemma: DPS Board At Large Candidates

A Voter’s Dilemma: DPS Board At Large Candidates

Robert Speth v. Happy Haynes

Editorial - Happy Haynes 11-15 On November 3 there will be an off year election here in Denver for which there is little excitement except over the endless attempts to get Denver taxpayers to pay for everything from redoing the stock show grounds to paying for the college education of the political elite’s kids and those belonging to politically favored groups.

But there is one hotly contested elective office fight and that concerns three positions on the seven person Denver Public School Board. The most interesting is the at large contest between current DPS Board President Allegra “Happy” Haynes and Robert Speth, a senior strategic account manager for Sprint.

The race boils down to corporate oriented reformers versus teacher union supporters as it does in almost all DPS elections. Corporate oriented reformers presently control six of the seven positions with the sole teacher union supporter Arturo Jimenez not running for re-election.

Challenger Robert Speth appears to be a highly intelligent individual with a wife and two children in the Denver Public system at Valdez Elementary School in northwest Denver. His campaign slogan is “A Parent. Not a Politician.”

For those not in the know, his opponent, 62-year-old Happy Haynes, is a lifelong politician who has never had children, much less one in the Denver Public Schools. Some of her opponents have long claimed that she does not even really live in Denver. She is, in fact, is perhaps one of the strangest and least qualified presidents of a school board in the country.

Haynes was recently handed the high paying city job of executive director of the Denver Parks Department by longtime political ally Mayor Michael Hancock without interviewing a single other candidate and halting the national search to help locate qualified individuals for the position. Her appointment was widely condemned across almost all political spectrums with park advocates pointing out she had absolutely no background or qualifications for the post. But being unqualified for a job under the Hancock Administration is not deemed an impediment as long as you are politically connected to the mayor.

She has also refused to resign as school board president to take the Parks Department position saying that during the day she would be head of Parks and a DPS president at night. Good government types have pointed that she has endless conflicts of interest between her two jobs. As president of the DPS she previously spearheaded the partial destruction of Hentzell Park to benefit the building of a new school. Okay for DPS, but a disaster for the park. The utterly spineless Denver Ethics Board, however, blessed her having the two jobs at once. What is all the more amazing about Haynes holding two jobs at once is that Haynes is not known for being a particularly hard worker. In all her time on Denver City Council she did not have a single accomplishment. She is best remembered by her fellow councilmembers as a person who failed to return almost every telephone call from her constituents. Incumbency in Denver is such a powerful force that once you are elected it is almost impossible to be voted out even if you, like Ms. Haynes, stiff-arm the people who put you in office.

Perhaps because she never had any children herself she has shown almost no actual interest in Denver’s school kids. She has been little more than a rubber stamp for literally every proposal of controversial DPS Superintendent Tom Boasberg and the corporate backers of Mayor Hancock.

Ms. Haynes’ primary attribute for her entire adult life appears to be having a politically connected mother, Jo Anne Haynes, and fortuitously being nicknamed by her mother at an early age “Happy.” Who wouldn’t want to vote for someone named Happy.

Ms. Haynes appears to recognize that her primary qualification to any job is her nickname as all of her yard signs simply say “Happy!” not dissimilar to Republican presidential candidate John Ellis Bush’s campaign signs simply saying “Jeb!”

Our primary concern with Robert Speth is that we do not agree with his strategy for improving Denver schools, including severely limiting charter schools and choice in the Denver school system. He wants teachers limited to those who are “certified” and wants teachers promoted based on seniority. By straitjacketing the choice that a parent has in Denver to a “neighborhood school” you make the Denver Public Schools even less attractive than they are now and cause more parents to abandon the public school system.

However, we are also cognizant that the majority of the school board will be pro-reform no matter the results of this election. Having no dissenting voices on the DPS School Board is not a good idea. Superintendent Boasberg has grown ever more arrogant and self important over the years and there needs to be at least one voice that will act as query to the actions of the school administrators.

We may not agree with some of the positions of Robert Speth but he is at least a very concerned and intelligent DPS parent whose decisions on the Board will directly affect his own children. Happy Haynes is a lifetime politician who has repeatedly shown her only interest is what is good for Happy Haynes. Moreover voting for Speth is also at least one clear symbolic vote against the corruption that has overtaken Denver City Hall.

— Editorial Board

Turkey Tech Time @ Thanksgiving

Turkey Tech Time @ Thanksgiving

Ahh, Thanksgiving: A time to reflect on all that is good in our lives and express gratitude for it. A holiday to celebrate life properly stuffed with relevancy and technology. With an Internet connection and a search engine, anyone can be a top turkey these days. Furthermore, on the Web we can discover and learn new things.

Great gobblin’ gadgets: The @ sign is now the season’s symbol. In 1863 when Lincoln declared the holiday, photography was the most radical technology to be had.

Here are our source code choices for shopping, dining and entertainment to help you think technology, turkey and thankfulness while feasting on bits and bytes:

3          Cinema has championed some of the most awe-inspiring technologies in visual arts. See 200 titles during the Denver Film Festival at the Sie Film Center and at the Ellie, Nov. 4-15. Information: 303-595-3464.

3          You won’t see old tintypes but there’s a photo tribute to the Who at Robert Anderson Gallery, Nov. 6-Jan. 2. Information: 303-388-1332.

3          Enjoy pageantry, music and classic flair at Opera Colorado’s Aida playing Nov. 7-15 at the Ellie, 7:30 p.m., Sun. 2 p.m. Information: 303-698-2334.

3          Featuring a central location and select merchandise this year’s Mile High Holiday Mart is Nov. 13-15 at DU’s Gates Field House. The Junior League event is a shopping extravaganza. Information: 303-692-0270.

3          Whether you crave holiday choices or local favorites, the entire family can feast affordably at the Monaco Inn. Information: 303-320-1104.

3          Recycle the leaves gathering outside at the Cherry Creek Transfer Station 8 a.m.-2 p.m., weekends 11 a.m.-3 p.m. Information: 720-913-1311.

3          Keep those tech toys plus watches and autos charging with batteries from newly opened Battery Giant @ 6th and Grant. Information: 303-832-1454.

3          Make plans to take in the 39th edition of Central City Opera’s L’Esprit de Noel Nov. 20-21. Considered Denver’s signature holiday event, this Year’s walking tour will feature homes in Denver’s historic Country Club neighborhood beautifully decorated by local florists and table designers. The homes are in the area first developed as a residential neighborhood in the early 1900s. The earliest homes were built on Franklin Street. The tour features some of these historic homes, which have been updated for modern family lifestyles. Information: 303-292-6500, ext. 114.

This month you are likely thinking ahead about the details of your Thanksgiving Day. Whether you are making travel plans, emailing relatives about dinner reservations, or planning your shopping list and holiday meal, using your tablet can serve as one place to consolidate all needs and preparations to keep things organized and streamlined.

There’s talk today about how technology separates us. Families gather around the table to eat together but end up giving gadgets more attention than they do each other.

However using the technology can also bring us closer together. Skype and others give us the opportunity to talk face to face with friends and loved ones, no matter where they are in the world. With a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone, people are leveraging tech devices to ease holiday stress versus using fowl language.

— Glen Richardson

The Valley Gadfly can be reached at newspaper@glendalecherrycreek.com.