by Mark Smiley | Sep 25, 2015 | Feature Story Bottom Left
We’ve all been there in our dating lives — at the point where nothing seems to work and your self-esteem spirals like Alice down the rabbit hole. There are many variables of how and why this horrible mindset of doubt can creep in to your mind and body and start to consume you. This mojo draining phenomena will affect your ability to network in the dating world properly.
Maybe you’ve gained some weight or you’re working through health problems. Maybe you’re working through an injury or personal body image issues stemming from aging or myriad reasons. You might be getting out of a long-term relationship that took a toll on your mind and body leaving you “relationship fat,” or worse, lacking self-worth. Whatever the case is, if you’re not feeling confident about your mind and body, STOP dating!!
Better yet, I forbid you to date! Remember I always say, water seeks its own level and I believe people do too. If you are struggling with the types of things I just described now is no time to market yourself to other human beings. I am aware how difficult it is not to reach out to people when you are at your worst or struggling, but believe me when I tell you that you have to, at least in a romantic way, in order to soften the loneliness or feel better about yourself by being around someone who is as miserable as yourself. I understand misery loves company but you’re just wasting time that could be used to fix yourself, and worse yet, that miserable company may never go away.
Here’s what needs to be done. I call it dating lockdown. As painful as it may be you need to go into survival mode which is a lot like safe mode upon startup of your personal computer. Starting your computer in safe mode allows your computer to start Windows only to search for errors and prevent further damage. Dating lockdown is similar in a sense that you are allowing yourself to go into a mode of thinking that will force you to introspectively take emotional and physical inventory and disallow you from doing any further damage to an already dire situation. Let’s face it, no one is getting any younger around here. The more time you waste accumulating rings around your tree trunk being single, the less viable of a catch you become to the good ones out there.
Here are some things to keep in mind when you’re on dating lockdown…
- Dig deep and fight! There is a reason people get depressed and many time psych drugs are not the answer. The body has so many survival mechanisms in place it’s astonishing. There is probably a reason you get sad when you look down and can’t see your feet. The answer to the root of your sadness isn’t a pill; the answer is getting rid of your big fat gut so you can see your Nikes again. By no means am I asking you to be perfect, just be in the best physical shape you that you can be so you are confident about how you look and feel. Sometimes this can be a battle, but a fight worth having nonetheless. The rewards pay dividends in many aspects in your life. Not just romantically.
- Ask yourself this question… Are you a good person to be around? If you were looking to spend time with someone would you choose yourself? I’m guessing if a lot of us were being honest we’d say no. Do you have people’s best interests in mind or do you do things that only benefit you? Are people’s thoughts and feelings safe with you or do you use them to pass judgement or use them against someone at a later time?
- Do you have the ability to live for the future and learn from the past rather than having your past drive your future? This is important, I’ve spoken to countless people who are “unable” to do certain things because their past forbids whatever the present may hold, a challenge or otherwise. Just make sure you’re healed enough from your past so that when you are dating again you’re not stunting someone else’s growth because of your personally unaddressed limitations.
- Are you an overall happy person? I know it sounds cliché but no one will ever make you happy until you’re happy with yourself. How tragic would it be that by some dumb luck you did meet the love of your life but you had no idea what to do with them because you’re not happy with yourself. To me there is nothing more heart breaking than finding someone you have a mad connection with but you’re in two different times in your life.
Dating is like playing cards. It’s all in the odds. When you play cards don’t you want to make every move possible to ensure that hand you’re holding has the best odds or greatest chance of being the winning hand? Give your dating life the same odds for success and stack your deck by doing the hard things it takes to be a viable dater, or just human for that matter.
October date tip! Ask a lady to carve pumpkins with you. Women love doing fun crafty things that remind them of their childhood. Two pumpkins, one bottle of wine and a couple of candles.
Happy Halloween!
Your pal, Sheik
by Mark Smiley | Sep 25, 2015 | Feature Story Middle Left
by Brian Zabroski
Keys? Check. Wallet? Check. Phone? Hmmm. I know I had it earlier. Just then, a bit of panic consumed me. Where did I leave it? Is someone stealing my identity? Is Mrs. App wondering why I haven’t responded to her text in a timely manner? It hit me. It was lost. What to do.
I retraced my steps. First, I checked the raffle ticket table to make sure I didn’t leave it there. Nope. Just a couple of college students laughing at me as I walked away. I’m sure they were thinking, “Seriously, how could anyone put down a phone long enough to forget where they left it?” Then again, I’m not sure either of them picked up their head from their own phones to really care. I didn’t win the 50/50 raffle, in case you were wondering.
So Toddler App and I walked back to the truck. There it was on the front seat. I looked at my son, then the phone and shut the door. I was at Toddler App’s first hockey game. We walked back to the arena without the phone. We talked to the people sitting near us. Hung out at the retail store. Shared Dippin’ Dots, which were delicious and terrible at the same time. I wasn’t concerned about checking my fantasy football score, text messages or capturing the moment on my phone. Instead, Toddler App and I enjoyed an afternoon of hockey.
We’re in the final stretches of the year. Time shrinks this time of year. With the approaching holidays and kids back at school, think about putting down that phone in October. What? Am I crazy? You don’t use your phone that often? Think twice. A Kaiser Family Foundation study found kids aged 8-18 are plugged into media 7.5 hours per day. Holy cow! That’s a work day, except it is every day not just Monday through Friday. An adult spends just over 8.5 hours per day on their phone. I’m not a math genius, but these numbers bookend the average recommended amount of daily sleep, 8 hours. Studies have shown that excessive amounts of mobile phone usage are affecting our sleeping patterns. Baby App affects my sleeping pattern enough!
So, what can you do? Try something new, hard and challenging for October. Put down the phone an hour before bed. Do not check the phone during the night. Place the phone on do not disturb. Get some rest for the love of Pete! Curious as to the amount of your usage? Try using Moment. This app tracks your phone usage. You can set up daily limits, notifications for high usage, as well as tracking your family’s phone time. The concept is simple. Put down the phone and pick up your head to enjoy others.
The goal of my “being more present” topic isn’t to drive the usage to zero, rather drive from 8.5 hours to 7. It is doable. There are times when using technology can be helpful. Take the fussy baby that is soothed by the interaction of a show on a tablet. The challenge with this is the baby, or Toddler, hitting the home button, pausing the video or opening an app they shouldn’t be in (i.e. suddenly they’re responding to your email!). Instead of the tablet entertaining, you’re restarting the video every two minutes. You’re not alone!
Try locking the iPad. Under Settings, turn on Guided Access and create a four digit password. Once you’re in the application of choice, say Netflix, press the home button three times. This locks the iPad from leaving this application, leaves the movie/ show playing and you’re not restarting it every two minutes. This is a great way to share your iPad with others without worrying they’ll mistakenly delete something important. It can be a business tool for training employees.
For those venturing out to trick or treat on Halloween, check out Nextdoor’s Treat Map. Nextdoor, a neighborhood app, shares the best places for trick or treating, and planning your route or haunted houses in your area. Glad Fall is here! Don’t be a phone monster. Put it down and get up!
Do you have a favorite educational app you’d like to share? Contact Brian at brian @brianzabroski.com, on Twitter @BrianZab or LinkedIn at www.linkedin.com/in/ brianzab.
Brian, a Corporate Account Executive with NetSuite, has spent nearly 20 years in the telecommunications and software industry. Businesses use NetSuite software to run and manage all of their business applications. It’s web-based, so businesses can access their information from anywhere; It’s flexible, which allows the software to be customized for their business; and, it is built on a single platform, which businesses appreciate since they can often eliminate multiple software solutions. Trending companies, such as Box, GoPro, FitBit and Dropbox use NetSuite software to run their business. Reach out to Brian to learn how your business can benefit with NetSuite.
by Peter Boyles | Sep 25, 2015 | Blasting with Boyles
As a boy in Western Pennsylvania, my father would tell me when we would see “hobos,” that the only difference between them and the Mellon family (Pennsylvania’s answer to the Coors family) was money. One of the many things the old man never understood was the term “homeless.” The concept made him nuts. Plus, he also never understood how Nixon became President.
Somewhere along the line since my father died, homelessness has become a noble cause. We are now teaching our children that homelessness is the fault of our society. I’ve spent many dead trees writing about political correctness; homelessness is yet another politically correct noble cause. In 2005, John Hickenlooper, then mayor now governor, launched the “Ten Year Plan to End Homelessness.” This was for Hickenlooper the equivalent of the old Soviet’s 10 year plans for the glorious people or Mao’s “Great Leap Forward.”
Under the Hickenlooper administration the glorious people of Denver were going to build glorious shelters, and the glorious homeless were going to be given priority and all would be well. Homelessness would end and there will be once again peace in the valley. But, in the words of Gomer Pyle, “Shazaam!” All you have to do is drive down Speer Blvd. to see John Hickenlooper’s own Great Leap Forward in action. If there ever was a bigger con, I guess it was RTD’s light rail, and all kinds of jive attempts to move the Stock Show.
When the Denver Commission to End Homelessness launched its efforts, most Denverites were really sure there would be no homelessness in 10 years. Now here’s where the rubber meets the road.
Enter “The Dragon,” Denver auditor, Dennis Gallagher. He figured 63 million dollars has been spent ending homelessness in the last 10 years. The auditor figured there were an estimated 3,200 homeless people in Denver. Okay, as I’ve stated before, I can neither do math nor marriage, but we’ve got 63 million dollars spent to end homelessness in 10 years — you would think we would have something to show for it. Instead we appear to have even more homelessness.
If you feed bears, squirrels or birds, what you get are just more bears, squirrels and birds. Auditor Gallagher’s review of Denver’s Road Home, found, and I quote, “they’ve done a poor job of tracking numbers and demonstrating progress.” The auditor went on to say the 10 year goal to end homelessness remains unclear. “We’ve spent all of this money but we don’t know if anything is actually getting better.”
Dennis the Menace is being kind. The Commission to End Homelessness was made up of cronies of Mayor Hickenlooper, paid significant salaries, and given titles such as “Homelessness Advocate,” but they were little more than foxes guarding the hen house.
I gained my sobriety 29 years ago, I spent 25 of those years as a volunteer and board member for the late Bob Coté’s Step 13. As opposed to The Road Home, Bob Coté’s motto was “work works, and sobriety works.” And to my surprise the one guy in the city who understood how to end homelessness, was never once invited to any of John Hickenlooper’s summits on ending homelessness. Or, for that matter, anything that Mayor Hancock does along the same lines.
One of the things that I’ve urged Denver District Attorney Mitch Morrissey to do, (from my mouth to Mitch’s ear) is to launch a grand jury investigation into Denver’s shameless waste of money regarding homelessness. It’s a fraud, this is a con, this is a grift perpetrated by J.H. and supported by big media. One of the lines from a Denver Post article was how the Commission is still committed to ending homelessness. These are the moments that I always want to say, “Hey Dick Tracy where’d you park your squad car?”
Speaking out against the homelessness con job is another politically correct crime. John Hickenlooper created Denver’s Road Home, people gave the money and things are worse. Where I came from, that’s a con. You paid the man to fix the hole in your roof, to pave your driveway, to fix the television, and still nothing works. But, of course, these guys keep their jobs and they are still promising that they’re going to end homelessness. Drive down Speer Blvd., every street corner, everybody’s got a sign everybody’s got a mooch going. Most of them have cell phones and they’ve got a cigarette in their mouth and they don’t look like they missed a meal. The phony 10 year plan worked well for them.
Happy Halloween. Trick or Treat, you got tricked!
— Peter
by Peter Boyles | Aug 31, 2015 | Blasting with Boyles
As we have passed the 70th anniversary of Japan’s surrender I am fascinated by the actions of current Japanese Emperor Akihito as well as watching current Japanese Minister Shinzo Abe who seemingly fell short of apologizing or continues to attend shrines who honor the war criminals and the war dead instead of doing what we in the West call “doing the right thing.”
Abe went so far as to speak to the war dead thanking them for the sacrifice which he said helped created Japan’s present peace and prosperity.
That’s fascinating, I remember them doing their level best to destroy a third of all of Asia. To congratulate themselves on how those wartime actions, religious insanity and imperial motives are the reason why they are prosperous today is truly amazing.
So all you uninitiated forget about the Bataan Death March, the rape of Nanking and untold thousands of murdered Chinese and Korean people. So amidst politicians dredging up the past in a manner that suits them, pops up the devil himself, former Florida Governor Jeb Bush.
After spending a week unable to absolve his brother President George W. Bush of blame concerning the Iraq invasion and he started blaming the problems in today’s Middle East on Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton, I see a little of the Japanese emperor and the prime minister shining through. Some wag recently took Jeb on when Jeb said that his brother “W” didn’t get everything right in Iraq. Juan Cole tweeted that such a statement was like saying Custer didn’t get everything right at the Little Big Horn. Dubya’s Iraq invasion is simply the largest foreign policy screwup in American history. As Juan Cole also noted Dubya didn’t get everything right indeed. Now, in true fashion, Jeb is foisting the next great lie that his brother’s “surge was working.”
History tells us always pay close attention to what politicians are actually claiming. In 2006 the U.S. installed the Islamic Mission Party in control in Iraq. That Shiite dominated party was hated by both the Kurds and the Sunni as well as several other key groups in Iraq. The new prime minister was the universally despised Nouri al-Maliki. Al- Maliki was involved in a number of religious and political fronts since being driven out of Iraq by Saddam Hussein. Al-Maliki was very close to Dubya, when things got bad through 2006. When Dubya’s advisors, like James Baker, counseled him to just get out of Iraq, he got a second opinion from another man, General David Petraeus. Petraeus said that America simply needed to have more soldiers to fully control the country. And those who know history, know that General William Westmoreland did the same thing in Vietnam telling Lyndon Johnson all we needed was more troops.
Time out on the field. See kids, this is why I urge people to read history as it is ever so repetitive whether it’s the French, the British, the Spaniards or even the Soviets, the game always begins the same and ends the same.
Iraq fell into a civil war, and the American military under Dubya began to withdraw. Jeb Bush, aka Jebya!, has recently made a claim at the Reagan library that Obama and Hillary Clinton are to blame for the rise of ISIS. This is the guy who is the brother of the guy who used 9/11 as an excuse to invade Iraq and now says overthrowing Saddam Hussein “turned out to be a pretty good deal.” I ask you, pretty good deal for whom? The numbers speak for themselves — a minimum 100,000 dead Iraqis, half a million widows and orphans, 4,500 young dead Americans. 3,500 wounded warriors, a trillion dollars sunk into a country ravaged and a Mideast nation awash in war and blood. Again, who was it a pretty good deal for exactly?
This same brother in 2008 signed what’s been called an agreement between us and a representative of Iraq for the withdrawal of troops from Iraq by Christmas Eve 2011. The throwaway line apparently comes from 2009 when we closed our biggest POW camp, Camp Bucca. One of the prisoners released was future ISIS founder Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi who told his former guards: “I’ll see you guys in New York.”
From time to time I spend a large part of my broadcast day talking about Barack Obama and the creation of his life. I assure you only a handful of people know the true story of Barack Obama’s life. He’s a fabrication, a will-o’-the-wisp, a ghost. But all the insanity we are witnessing in the Mideast, none of this is Obama’s creation. Why any rational person can continue to believe anything any Bush says about the tragic wars the U.S. has gotten itself involved in because of the Bushes is beyond me. Peter Paul and Mary sang “When will they ever learn?” and “Where have all the flowers gone?” When will the Republican Party learn, when will the American people learn, when will you learn? Whatever you do for the love of heaven don’t let any of those Bushes back in control of this country.
Sayonara.
Peter
