by Mark Smiley | Nov 23, 2015 | Feature Story Bottom Left
First off I hope you have a joyful holiday month. I know this time of year can be pretty taxing if life is throwing you a curve ball or if you’re without a companion or family. If you are struggling remember things change, and nothing lasts forever so stay positive and keep working toward creating a better situation for yourself.
And if, God forbid, you are going through a holiday breakup take some advice from Mrs. Claus in the following poem. Go out, have fun, keep it light and move toward finding your own happiness again. The rest will figure itself out. Life doesn’t have to be so serious…
With that thought in mind and apologies to the Christmas classic song, “Here Comes Santa Claus,” I give you my yearly December Christmas poem…
Here Comes Mrs. Claus
Here comes Mrs. Claus, Here comes Mrs. Claus
She’s single and dating again,
Vinny and Johnny met her on Tinder,
Along with plenty more men,
Her phone is a ringin’, texts are a dingin’,
She’s searching for love for the night,
So she puts on her stockings in hope of
body rocking,
Mrs. Claus has a hot date tonight.
Here comes Mrs. Claus, Here comes Mrs. Claus,
She’s single and dating again,
She’s got a bag that’s filled with toys,
Not the kind for girls and boys,
When she walks she jingle jangles,
Oh what a beautiful sight,
So jump in bed and cover your head,
’Cause Mrs. Claus is single tonight!
Here comes Mrs. Claus, Here comes Mrs. Claus
She’s single and dating again,
She doesn’t care if you’re rich or poor,
Because she just got back in the game,
Mrs. Claus, a single white female with no children,
Just wants to date and keep it light,
So if you wanna get with Mrs. C you better have
dinner and beer,
’Cause Mrs. Claus is looking for a date tonight!
Here comes Mrs. Claus, Here comes Mrs. Claus
She’s single and dating again,
She’ll come back around when the night runs out,
Oh no not the walk of shame again,
If you play your cards right she might give you a call,
Tonight could be your night,
So let’s give thanks to Santa for neglecting
Mrs. Claus,
Because now Mrs. Claus is single tonight!
Have a very Merry Christmas and keep someone warm, your pal Sheik.
by Mark Smiley | Nov 23, 2015 | Editorials
If one was wondering how sleazy and dishonest the Hancock Administration has become, one need look no further than the appointment of former City Councilman Chris Nevitt to the city position of Manager of Transit-Oriented Development (TOD). Nevitt ran for the citywide post of Auditor and lost notwithstanding raising from real estate developers, and their lawyers and lobbyists, over 10 times the amount raised by his opponent Tim O’Brien. Even his supporter, former Auditor Dennis Gallagher, expressed his disgust with Nevitt the day after the election saying, “I haven’t seen such a bad campaign since Mark Udall.”
Nevitt managed to lose by being seen by the voters as little more than a cheap shill for the very worst real estate developers doing business in Denver. He confirmed the people’s low opinion of him when in one of his last meetings before leaving office he gave a speech declaring every part of the city must sacrifice in order to make room for extremely high density rather than risk the horrors of possible suburban sprawl. The speech was too much even for The Denver Post who blasted him in its editorial pages making him a persona non grata throughout the City and County of Denver.
But Nevitt had done the bidding of Mayor Hancock and his real estate buddies ever since Hancock had taken office. Hancock even indicated, prior to Nevitt’s election loss, that Nevitt might make a good successor to him as mayor. After his election loss, Nevitt at age 52 faced difficult job prospects. He was totally devoid of any skills which would make him employable in the private sector and thus it was believed he was only suited for working for the government.
It was extraordinary however, that city department after city department refused to even consider him. An exasperated Hancock was forced to create a whole new job position within the morally bankrupt Department of Community Planning and Development run by the highly controversial Brad Buchanan. Buchanan is considered the only individual in Denver government that the citizens of Denver consider being as or more unethical than Nevitt.
Buchanan’s Department publicly announced, to the guffaws of city insiders, that Nevitt won the job of Manager of TOD “after a competitive hiring process.” Garnering only a $120,000 position in the Hancock administration demonstrated how far Nevitt had fallen. Buchanan knew that Nevitt coming aboard his Department would not be welcomed by his highly demoralized staff who do not like being viewed by the public as simply tools for real estate developers. He put out an internal memo attempting to justify Nevitt’s hiring and the position he would occupy as Manager of TOD.
The job apparently is to be in charge of coordinating city efforts to encourage development along transit stops. Of course as massive development of high-rise apartments in Cherry Creek North showed that developers couldn’t care less about building projects along light rail stops and they control the city government and not the other way around.
Buchanan declared in the memo that Nevitt was “uniquely suited for this position based on experience working with private sector constituencies [i.e. real estate developers] involved with land development” not quite understanding that Nevitt’s job as a city councilman was actually not to work with developers but rather to represent his actual constituents and sit in a quasi-judicial capacity to vote up or down projects that came before the City Council. Buchanan was in essence implying that Nevitt might have been engaged in what some might consider illegal activity with developers.
The fact that this so-called “job” had heretofore never existed is indicative of how necessary it actually is. Luckily Nevitt is well known for his incredible laziness as his losing Auditor race demonstrated. Thus in some ways he is a perfect fit as a no-work politician being matched up with a no-work government job. He will lunch and cocktail with real estate developers he knows and others while they get approved building where they want to build in the city which is normally not next to light rail stations.
But is this the end of Chris Nevitt as a public figure in Denver buried in the belly of the government beast? It turns out that being too incompetent to qualify for an actual mayoral appointment has its real advantages. Unlike Rocky Piro as Planning Director or Lauri Dannemiller as Parks Director Nevitt can’t simply be fired by this mayor or any future mayor. He has full civil service protection. He can spend his next decade and a half or so doing little or nothing while pulling in six figures and a hefty pension. Upon a well-deserved retirement from arduous public service Nevitt can wander down to Florida or Arizona and vegetate until his ultimate demise.
Sure it is not much of a life for a person with talent and ambition but Nevitt never had the talent part anyway. The media, including this paper, will of course miss him as a figure to kick around and make fun of. Surely he will be tempted at some point to try to revive his mayoral ambitions, but he is better suited living the sleepy government apparatchik life. But should he someday unwisely decide to leave his sinecure for a more public role we in the media will certainly be there to greet him with open arms.
— Editorial Board
by Peter Boyles | Nov 23, 2015 | Blasting with Boyles
The Light Goes On In Israel About The Insanity Of Islamic Jihadists
I’ve recently returned from Israel, my third trip to the Middle East, my second one this year. While I was in Israel, terrorist bombs blew up a southern part of Beirut, apparently ISIS bombed a Russian airliner killing all on board, and the terrible attacks occurred in Paris. If you go back even to the attack in the United States on 9/11, I think I can come up with a fairly simple profile of who does these things and why.
As politically incorrect as this may sound, make sure the security people at DIA pay attention as you watch them hoist grandma out of her wheelchair wearing Depends to make sure she’s not a threat. I think I know who these people are.
I got cranked on to Sigmund Freud about the middle of my sophomore year in college, where, as you know, the good doctor believed that almost all human behaviors have something to do with sex. Now taking us back in a time machine to when I was of the age of sexual awareness, playing baseball with some older guys, I was taken on my first sexual adventure. I never forgot it.
The motivating force throughout almost all of my life, and other men who are smart enough, have all been driven by … that’s right, sex. Now it’s believed that young men have thoughts about sex about every 35 or 40 seconds. At the grand old age of 72, I find myself thinking about it every 3 or 4 minutes.
In Jerusalem, the centerpiece of all Western faith, Judaism, Christianity and Islam, I believe the most repressive is mainstream Islam. However conservative Christianity and Judaism share that sexual actions are sinful and abstaining from these pleasures is a part of these beliefs. Note to self, you all remember the religious member of your family jumping up and down about gay marriage as if two men who love each other getting married was going to destroy the conservative religious believers of marriage.
So we begin. Imagine you’re a 19-year-old Muslim male and you’re being taught there’s a promise of 72 virgins waiting in heaven for any martyr of Islam. Over here is the pool of young, sexually frustrated Muslim males with no chance of marrying, having nothing to lose and much to gain. To again make my case, in almost every incident suicide bombers have been historically young, unmarried Muslim men. These men join Islamic groups committed to suicidal attacks on infidels to go immediately to paradise to enjoy the beautiful women there.
That’s why I’m reading Roots of Islam. There’s an Oxford sociologist Diego Gambetta, who says these little monsters have little to do with religion but everything to do with sex. Sex is unattainable for most young Muslim males, but homeboy, if you just hit this little red button the party starts. How can you go wrong?
As for the women in Saudi Arabia or Iran, and other countries ruled by Sharia laws, none have legal or property rights and certainly not full rights as human beings. Dr. Freud was a great believer in all of this being motivating for behavior at that time in modern Vienna. (Note to self, Freud also thought that cocaine was also the answer to all problems).
Bad treatment and no rights for women, and Islam also tolerates sexual abuse of both boys and girls. Another one of the facts that Freud uncovered in Vienna was that these women had been sexually abused, and remember, if you please Allah, you’re a hero. If you destroy the infidel, you become a good boy. An Islamic hero by becoming a brutal killer. Men are allowed to beat their wives who don’t do what they ask. We’ve witnessed sexual abuse of afghan boys by military and police. It’s an interesting conclusion that political correctness will not allow people to enter that room.
By writing this article I will immediately become an Islamophobe, or simply exercising my white male privilege.
I think we’re watching it work itself out. Remember honor killing? When a young Islamic woman can do such horrible crimes as leaving the house on her own, refusing to enter an arranged mar-riage or dressing in ways that the faith deems inappropriate. Now if that ain’t sexual repression, I don’t know what is.
So I leave you with this one at the holidays. Sexual drive is found by most men and women but apparently remains a mystery to Allah, but you keep kids buttoned up and then tell them all they have to do is hit the red button on a suicide vest and its Christmas morning. And I’ll leave you with one more of uncle Sigmund’s statements, “Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.”
— Peter
by Mark Smiley | Nov 23, 2015 | General Featured
So You Think You Can Dance is on the road for the Season 12 tour

December 8 | 8 p.m.
Paramount Theatre | 1621 Glenarm Pl, Denver, CO 80202
The Season 12 tour lineup includes the show’s following Top 10 finalists: Team Street’s Megan “Megz” Alfonso, Eddie “Neptune” Eskridge, Virgil Gadson, Jessica “JJ” Rabone and Jana “Jaja” Vankova; and Team Stage’s Gaby Diaz (Season 12 winner), Edson Juarez, Jim Nowakowski, Hailee Payne and Derek Piquette.
The tour features some of this season’s most popular routines from both Team Stage and Team Street, along with original pieces created specifically for the tour.
Tickets start at $45 and can be purchased by clicking below:
http://www.altitudetickets.com/event/so-you-think-you-can-dance-4096/
For more information on the tour, click here

Gaby Diaz is America’s Favorite Dancer on the Season Finale of SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE