by Mark Smiley | Feb 29, 2016 | Feature Story Bottom Left
Here I am, 43-years-old, never been married and I don’t have any kids. When I was 30 that bachelor status was cool, in fact, it was a positive selling point when it came to my bachelor résumé. Now fast forward 13 years. That very same status that I wore as a badge of honor has become “there must be something wrong with this guy.” “He must have commitment problems.” “His window to have kids has closed.” “Greg is going to be a lifelong bachelor.”
How did my superior bachelor status not change, yet go from being cool to creepy? How did my not having baggage turn into BEING my baggage?
Time did it, that’s how. The only thing that changed is I am older now. That’s all, my age has changed. Just like the movie Back to the Future, what kind of advice would the 43-year-old Greg give to the 30-year-old Greg if I could fire up the Flux Capacitor in the ol’ DeLorean and travel back in time?
The answer to that question is… A lot! Here are the top words of wisdom I would offer to my younger self.
- Don’t be Captain Save-a-ho! For some reason I have spent most of my adult life trying to heal wounded women. If there was one time killer that took up a huge chunk of my “viable” years it would probably be choosing to engage with ladies that were in a different period in their life than I.
- Know when to call it good! Uncle, I give up. I wish I would have said that more. I wish I had so much of the time I wasted trying to make bad good. It’s a common mistake. I think people naturally don’t want to just throw something away they have put effort into. In retrospect, I think you will agree it takes much more effort to keep a relationship on life support alive than it is to cultivate a new one.
- Be more selfish! Don’t take this the wrong way. I’m not saying not to be kind to people and be generous, quite the contrary. I am saying stay true to your basic needs, that make you happy and who you are, and don’t let anyone EVER chisel away at that, especially in the name of “love.” True love would always want the best for you and encourage you to find happiness within yourself and allow you to feed the hunger and that which you crave.
- Go get what you want! So often I have been my worst enemy and have sabotaged myself romantically. I know the “type” of woman that would be great for me and I know what I’m attracted to. So why wouldn’t I focus and go get that woman? Probably because when I think about what a great woman that would be I start to doubt that she would want a guy like me. Self-doubt can be a huge stunt to achievement and growth.
- Don’t be afraid to be alone! The pros and cons to being alone. The pros: you are light on your feet, you can be open to a good situation if it presents itself, you don’t have to answer to anyone, and you can date multiple people and see what works best for you. The cons: you’re alone.
- Trust your gut! I’m telling you, gut feelings are usually spot on. If you are in a situation that just doesn’t seem or feel right … it probably isn’t. Don’t waste time on people that have no room in your future.
- Know when you’ve reached Mecca! Grass isn’t always greener on the other side. When you find someone that makes you happy and who promotes your growth in a positive way hold on to them. Life isn’t about giving someone your time; it’s about finding someone you enjoy spending your time with.
It’s crazy how time can work for and against you. Trust me when I tell you it’s better to have time on your side. I know I’m not 100-years-old yet but my window for what I want is narrowing and I never thought it would. I am full on single right now so it should be interesting what the next few years have in store for me. I am going to do everything in my power to be the best person I can be to hopefully attract the kind of woman I desire. The time to date smartly is now, for all of us. Keep it real out there!
Your pal, the Sheik
by Mark Smiley | Feb 29, 2016 | Travel
by Megan Carthel
According to the United Nations, one in three women will be beaten or raped in their lifetime, and for the past four years many of those women in Colorado showed up at One Billion Rising, a rally against violence toward women.
One Billion Rising is the largest mass action to end and bring awareness to violence against women. The name comes from the statistic of one-in-three. With the world’s population, that totals one billion women who will be beaten or victims of rape. One Billion Rising is leading the initiative to not only make victims survivors, but for violence to no longer be a threat to women.
Each year has had a theme, and this year was centered around the idea of revolution. This year’s rally focused on marginalized women, a call for people to rise for others and international issues such as human trafficking. Here in Colorado, Caitlin Brozna-Smith and her company Bella Diva Dance organized the event. For her, the initiative is personal. Three years ago, just as One Billion Rising was getting started, one of her dancers was almost fatally shot by her ex-fiancé.
“We’re going to rally for our dancer, and we’re going to come together and stand up saying this is not okay,” Brozna-Smith said.
On Valentine’s Day this year, over 200
women, men, girls and boys of all ages gathered to hear stories of survivors of rape and domestic abuse. They danced and marched around Denver to raise awareness. Dancing, Brozna-Smith said, is way of expressing unashamed emotion and reclaiming a sense of confidence. Activists and participants across the world dance the same dance on the same day to bring awareness. Brozna-Smith and Bella Diva Dance put a global spin on it, pulling dancing techniques from Bollywood, belly dancing and dance techniques from around the world.
“People are using their bodies because that’s what was violated.”
Bella Diva Dance has been a participant in One Billion Rising ever since one of their own was a victim of domestic violence, but this is Brozna-Smith’s first year heading the rally.
“It’s been very moving in terms of how many people who you actually get to discover this is happening to, and I think it’s something that needs to be talked about more,” Brozna-Smith said.
Tangi Lancaster and her husband Stephan w
ere both victims of abuse and attended the One Billion Rising rally in Denver. As parents of boys, they feel a need to teach them about body awareness and the power of “no.”
“When they say no, no means no, and I think that starts at a very young age. And we need to engrain that,” Tangi said. “When they do get older and they are around other children who no doesn’t mean no, they can be an advocate, and that’s really why I like to bring them too. So that they know they have a voice, and that they know how to use it.”
For Stephan, he’s there to support his wife and the other billion women who’ve experienced abuse — their entire family wearing matching shirts.
“I know that having my wife at the end of the day having us all dancing together, supporting her, her making these shirts, us all wearing them and me proudly wearing it — I think that’s the part for me that makes me feel good,” Stephan said. “She knows that I’m there for her, and she knows that she’s protected for sure. I would never let anybody ever hurt her again.”
Brozna-Smith wants more men like Stephan to be involved. She said until more men get involved, domestic violence will continue to be a women’s issue. Katee Valverde attended the rally as a victim and survivor. Standing up against violence, toward either gender, is something she feels passionate about.
“I’m here because I’m one in three. I’ve been abused, victimized. I’ve been assaulted. And it’s time to not be quiet anymore,” Valverde said. “It’s too many victims. It doesn’t matter what gender. They’re victims.”
Domestic violence is a prevalent issue around the globe and in Colorado. According to the National Coalition against Domestic Violence, 16,700 people reported at least one domestic violence crime in 2014, and 25 Coloradans were killed by their current or former intimate partners. In a more staggering statistic, the NCADV found that 1,018 people were abducted by current or former intimate partners in 2014, and half of those were abducted by current or former dating partners.
by Mark Smiley | Feb 29, 2016 | Editorials
In the Denver Municipal Election last spring, seven new members were elected to the 13 member Denver City Council. New members Wayne New, Paul Kashmann and Rafael Espinoza were able to win with neighborhood activist support over candidates lavishly funded by real estate developers and lobbyists as well as support from Mayor Hancock. However, conversely Stacie Gilmore and Kendra Black won with strong support from these corrupting elements and are viewed as simply bought and paid for hacks who are never expected to cast a vote other than as instructed by the developers and the Mayor. However, the last two new members, Kevin Flynn and Jolon Clark, while they took developer and lobbyist money, they also had some neighborhood support and were not considered lost causes. Unfortunately none of the six returning council members are viewed favorably by reform groups.
The big question for many was whether New, Kashmann and Espinoza would simply sell out once in office. The preliminary indications after seven months is that they have not and in addition, Flynn and Clark are showing some actual independence from the Mayor’s office on some important votes.
The citizens have even managed to win on a vote about a development project in front of the City Council in large part because it took 10 votes to rezone a property and the proponent Emmaus Lutheran Church managed to get only eight votes. New, Kashmann, Espinoza and Clark all voted “No.” Of course Emmaus Lutheran Church is not a deep pocketed developer like Peter Kudla with an army of lobbyists. Moreover by the old system of so called “courtesy voting” the project would have lost 12 to 0 because the project was in West Highland neighborhood represented by Espinoza. But since the pro neighborhood members were elected the concept has been abandoned regarding their neighborhoods which are some of the most valuable to developers in the city.
It was not an easy vote for the conscientious Espinoza since it involved a church that wanted to transform property zoned for single family homes into a medical facility and not the normal massive apartment high-rise, but he stuck to his principles. Espinoza and Clark even voted against the Mayor’s taxpayer rip off $8.6 million affordable housing bonds that cause the city to lose money while enriching the mayor’s rich backers.
It is at least encouraging that the Denver City Council does have some ethical and honorable members who have to date at any rate not disappointed their backers. So there is still hope in the Queen City of the Plains for the neighborhoods and their honest inhabitants.
— Editorial Board
by Mark Smiley | Jan 29, 2016 | Editorials
As the Clinton email brouhaha has demonstrated, the discovery process in civil litigation often uncovers government secrets and documents which otherwise escape public scrutiny from virtually any other method. In Denver, residents have often been mystified and confused how real estate projects actually get approved by Denver City Council even when overwhelmingly opposed by residents.
In theory the process is supposed to work as follows. A project is submitted to the Denver Community and Development Department whose staff gives a thorough review to be sure it complies with all applicable zoning and planning requirements. The staff is headed by a scrupulously honest professional and experienced executive director who gives a sharp eye to any requests for rezoning, variances or waivers. The community then gets its chance at a public hearing. A wholly citizen 11 person Planning Board is supposed to advise the mayor and the City Council on land use matters including planning and zoning. After the citizen Planning Board gives its recommendations concerning the project it proceeds to the City Council. The individual council members are supposed to be impartial judges acting in a “quasi-judicial” capacity. What they know about the development project is supposed to be what is summed up in the publicly available reports of the Planning Board and what they are told the night of the hearing including the comments of the developer and the members of the community.
Nothing of what is outlined above actually happens in Denver. The “cone of silence” between the City Council members and developer of a project and opponents to that project only occurs once a project has actually been submitted to the Denver Community and Development Department. Thus developers first fill the campaign coffers of the applicable council member. The developer then sits down with the applicable council member and gets his/her approval and any changes the council member may want, all before the public even knows there is a project. Once the project is filed is often the first time residents have heard of the project. But their council member then refuses to meet with them saying it would be legally improper for him or her to discuss a submitted projected as they are required by law to be wholly impartial and prohibited by law from meeting with citizens ex parte.
Thus projects are submitted by savvy developers to the Denver Community Planning and Development Department only after the fix is already in. The Executive Director of the Denver Planning Department is Brad Buchanan, an architect turned developer of whom it is often said is wholly void of any ethics or personal propriety. The 11 member citizen Planning Board has been stacked by Mayor Hancock with pro-developer advocates who almost never pay any heed to anything the residents of affected neighborhoods have to say at their public meetings.
The night comes for the City Council to consider a crooked project and the citizens actually get to, in theory, address the City Council themselves. Unbeknownst to many citizens the Denver City C
ouncil over 30 years ago secretly adopted the so-called “courtesy zoning rule” whereby they will all (or almost all for sake of appearances) vote exactly the same as the council member whose district a project is in. This allows the savvy developer to save a great deal of money only having to convince/bribe a single council member while members of the public erroneously think they must have to convince a majority of the City Council.
Of course it takes months for a project to go from submission to the Planning Department to the night of City Council consideration. Economics and other facts change over time. The developer needs to get the council member whose district the project is in to do him additional favors and considerations during this time period concerning his project. But the “cone of silence” rule that keeps the public at bay from the council member legally applies equally to the developer and his lobbyists.
What does the savvy developer and the bought and paid for council member do? The citizens who brought the lawsuit captioned Whitelaw v. The Denver City Council 2015cv032427 in Denver District Court concerning the City Council’s approval of the Mount Gilead project at Crestmoor found out through legal discovery. The answer is, of course, they cheat.
The very high density apartment project was wildly unpopular and required a rezoning in apparent direct contradiction with the city’s master plan called Blueprint Denver. Close coordination between the developer and the key Councilwoman Mary Beth Susman was apparently deemed necessary no matter how illegal. The plaintiffs in discovery demanded all correspondence including e-mails between the council-woman and the developer or its lobbyists post the filing of the project with the Planning Department. The response — not a thing, nada.
The lawyers for the residents, Gibson, Dunn & Crutcher, however, wondered what was good for former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton might be good enough for Councilwoman Susman, i.e. a private email account on which public business would be conducted free from public open records requests and scrutiny. With some incredible legal sleuthing the lawyers found out that Susman did in fact have a separate Gmail account on which city business was conducted. The Denver City Attorney’s Office already accused and shown to have been engaged in unethical conduct regarding the Denver Jail lawsuits decided not to risk their law licenses and this time produced the voluminous e-mail correspondence post project filing between the councilwoman and the developers’ lobbyists directly concerning the Mount Gilead project.
The lawsuit is in front of Denver District Court Judge Shelly I. Gilman. If she is half the jurist that Federal District Court Judge John Kane is, who oversaw the Denver Jail lawsuits, heads will roll. It is highly unlikely that Ms. Susman is the only city council member who has engaged in such apparent illegal conduct. It will be the job of Judge Gilman to follow the ancient Roman maxim of law “Fiat Justitia Ruat Caelum” — “Let Justice Be Done Though the Heavens Fall.”
— Editorial Board
