by Luke Schmaltz | Apr 23, 2021 | Main Articles
“An old building is like a show. You smell the soul of an old building. And the building tells you how to redo it.” – Cameron Mackintosh
by Luke Schmaltz
Casa Bonita stands shuttered alongside West Colfax like a circus gelding locked in a corral for which there is no key. First opened in 1974, the one-of-a-kind survivor from a bygone era is a testament to the optimism, pageantry and imagination of the previous century. But alas, it is currently silent as a result of COVID-19.
The Pink Palace is in the red. This 85-foot, 22-karat-gold domed tower can be seen for miles around.
As it was for most other Colorado restaurants, the mandatory order to close in March of 2020 was a crippling blow. Rather than partially reopen in May of 2020, Casa Bonita management chose to forgo the near-impossible strictures that social distancing would have placed on an entertainment concept built on human interaction.
Finally, more than a year later, there are rumblings of reopening — and a notice on the restaurant’s website confirms these murmurs. Yet, if there’s anything the last year has taught people, it is to not believe everything you read online. This is why a group of Denver residents and longtime natives who have lasting memories of this cherished institution are not going to take the possible death of fun sitting down.
Locals To The Rescue
Savecasabonita.org is a recently-launched initiative intent on spreading awareness of the cultural and historical importance of 52,000-square-foot restaurant, Casa Bonita. Led by Denver icon and Casa Bonita superfan Andrew Novick, this collective of innovators and entrepreneurs represents a larger segment of the Mile High populace that feels this beloved destination deserves another chance. “We have a large group of people in our consortium,” Novick begins. “The group we put together is made up of restaurateurs, folks who have built businesses from the ground up and branding experts. One of our people is a Latina businesswoman and we’ve talked a lot about the food and the cultural appropriation of Casa Bonita. The last thing we want to do is be a bunch of white men running a Mexican restaurant.”
Proponents don’t want Casa Bonita to suffer the fate of The Miner in Black Bart’s Cave. Photo by Andrew Novick
An Unforgettable Experience
For those who have never been there, a visit to Casa Bonita is an immersion into experiential art, culture, kitsch and otherworldly wonder. It’s an escapade into a circus-like realm of cliff divers, puppeteers, gunfighters, family photos, cave adventures, arcade overindulgence and a hype man in a gorilla suit. And yes, there’s the Mexican fare, which can leave a bit to be desired at times, but the meals always finish strong with delectable honey-soaked sopapillas. “It’s always been about the experience, not the food.” Novick explains. “I mean, how many restaurants last for [almost] 50 years?”
Money Talks
Andrew Novick is Casa Bonita’s #1 fan. Photo by Jerilee Bennett.
Rather than attempt to influence the owners of Casa Bonita via community petition, Novick and his associates chose to start a GoFundMe campaign, as a monetary donation signifies a greater commitment than just a signature. With a goal of $100,000, the fund is quickly gaining steam and, at the time of this writing, sits at nearly half of the way in just three weeks. Novick is quick to point out that the money is not intended to pay any current debts the restaurant’s parent company may have outstanding. Rather, the funds would serve as a capital-bolstered basis for participating in the conversation about the future of the restaurant. Novick explains, “We are fundraising to have the power to have a voice in the conversation.” This could play out in any number of ways, from funding a PR campaign to advertise a grand re-opening to procuring legal counsel to broker a deal between the current owners and potential new investors.
A Wild Ride
Casa Bonita’s centerpiece, 30-foot-tall indoor waterfall is modeled after the cliffs of Acapulco and pumps 26,427,000 gallons of water per year, which supplies its 14-foot-deep pool into which cliff divers and actors plunge during the shows.
Understanding the history of the Casa Bonita ownership can be as overwhelming as a visitor’s first foray into Black Bart’s Cave. Initially, it was one component in a chain of themed restaurants that began in Oklahoma City, and branched out to Tulsa, Okla.; Little Rock, Ark.; Fort Worth, Texas; and Lakewood, Colo. The chain was the brainchild of artist, innovator and business mogul Bill Waugh, who was responsible for numerous spectacles of themed entertainment including the Crystal’s Pizza and Taco Bueno chains. In 1982, Waugh sold his company to Unigate, who, in 1992, sold it to CKE restaurants (owners of Carl’s Jr.) who then created a spin-off company in 1997 for the two remaining locations. Today, that company is known as Summit Family Restaurants which is a subsidiary of Star Buffet. When it comes to a discussion about the current state of affairs at the Pink Palace, however, no one at either entity is currently available for comment.
Stay Positive
Meanwhile, Novick and company are holding out for a positive outcome wherein the company culture is modernized, the menu is updated and the Casa Bonita fun machine gets jump started back into action. “We want to make sure that in the future, we (savecasabonita.org) are an important voice,” Novick says. “Whether someone else procures it or if they reopen, we want them to know we are the voice of the community and the fans. The funds we generate could be used to create awareness of the reopening and to revitalize the work environment for employees.” An electrical engineer by trade, Novick is also a realist. Concerning a scenario where the funds raised by savecasabonita.org do not afford them a seat at the negotiation table to have their voice heard by the owners or future buyers, he clarifies, “I want to point out that should the funds not be put to use, all donations will be immediately returned to the donors.”
Dream On
Casa Bonita is a Landmark of the Lakewood Historical Society.
As far as procurement of the intellectual property and the business model goes, just like any dedicated Casa Bonita regular, Novick and company are also dreamers. Ideally, Trey Parker and Matt Stone (creators of South Park) would swoop in, buy out Star Buffet, and entrust the locals to run the zoo. The duo made Casa Bonita a worldwide household name in a 2004 South Park episode which prominently featured the restaurant in all of its fantastically ridiculous glory. In this “everyone wins” scenario Novick, who celebrated his 300th visit to Casa Bonita in 2019 with a wildly successful charity event, could play an integral role. “I’ve done food events, experiential events and experiential art,” he explains. “I feel my role could be VP of experience.”
For now, however, the reality of the situation is that a huge piece of Denver history and yet another beacon of the soul of the city is at stake. Star Buffet filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy on April 6, 2021. So, the harsh fact of the matter is that currently, it’s all about money.
by Luke Schmaltz | Apr 23, 2021 | Travel
By Luke Schmaltz
At this time last year, if you were to offer someone a set of guidelines for maintaining mental stability, you’d probably get a well-deserved smack in the mouth.
Now that circumstances are settling into a cautious clip toward not crazy, some folks are hoping to reclaim their sense of sanity.
There are simple steps you can take to stop the negative internal chatter, calm your mind and exact some mental clarity so that you can enjoy yourself when you get a chance. Also, an approach with reasonable expectations may be better than a strict regimen for the simple fact that you shouldn’t be stressed out about trying to relieve mental stress. Here are a few strategies to consider based on simplicity of the activity, scientific research, and quantifiable results.
Move Yourself
In May of 2019, research fellow Karmel Choi, of the Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health, published a study on the causal connection between physical activity and depression. The study used Mendelian randomization to assess the genetic data of hundreds of thousands of people from two large databases. The finding offered measurable proof that movement does indeed protect against depression more so than the notion that depression makes you move less. Movement means just that; not fancy exercise, (although that won’t hurt) just the simple act of getting up off the couch and going for a walk, mowing the lawn, doing the laundry, dusting off the blinds and yeah — maybe a few jumping jacks.
Reach Out
A 2014 report issued by the National Institute of Health (NIH) presented research on the effects of loneliness on psychiatric disorders and physical health. The study defined loneliness not as a condition caused by being alone, but rather by being “without some definite needed relationship or set of relationships.” The evidence presented links loneliness to a litany of mental conditions including depression, Alzheimer’s, and alcoholism, as well as physical maladies such as low-grade peripheral inflammation which can lead to a host of other serious conditions. The simple act of speaking regularly with friends and family with whom you have a genuine connection can assuage loneliness. Community and religious leaders can also lend a caring ear, while volunteering with charity organizations or adopting a pet can be workable options as well. Plus there are free support outlets such as The Lonely Hour Podcast, the Daily Strength networking service, the National Suicide Prevention Line and many more.
Log Off
Loneliness has a major impact on mental health.
Most people, regardless of age, can grasp the fact that scrolling through your Twitter feed for hours on end is not the equivalent of reading, does not replace human interaction and does not stimulate critical thinking. Regardless, according to statistica.com, the average person worldwide spent 145 minutes a day on social media in both 2019 and 2020. A recent study by Cureus, which was published by the National Institutes of Health, presented evidence gleaned from 28 scholarly articles on the effect of social media on mental health. Anxiety and depression were found to be the most com-
mon disorders linked to habitual social media use, and that these conditions were heightened in females and passive users who only read and do not post. Thankfully, you have many modern decades of human behavior to fall back on when deciding how to better spend your time. For starters, try points one and two above, then you can listen to a podcast, try a new recipe, read a book, write a book, go to a museum, or take a swim. The possibilities are more endless than your daily Facebook news feed.
Be Generous
It is mentally healthy to be generous.
Just about everyone has heard the old saying, “It’s better to give than to receive.” If there was ever any gravitas to the notion that cliches exist for a reason, this one sets the gold standard. In 2013, the American Public Health Association published a study with the NIH which tested the hypothesis that “providing help to others predicts a reduced association between stress and mortality.” Plainly put, being generous toward others helps you relax and live longer. The study followed subjects over a period of five years and measured stressful events in tandem with giving behavior and death rates. The results showed that stress had no bearing on heart rates of those who were giving to others, yet those exhibiting non-giving behavior had a far more predictable rate of mortality in relation to stressful events. Giving behavior does not mean you have to hand out 10 dollar bills to everyone you meet. On the contrary, most folks would rather have something intangible but far more valuable such as your time, your care, your ear, your attention, or your love.
Call A Truce
Solvent relationships are key to mental health.
In this combative, divisive, and litigious day and age, it seems that folks are predisposed to argue at the drop of a hat and be at odds with one another just for the sake of creating conflict. Perhaps one of the greatest things you can do for your mental wellbeing is to relieve yourself of the burden of always having to be right. Debating important issues and standing up for yourself are, of course, pursuits to be valued. Yet, the law of diminishing returns comes into effect when people actively cultivate conflict, exhibit hostility and seek out arguments — especially with their partners. A 2018 study by the Institute for Behavioral Medicine Research at Ohio State University found that couples who argue frequently are prone to leaky gut, which can lead to all sorts of health problems. Further, a 2020 study published by Oxford Academic on depression and family arguments presented evidence that “ … family arguments put depressed men and women at risk for more severe depressive symptoms.” Since it takes two to tangle, when someone wants to argue about something that truly doesn’t matter, you can agree to disagree, take the high road and relent, or simply disengage and walk away.
by Luke Schmaltz | Apr 12, 2021 | Uncategorized
“This is not elective surgery. The Mall is falling apart.” — Mark Sidell, President of Gart Properties, Downtown Denver
by Luke Schmaltz
The Mile High City’s pride and joy of walkable, large-scale retail commerce is showing its age. This project has been in the discussion and planning phases for at least 10 years, and now, a collective of developers and government agencies have aligned in unanimous agreement that the 16th Street Mall needs an overhaul.
16th Street: Denver’s 16th Street Mall sees incredible foot traffic that has worn it down after nearly 40 years.
This coalescence of groups (primarily) involves the Department of Transportation and Infrastructure (DOTI), Denver Urban Renewal Authority (DORA), the Federal Transit Authority (FTA) and the Downtown Denver Partnership.
The 1.2-mile stretch of walkable commerce and free transport via the RTD MallRide was first opened in 1982. In its inception, the installation was hailed as an unprecedented milestone in urban renewal. The accessible design and pedestrian-friendly layout brought much needed revitalization to a historic yet dilapidated district of run-down tenements, boarded-up warehouses and a pervading sense of imminent danger. While the design has more than served its purpose, wear and tear and the ever-shifting tide of social trends have made it clear that it’s time to streamline the layout for a more user-friendly look and feel.
A Popular Destination
The Downtown Denver Partnership reports (in recent years, pandemic notwithstanding) the 16th Street Mall sees an average of 20,000 pedestrians per day. Meanwhile, the RTD MallRide carries anywhere between 25,000 and 39,000 passengers per day. This sort of traffic takes its toll, as the signature granite pavers used to give the mall its distinctive look must be replaced frequently. This creates an economic strain of around $1 million per year across 75 or so days of maintenance. These large stone blocks were originally rated for a 30-year lifespan underfoot, so many of them have outstayed their tenure.
Streamlining Transit
The prevailing feature the redesign addresses is the areas between the RTD buses which travel up and down the mall at regular intervals
MallRide: The RTD Free MallRide transit bus lanes will be consolidated to create more sidewalk room.
, especially the six-foot stretch between Broadway and Tremont and the 14-foot stretch between Tremont and Arapahoe. With particular reference to the latter measurement, this no-man’s land of abandoned chess tables, exhaust-choked planters and mumbling stumblebums used to be a quaint space for gathering, enjoying shade and sitting down for a rest between shopping sessions.
Due to the increasing frequency of MallRide traffic, these “between zones” have been relegated to underused areas rather than celebrated gathering spaces. It has also been unanimously concluded that, by placing the RTD transit lanes in proximity side by side, a much larger pedestrian sidewalk area can be created. This will reduce congestion, increase foot traffic volume and potentially boost commerce in the long run.
Mark Sidell, President of Gart Properties, which includes the Denver Pavilions and several dozen retail spaces on the mall, sees
Spearheading: The Denver Department of Transportation and Infrastructure is spearheading the Mall’s improvement project.
the project as a design upgrade that will offer an attractive array of benefits and opportunities. “Think of the mall as one big hallway,” he begins. “The redesign will transform it to a hallway with a living room on either side.” Sidell is referring to some of the as-yet undivulged design ideas which will include gathering spaces, performance areas, extended patio zones for restaurants and bars, and places for retail kiosks. In essence, consolidating the RTD MallRides in the “between zones” is going to make a world of difference.
Out With The Old
In terms of infrastructure, the proposed improvements will address and correct several long-standing issues. First, a 200+ year-old drainage system will be replaced with modern engineering, new trees will be planted along either stretch of sidewalk and new pavers will be installed up and down the entire length of the street in a pattern similar to the current design.
On January 21st of this year, the City of Denver announced it had selected PCL Construction to design and build the new 16th Street Mall. In a recent press release, Eulois Cleckley, Executive Director of DOTI, stated, “We’re thrilled to have reached this latest milestone on this landmark project that improves safety and mobility along the mall and attracts commuters and visitors with interesting new spaces and places for people to enjoy. The contract we present to Council in the coming weeks will reflect a decade of planning and recent input from groups representing business owners, workers, community members and people with disabilities.”
The aforementioned news item also states the project is slated to get underway “… in late 2021 and be completed by the end of 2024.” While the long-term benefits of the remodel are numerous and
PCL: PCL Construction is a familiar presence in the Denver area, and will be the main reconstruction contractor.
far-reaching, the City promises a swath of immediate economic stimulus-like benefits that will counteract the Covid-19-induced recession. These include nearly 1,500 jobs for trades apprentices and skilled laborers, $107M in labor income, $261M in sales (for building materials) and an across-the-board bolstering of the Gross Regional Product (GRP) by some $3.7B.
What Does It All Mean?
While these numbers look great on paper, the big question on everyone’s mind — especially local business owners, service industry workers, retail workers, restaurateurs and patrons — is how will this affect business between the beginning of the project in late 2021 to its projected completion sometime in 2024? Sidell expounds on his understanding of the role the contractor will play during construction; “PCL is charged with always keeping the pedestrian traffic open. You’ll always be able to get through whether you are walking by yourself or with a group and it will be ADA (Americans with Disabilities Act) accessible and I am confident that they will do that,” he explains. “All that said,” Sidell continues, “are you going to want that [construction] in front of your place of business even one day longer than it has to be? No, of course not. However, it is construction that is going to be conducted in a way that has been very thoughtfully planned out. They have placed a high priority on maintaining access, safety, signage and keeping businesses open.”
A transparent approach has been orchestrated through a series of meetings between project planners and local retailers, property owners, restaurants and the general public. “They’ve done a great job of getting a lot of public interest into the project because everybody has a different perspective and it’s important to get the input of all mall users.” He says. “I am pretty optimistic about what the other side will be … I am confident that a lot of really smart people are working on it, but I’m a realist — it’s still construction.”
The Show Must Go On
Construction in public areas almost always means detours, and this project is no exception. Julie Smith, Director of Communications for the City of Denver Department of Finance explains, “The Free MallRide shuttle will continue to serve the Mall area throughout construction. In active construction zones, the MallRide will be detoured to 15th or 17th (depending on the direction) which both have dedicated bus lanes which can accommodate the MallRide’s frequent stops without disruption to other vehicular traffic. Also, the RTD MallRide will operate on the Mall normally for the blocks that are not under active construction.”
Her office assures that business and leisure on the mall will still be underway throughout construction. She states, “Mai
Baskets: Cindy Kent of A la Carte Flowers and Baskets is determined to weather yet another storm.
ntaining continuity and predictability for the traveling public during construction is extremely important to the project. As the contractor moves from design into construction, we have a systematic process in place to control the construction work and minimize the overall impact to the community. Safe, pedestrian access to businesses and residences will be maintained throughout the project.”
Through Thick And Thin
Meanwhile in the Mall’s private business sector, Cindy Kent is the owner of A la Carte Flowers and Baskets and she is persevering through a year that has put many of her neighbors out of business. When asked about how she thinks construction will affect businesses on the mall, she responds with the exuberant laugh of a business owner who has a healthy sense of skepticism. “The biggest challenge on the Mall right now is parking,” she begins. “I have a paid parking spot because it is an absolute necessity. But my drivers are constantly looking for parking, so construction is going to no doubt drive my rates up.”
A former member of the Downtown Denver Partnership, Kent explains, “I have been hearing rumors of this project for the 20 years I’ve been in this location” (910 16th Street Mall #312). “It’s not egregious enough that we just went through what we went through,” she continues, “We are on the heels of barely coming back in the fourth fiscal quarter and this is their timing?” Regardless, Kent’s 25th anniversary of being in business is coming up, and she’s as determined as ever to weather yet another large-scale disruption. “I get that is finally underway,” she quips, “But I’m really just rolling my eyes at this point.”
by Luke Schmaltz | Apr 12, 2021 | Uncategorized
- “From the greatest of horrors irony is seldom absent.” P. Lovecraft
by Luke Schmaltz
Irony’s flag flies at full mast at the Suncor Energy refinery in Commerce City, Colo. The industrial behemoth is located just north of Denver’s city center and just east of the confluence of I-70 and I-270. The company bears a name that conjures images of an eco-friendly solar energy entity — perhaps working to reduce carbon emissions by developing sustainable alternatives to fossil-based energy sources.
Suncor’s warm glow has a net worth of over $28 billion.
However, Suncor Energy has amassed a collection of over 100 violations for exceeding toxic emission levels — just in the last five years. Across the 230-acre complex, a toxic cocktail of gasses is continuously released not only from smokestacks, but from gas flares, storage tanks and pressure release devices. These include hydrogen cyanide, sulfur dioxide, benzene, carbon monoxide, nitrogen oxides, and particulate matter — among other delights. Recently, the Colorado Department of Public Health and Environment (CDPHE) reached a “historic” $9 million settlement for emissions violations. When released into the atmosphere, these pollutants trap the sun’s heat, causing the greenhouse effect. At least, from this angle, the company’s name is accurate — if only ironically.
An Unmistakable Aroma
If you have lived in Denver for any length of time, you know how it goes: One warm sunny afternoon you’re cruising east on I-70 toward Central Park, and a nauseating waft of gag-inducing smog rushes through your car windows like puke breath from a giant invisible dog. Buckle up for more irony, because even though the stench is making you gasp, there’s at least a 30% chance that the fuel in the car you are driving was refined in this industrial pariah you so revile. Also, if you happen to be heading to the airport to catch a flight, your interdependence deepens as Suncor refines much of the jet fuel used at DIA. But wait, there’s more: chances are good that the asphalt you are driving on was produced at this site as well. More truth in advertising — at least for airline travelers — as the fossil fuels refined
The fuel you use to drive past Suncor may have been refined in the same location.
by Suncor are literally used to take you closer to the sun.
As far as polluters go, Suncor is one of the top producers of carbon emissions with a track record of frequent malfunctions including a recent incident when an “operational upset” released a plume of yellowish debris into the air which wafted across the area and landed on outdoor surfaces throughout the district. According to an article by The Denver Post, the 89-year-old facility releases 866,100 tons of fumes per year. This has earned the surrounding communities of Globeville and Elyria-Swansea the title of “The Most Polluted Zip Code in the Nation” (80216) — according to a 2018 survey conducted by ATTOM Data Solutions.
Follow The Money
Accolades notwithstanding, Suncor’s net worth, or that of its Canadian parent company is recorded by Macrotrends.net to be at an estimated $28.18 billion.It pays $14 million (average) in annual taxes paid to Commerce City and Adams County but gets $2.3 million in tax credits the refinery receives for operating in an “enterprise zone.” The Oxford dictionary defines this as “An impoverished area in which incentives such as tax concessions are offered to encourage business investment and provide jobs for the residents.” While the title is ambiguous, the definition is spot-on. The districts surrounding the Suncor facility are some of the lowest-income areas in the region. Residents are almost universally opposed to the refinery, attributing decades of health issues to the constant presence of toxic fumes.
According to a March 2020 article by CBS4, $4 million of that settlement is allotted for penalties and community projects while $5 million is “… for Suncor to hire a third-party company to investigate why its facility continues to have problems and implement recommendations from that investigation.” So, essentially, they have to pay a fine that they reap the rewards from. They are, essentially, being forced to give concessions
Unless Denverites quit driving and flying, Suncor will not be departing anytime soon.
to the community and to fix their own problem using the money they are being “fined” for.
Old Habits Die Hard
While some are calling for the refinery to be shut down, the measure carries another hidden, ironic caveat. Were that to happen, the pipeline through which the crude oil is transported to Colorado from Alberta, Canada, would have to be replaced by diesel engines from large semi-trucks so that DIA could continue to operate. This, in turn, would create possibly even more carbon emissions than the refinery is currently generating. So, unless Denverites plan to curtail the need for air travel, gasoline and asphalt, it looks as though it’s going to be business as usual.
by Luke Schmaltz | Mar 19, 2021 | General Featured
“The number one rule of thieves is that nothing is too small to steal.” – Jimmy Breslin
by Luke Schmaltz
A large number of Denver residents are sitting on top of a hidden treasure and they don’t even know it.
Below the interior cabs of all modern cars, along the vehicle’s undercarriage parallel to the driveshaft, sits the exhaust system in a series of pipes, gaskets and couplings. Within this assembly, for all cars made after 1975, is a catalytic converter — a filter which transforms harmful exhaust compounds (hydrocarbons, nitrogen oxide and carbon monoxide) into inert gases.
This piece of automotive technology contains semi-precious metals which are crucial to the catalyzing process. These include palladium, rhodium and platinum — rare metals that are sought after and valued on par with gold. It is no secret to enterprising thieves that these components can fetch between $150 and $300 per unit from scrap yards and chop shops — and sometimes even more.
Amid the economic hardship of the past year, the risk-to-reward ratio of catalytic converter theft is attractive enough for someone with a few tools and nothing to lose to take action. Anyone with enough nerve and a bit of know-how can simply crawl beneath a car in the middle of the night and start hacking away. Vulnerable cars are everywhere — parked
Theft On The Rise: Catalytic converter theft is up 1600% in the Denver area from 2019.
on the street, in parking garages, strip malls and driveways. As jobs disappear, pandemic relief runs out, and perhaps a bad case of cabin-fever boredom takes hold — car part pirates set out to find their livelihood amid a vast urban landscape abundant with low-hanging fruit.
The number of thefts across Denver is on the rise like the temperature gauge on an overheating vehicle. In 2019, a total of just 15 were reported, while in 2020, the cases jumped up to a staggering 257. Meanwhile, 2021 is on par to leave that number in the dust, as 108 cases of stolen catalytic converters were reported by the end of January.
The Winners
Junkyard: Catalytic converters make a quick stop at a place like this so the precious metals therein can be removed.v
Experienced thieves who know where to slither and hack can get away with half a dozen or more converters per night. Doorbell cameras have captured these heists taking place with alarming speed — some in under two minutes. Once these are sold to a scrap yard or fenced to a black-market processing facility, the thief makes a few bucks and the next guy (the fence) digs into the devices, harvests the precious metals therein and sells them to a dealer. While laws are in place that supposedly forbid scrap metal dealers and junkyards from accepting stolen goods, there is by no means a task force monitoring these markets. If thieves are bold enough to break the law in plain sight, what’s to stop them from continuing to do so until the valued goods find their way back into the supply chain?
Next in the catalytic converter economic stimulus line are the auto repair shops. As this is becoming a routine procedure, the parts can be replaced with a fair degree of quickness and ease. Yet, parts and labor cost money and even if the mechanic is an honest one, they’ll be billing each client anywhere from $1,000 to $3,000 per job.
The Losers
The victim’s experience is invariably the same. A vehicle owner gets in their car, turns the ignition key to start the engine and is jolted upwards by a roaring blast of exhaust from beneath. In previous years, the individual may have thought it was just a temperamental automotive glitch that would work itself out. More recently, however, a person in this scenario quickly comes to the harrowing realization that part of their car has been stolen right out from underneath them.
After a sputtering, cantankerous trip to the mechanic, they are hit with a repair bill that most likely places yet another degree of economic strain on an already dire situation. While folks with comprehensive insurance coverage can send the bill to their carrier, a great many drivers out there do not have such coverage because they are trying to save money, and when they bought their insurance, rampant car part theft was probably not yet on their radar.
The Also-rans
Catalytic Converter: If you want to keep your catalytic converter, knowing how to weld is a valuable skill.
The associated fallout of these thefts is the additional burden that is placed on the Denver Police Department. While there is little or nothing that responding officers can do to recover the stolen part, there is considerable strain in terms of the man hours it takes to follow up on every case, to fill out paperwork and to listen to the victims tell their stories.
Enough Is Enough
Across the Mile High City, people are becoming increasingly aware that they could very well be the next victim in line to have their catalytic converters stolen. The obvious solution is to park your car in a garage, lock it up for the night and the problem is solved. The problem with that, is that the vast majority of car owners, especially in neighborhoods near the city center, do not enjoy such luxuries.
High profile vehicles like SUVs, Hummers and 4×4 trucks are the easiest targets, as they do not need to be jacked up off the ground in order for the thieves to access the converter. A smart driver on a shoestring budget can opt to park their Prius between a Ford F-250 and a Land Rover and hope their neighbors bear the brunt of the thievery instead of them.
Proactive citizens can sit up all night and guard their cars with a flashlight and a baseball bat. Yet, most people enjoy their sleep and do not wish to confront criminals in the pale moonlight. Thankfully, this scourge of theft has necessitated a suite of new inventions designed to keep your catalytic converter attached to your car’s exhaust system and out of the hands of criminals. In yet another economically beneficial outcome of the rise in theft, these devices range anywhere from $125 to $700 or more apiece, plus installation if you’re not handy with tools. These products are carving out a market niche for themselves under names such as The Cat Clamp, Cat Security, Cat Strap and more.
- Cat Strap: This alarm-style device features contact and motion sensors. The strap is tethered along the length of the exhaust system (which includes the catalytic converter) by a series of metal clamps and rings. The sensor is then wired to the battery and the alarm receiver is mounted beneath the hood. Contact with the exhausts system or significant motion beneath the car in the vicinity of the catalytic converter will set it off. Thief activity beneath your car sets off the alarm, which then deters the perpetrator. Professional installation is recommended.
- Cat Security: This device is strictly hardware, and acts as a type of shield between your catalytic converter and the ground. The product is essentially sheet metal which is pre-fabricated to fit the undercarriage of specific models of cars. The shield is then bolted into place with a combination of security rivets, bolts and self-tapping screws. The protective barrier is immediately obvious to and should convince most thieves to think again. Professional installation is optional.
- Cat Clamp: Another hardware-based product, this invention uses braided, heavily-rated steel cables and heavy-duty steel clamps and adaptor plates which, once mounted and installed, surround your catalytic converter in a metal cage. The various product sizes can accommodate everything from regular sized cars to large, heavy duty diesel trucks. Hardware and cable run the length of the exhaust system and present an immediate visual deterrent to thieves — as it is obvious the catalytic converter is not coming off without a whole lot of effort and noise. Professional installation recommended.
Extreme Measures
A similar approach is to have the catalytic converter welded to your car’s frame, which would make it much harder and far more time consuming to steal. Another method is to have your car alarm system recalibrated to detect the subtle humming of a reciprocating saw or the light tog of a ratchet wrench. Other folks are engraving their car’s VIN number to the housing on the converter, which to an average thief might be a deterrent, but to an enterprising criminal — it might be an invitation to pursue identity theft.
The other options are to string barbed wire around your car every night and risk getting cited for littering or reckless endangerment. You could train rattlesnakes to coil up in the undercarriage at night and take a swipe at anything that crawls under the car. Or you could just sell the damn thing and get a bike — along with an arsenal of four or five heavy duty U-locks.
