by Mark Smiley | Nov 21, 2016 | Feature Story Bottom Left
by Amy Springer
Once upon a time, oh who am I kidding, on a beautiful Sunday this October, we were in Indio, California, to attend the Desert Trip festival, or as it is more poignantly known, “Oldchella.”
Oldchella is, essentially, a three-day music festival for old people, with performances by the Rolling Stones, Paul McCartney, Bob Dylan, Neil Young, The Who, etc. You get the picture. The performances lasted for hours and by day three, some in our group had had enough. We mustered up a small group for the festival finale, which was to be closed out by Roger Waters, a founder of Pink Floyd.
My family prepared for what we thought would be a pretty garden-variety concert. Our musician son had tickets for the pit, and Mr. Waters had promised a special show that he would play only twice, once that night and the second time a week later during the second weekend of Oldchella. He also promised some sort of “state of the art” sound system and a visual show. Ya, whatever, a concert is a concert, right?
Not so fast. I’ll start with the sound. If you’re old like me, you remember when the original Star Wars was released and a new sound system was debuted. It started in the back of the theater and then reached a deafening crescendo with “The Audience is Listening!” We sure were. Well, Mr Waters’ sound system made that sound like a couple of cans connected by a piece of string. I mean, at times it sounded like an entire fleet of low flying helicopters were landing on your head… in a polo field… with 80,000 plus people in attendance. It consisted of numerous towers of speakers strategically placed throug
hout the venue. The effect was as if you had been dropped into Vietnam during an air raid. And that was just the beginning.
Visually, the show was indescribable. The best I can do is say it felt like a 3D IMAX production, deftly created by Salvadore Dali, with the score being played live by Pink Floyd to perfection. There were lasers, flying pigs, reality bending optical illusions and pointed references that were sometimes ugly, like the images of human trafficking accompanying the song “Money.”
The musicality was such that our musician son opined that Mr. Waters should consider changing the name of the band to something along the lines of “a group of the most well prepared and talented musicians in the world, and oh, also that guy from Pink Floyd.” And it wasn’t like Roger was conceited or suffered from self-aggrandizement. Nope, when it was someone else’s turn, he simply stepped aside. The same can’t be said of the other geezer performers. At one point, he even had a disabled veteran play lead guitar on one of his songs, which brings me to the “comfortably numb” part of this story.
If one thing is abundantly clear, it’s that Mr. Waters is obviously a pacifist and a man of strong moral convictions. His repeated references that he is a voice to all victims rings true. I mean, this man puts his money where his mouth is. He works with disabled veterans and victims of war and crimes. He freely admits his mistakes when he’s wrong, like when he prohibited members of Pink Floyd from using the band name in later years. He is opinionated and speaks his mind. So why, then, did the majority of the crowd empty out of the venue before he played his great hit “Comfortably Numb”?
To understand, you probably have to go back to earlier in the show when he played “Pigs (Three Different Ones),” prominently featuring the word “charade.” During this particular song, the giant screens behind the stage showed various and sundry images of Donald Trump, some with him literally vomiting money, others with his face painted a la Andy Warhol with garish lipstick and eyeliner, images of him as a pig, and culminating in disturbing direct quotes of Trump being flashed across the screen. As recorded, the song itself is nearly 12 minutes long, and the onslaught against Trump in the live performance lasted longer than that. The crowd went wild, especially when a giant pig balloon was unleased with a skull morphing into Trump’s face imposed with the words “Racist Sexist Pig” among others on one side, and “together we stand divided we fall” on the other.
The excited reaction of the crowd was understandable not just because of Trump’s recently-surfaced embarrassing Access Hollywood audio/videotape, because that the show was in deep-blue California, but also because the show was on the night of the second presidential debate. The debate where Trump gleefully promised that one of his first acts as President would be to en-sure Hillary Clinton was incarcerated. No due process, no deference to the numerous Republican-controlled investigations into her alleged wrongdoings which led the FBI Director (also a Republican) to publicly acknowledge that no reasonable prosecutor would prosecute the case against her. Trump’s attitude — “to the guillotine,” to the cheers of his supporters in attendance at the debate, was pretty scary stuff and the Oldchella crowd was anxious to vociferously express its displeasure.
But then, shortly thereafter, Roger Waters blasted Israel and the reaction wasn’t quite so, shall we say, positive. Waters has a bit of a history in this regard, and to most, it isn’t pretty. He’s an avid supporter of the BDS movement (Boycott, Divest and Sanctions), a pro-Palestinean anti-Israel hate group that urges artists and business people to cease doing business with Israel. He refers to Israel as “occupying” the West Bank, and has tried to personally shame performers into participating in his cultural boycott of the nation. Ironically, The Jerusalem Post recently noted that many of the Oldchella performers, including The Rolling Stones, Bob Dylan, Paul McCartney and Neil Young “have all been victimized by and explicitly rejected BDS pressure, including personal appeals from Waters himself.” Some bands claim they even received death threats after refusing to bow to the BDS’ demands. I’m sure it made for some interesting moments backstage at the festival.
In the same October 19 article, The Jerusalem Post described BDS like this: “Though it often presents itself as a movement working to achieve Palestinian rights, to the founders and leaders of the BDS movement it is merely a tool to end the existence of the State of Israel. This violent aim is sometimes reflected in the tactics of boycott supporters.” It’s pretty safe to say that this narrative is likely shared by most, if not all, western nations.
But to simply shun Waters and leave his show in exodus for expressing these unpal-atable views misses the point. Waters is, in my opinion, woefully ignorant when it comes to the Israeli/Palestinian conflict. While it may be tempting to characterize it as a classic case of David vs. Goliath, the analogy does not work unless you are prepared to accept Goliath as the huge, friendly neighbor who just wants to get along and David, despite his miniscule size, is rather intent on ensuring Goliath suffers a painful and untimely death. Waters’ speech was offensive to the point where many in the crowd simply could not stand by and take it anymore. When he was finished, I turned to my husband and said “I wish he hadn’t said that.” But we didn’t leave.
We didn’t leave because we understood from the show that Waters is not just a pacifist, he is also an activist. He does fantastic work with wounded veterans, including American veterans. His father was a soldier killed in World War II, and he performs benefit concerts to raise money for veterans’ causes. In 2012, he reported to the Boston Herald that he shares “enormous empathy with the men [veterans]” and added, “I’ve been around the sense of loss and what loss from war can do to people.” It must make sense to him that the loss and suffering of the Palestinian people equates to the loss from war, all wars.
Had we walked out after Waters’ BDS proclamation, after recognizing his courage in relentlessly calling out Donald Trump or being a “charade” and a “pig,” our hypocrisy would have been on full display. Just because one is a fan of his music doesn’t mean that we care what Waters thinks about anything. Nonetheless, it’s difficult not to admire the fearlessness he displays when expressing his own opinions and his charitable tendency to put his money where his mouth is. Mark Zuckerberg recently faced a similar quandary when questions arose regarding Facebook board member Peter Thiel’s support of Donald Trump. In an internal memo, Zuckerberg pointed out that while he/the company “care[s] deeply about diversity” … “[t]hat’s easy to say when it means standing up for ideas you agree with. It’s a lot harder when it means standing up for the rights of people with different viewpoints to say what they care about. That’s even more important.”
Although I have been on this planet for many years, an important lesson reemerged that October night, one that Mark Zuckerberg knows and I thought I knew, but I guess I really didn’t appreciate. If you admire someone’s talent and views when they agree with you, you really can’t ostracize or hate them when they don’t. Each view is potentially worthy of merit and consideration, no matter how unpalatable it is.
Amy Springer is a senior litigator with Springer and Steinberg, P.C. specializing in complex divorce litigation.
by Mark Smiley | Oct 21, 2016 | Feature Story Bottom Left
Enjoy Warmth, Good Cheer By Shopping In Spots That Make Everything Nice About The Holidays
Neighborhoods in the Cherry Creek Valley are awesome shopping destinations featuring charming main streets, independent boutique and retail destinations. As we head into the holiday season, area neighborhoods are buzzing with excitement. To help you enjoy shopping, we’re excited to introduce you to some of the extraordinary retailers on streets and neighborhoods in the Valley. Without further ado, here are our gift guide picks to make shopping delightful.
Best Of Broadway
Like its eateries and entertainment spots, businesses on Broadway are pretty cool. Along this roadway that has long been a major transportation corridor, retailers are finding bright and witty ways to bring a unique flavor to shopping. Among buildings and shops being renovated you’ll discover great gifting ideas.
Paradise Baggage: Located on the south end of Broadway (4442 S. Broadway), this store has more than 35 years experience matching travel goods to the needs of shoppers. Join them on Nov. 5 for A Night Of Wishes to raise money for Make-A-Wish Colorado, 6-9 p.m. There’s a silent auction plus in-store specials with 100 percent of the money raised from a silent auction and 15 percent of sales donated. Information: 303-320-4646.
Brushstrokes Studio-Gallery: Located at 1487 S. Broadway it 
is the artistic home of painters John K. Harrell, Kit Hevron Mahoney, Anita Mosher and Kelly Berger. From representational to abstract, the artists’ work covers a gamut of styles and subject matter. Select from original fine art and giclee reproductions. Watching the process unfold is a treat for holiday shoppers at this warm, welcoming studio-gallery. Information: 303-871-0800.
Ebanista: Shop a superlative collection of furnishings and objects de’art at this store in the Denver Design District (595 S. Broadway, unit 101N). See Ebanista’s interpretation of European classic furniture and custom upholstery, textiles, rugs, pillows and mirrors, There are also oil paintings, rock crystal chandeliers, lamps, silver, bron
zes and ceramics, all characterized by a distinctive quality. Information: 303-282-1690.
The Wizard’s Chest: This family-owned Castle at 451 Broadway is filled with holiday magic for all ages. Wind-up toys rattle across tabletops, a young engineer buys her first solar robot kit, and a group of friends conquer an army of orcs in the corner. There are magic tricks, books, jigsaw puzzles, puppets, stuffed animals and science toys. The Gathering and Pokemon have become a ritual in the store’s open-play area. Information: 303-321-4304.
Paulino Gardens: Make this garden-greenhouse center at 6300 N. Broadway your holiday shopping and decorating hot spot. They sell live Christmas trees in several sizes and heights. You’ll also find poinsettias, evergreen boughs, wreaths and garlands. Also select from indoor-outdoor plants, pots, tools, fire pits and books. Gift certificates are available and never expire. Information: 303-429-8062.
Cool Colorado Blvd.
For shoppers and commuters this thoroughfare is simply “The Boulevard.” Officially it’s State Highway 2, but as it enters the metro area it becomes Colorado Blvd. From the 9th and Colorado project on the north through Glendale to Hampden Ave. this north-south strip is in the crosshairs of developers with an appetite for new
retail space.
Adams & Jane: Whether updating your home for the holidays or looking for home furnishing gifts this store is the place to stop. Offering home furnishing plus design services, the shop is in the Century 21 Plaza at 1350 S. Colorado Blvd. (soon relocating to Shops at 9th Avenue, 899 Broadway). Principal Amy Adams understands the relationship between interior design and the customer’s lifestyle. Information: 720-550-8230.
Colorado Gold Mart: Looking for holiday cash? Glendale’s only full service jeweler and watchmaker, located at 1124 S. Colorado Blvd., will loan you money on gold jewelry, diamonds, Rolexes and vintage watches. Information: 303-692-0553.
Dardano’s Shoes: For 70-plus years and four generations Dardano’s has specialized in comfort footwear, accessories and shoe repair. For yourself or as gifts you’ll find more than 60 brands of footwear and accessories to choose from in this expanded retail space at 1550 S. Colorado Blvd. Information: 303-692-9355.
Right Time Watch Center: You better watch out if you’re planning to give a timepiece for the holidays. Time is ticking away but we’re telling you where to find hundreds of brands of new and used timepieces. This watch shop at 1585 S. Colorado Blvd. has been in business since 1979 and is devoted to all phases of time products. Information: 303-691-2521.
Glinting South Gaylord
One of the oldest shopping districts in Denver, you’ll encounter shops converted from late 19th century houses. The district’s quaint shops offer unique gifts, fine art, fashion and more. The block is located between Mississippi and Tennessee Avenues.
Arts At Denver: This Old South Gaylord gallery exhibits oil paintings by more than 30 Colorado artists in a welcoming environment. Shop their annual November-December holiday shows. Information: 303-722-0422.
Hanna By Design: Choose from contemporary jewelry and art in this distinctive Old South Gaylord setting. Located at 1061 S. Gaylord St., this gallery of jewelry and art is two blocks west of University between Tennessee and Mississippi Avenues. Information: 720-502-5459.
The Tended Thicket: If you’re looking for beautiful gifts and gardening item
s this store at 1034 South Gaylord is a must. They have so many items that you really have to take your time strolling through this quaint gift shop. Information: 303-722-6815.
Mile High Holiday Mart: Choose from unique and exclusive items at this Nov. 11-13 shopping event at the Gates Field House located at the intersection of Asbury Ave. and South Gaylord St. Their award-winning cookbooks are also wonderful holiday gifts. Information: 303-692-0270.
Cheery Cherry Creek
To be sure Cherry Creek isn’t the walkable neighborhood it once was and treasured retailers have abandoned the district because of rising rents and construction. Nevertheless, there’s still an exceptional mix of classic and contemporary shopping spots worth the hassle.
Steve Rosdal Jewelers: Rosdal has been a Denver jeweler for more than 40 years, and has an intimate knowledge of diamonds, fine jewelry, and watches. Located at 231 Milwaukee St., his SHR Jewelry Associates cater to individuals looking to buy or sell jewelry. Select from the highest quality certified, conflict-free loose diamonds and estate jewelry. They also have the expertise and experience needed to locate stones that meet the most exact requirements. Information: 720-379-6505.
Show Of Hands: This unique gift shop at 210 Clayton St. showcases handmade crafts, jewelry, wall art and furniture. Choose from a fun selection of items beautifully handmade for gift giving, collecting and decorating. Information: 303-399-0201.
Paradise Pen & Montblanc Boutique: This new store in the Cherry Creek Shopping Center is known for its high-end pens. Located on the upper level near the mall’s expanded wing, shoppers can also find a line of luxury watches and jewelry. Information: 303-329-3200.
Adornments: A boutique women’s shop offers an artistic style of clothing and accessories. Nowadays a district rarity, this shop has been in Cherry Creek for 24 years. Located on 2826 E. 3rd Ave. between Fillmore and Detroit, owner Helen Wicker and her staff can help shoppers tap into the holiday spirit with selections and gifts to adore. Information: 303-321-7992.
Dan Sharp Luxury Outerwear: Shop this salon at 218 Steele St. and be dazzled by fur, cashmere and other luxury winter wear in an atelier that also deals in vintage jewelry. Select from European coats and wraps made of shearling, cashmere, leather and fur. There are also pieces made from classic, as well as non-traditional fabrics and treatments. Information: 303-333-6666.
Mad Peaches Med Spa: Looking for perfect holiday gift(s)? Gift certificates to Mad Peaches (75 S. Madison) impress both women and men. Moreover they can be used toward services, products and boutique items. The receiver gets to decide! You can pick them up or call and they will send them to recipients. Information: 303-474-4436.
Glowing Glendale
A shopping and sporting Mecca, Glendale is a 384-acre enclave surrounded by Denver. Despite its seemingly small stature, this village has a big personality, and has built itself to reflect that while remaining grounded. Known as Rugby Town USA and home of Infinity Park, the ambitious G180 development is anticipated to make Glendale the Valley’s premier retail, entertainment and dining icon.
The Bookies: A bookstore like no other, this community focused, independent store at 4315 E. Mississippi Ave. is a holiday shopping bonanza. Home to over 100,000 titles, you’ll find something for everyone. Pick from children’s books, craft and science kits, board games and a carefully curated adult section. Information: 303-759-1117.
Device Pitstop: Just opened in Glendale’s Skyline Plaza, this store buys, sells, trades, repairs and upgrades computers and mobile electronic devices. The store at 760 S. Colorado Blvd. B1 allows you to buy gently used, refurbished or repaired devices as gifts. Select from computers, smartphones, iPods, laptops and tablets. Information: 720-398-9045.
Central City Opera: Give family and friends gifts to next summer’s Central City Opera (July 8-Aug. 6). Gift cards can be purchased for any amount. The Opera’s Box Office is located in Glendale’s Wells Fargo Bldg., 400 S. Colorado Blvd., Suite 525. The elite music festival is less than an hour away and the company offers opera favorites, American works, plus new and rarely performed pieces. Information: 303-292-6700.
Cost Plus World Market: Looking for gifts that are diverse and distinctive? This retail store at 770 S. Colorado Blvd. has an eclectic array of imports. Choose from unique gifts, furniture, home decor, imported rugs and curtains. There’s also specialty foods and wine. Information: 303-758-0530.
by Mark Smiley | Oct 3, 2016 | Feature Story Bottom Left
by Congresswoman Diana DeGette
Congress has returned to Washington, having failed throughout the spring and summer to take meaningful action on some of the nation’s most pressing problems. Thanks to Republican legislators’ intransigence, we are now confronted by an issue that grew substantially worse while we were away: the spread of the Zika virus on American soil.
Fortunately, Colorado faces little threat of an outbreak, as researchers at Colorado State University recently proved. The mosquito that spreads the disease doesn’t thrive in our climate. There could be isolated cases involving travel to Zika-affected areas or intimate contact with people who have traveled there, but no mass spread is expected.
However, in meetings and at events throughout August, constituents raised justifiable concerns with me about Zika. They’re rightly concerned that the country is grappling with an ailment that only recently emerged on the world’s consciousness and is directly affecting Americans now.
Throughout the year, I’ve vocally supported President Obama’s request for nearly $2 billion for Zika research, prevention and treatment. Democrats throughout Congress have done the same. But the majority refused to fully fund that effort. In fact, in late summer as Congress prepared to reconvene, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) said current Zika funding would run out when the fiscal year ended on September 30.
Nevertheless, there was delay in DC at this critical point in our fight against this persistent and pernicious disease, and the funding effort fell short.
Clinical trials on a possible vaccine, which have just gotten under way on a limited scale through the National Institutes for Health, can’t be carried out with no funding. In fact, NIH says it’s irresponsible to start any larger trials unless we can see them through.
There are infants in Zika-affected areas who show no signs of the virus now, but may do so as they develop. Longitudinal studies tracking their progress will be impossible without sufficient support.
And even though infection rates will drop with the arrival of cooler temperatures, they won’t go to zero. The Aedes Aegypti mosquito that carries the illness has been shown to effectively survive the winter and come back in the next year.
Earlier this summer, President Obama addressed the nation about the Zika threat once it began to spread in parts of the continental United States. He reassured us that public health experts don’t expect to see the kind of widespread outbreaks that had occurred in Brazil, Puerto Rico and elsewhere. However, he noted that “we cannot be complacent because we do expect to see more Zika cases.”
Congress must provide sufficient Zika funding immediately to state and local authorities along with federal agencies such as the CDC so they can do what’s necessary to combat Zika. And the funds shouldn’t come from other important health efforts, such as developing a vaccine for Ebola, nor be weighed down by provisions that are likely to cause needless controversy.
With the right support, we can speed the development of a vaccine, allow more people to get tested and get a prompt result, and ensure that states and communities have the resources they need to fight the mosquito that carries the virus.
Congress shouldn’t drag its feet, borrow funds from elsewhere, or do anything less than fully support this effort. We must ensure that we have the resources we need to take every step necessary to protect the American people from the Zika virus.
Diana DeGette represents the people of Colorado’s First District in the United States Congress.
by Mark Smiley | Aug 29, 2016 | Feature Story Bottom Left
As I get older more mature I am finding different things becoming important to me when dating than I did say 10 years ago. Let me explain… When I was a young, optimistic, single guy I wanted the moon, the stars and the sun when I was prospecting single ladies. Everything was based on wants. I want a woman who is smoking hot with a great body. I want a gal who is sharp as a tack and can handle herself in social situations. I want a lady who has no kids and has never been married. I want to find a chick that is happy and healthy within her. I want a babe who is baggage free and only has eyes for me. Heck I even wanted a girl that had stacks of cash. I think you get the point. I wanted the world in a woman and when it became apparent to me that she deviated away from my grand vision I would label her as “not right for me” and move on to the next.
Then I lived some life. It’s not that my standards have dropped, they have just changed. Sure the qualities I was looking for as a young dater would be nice to find today in one perfect woman who is crazy about me, but like I said, I now have some life experience behind me and that is just not reasonable. Back then the importance was WANT and now the emphasis is on what I DON’T WANT. Sometimes in life making sure that you understand what is toxic for your constitution is much more important than searching for someone who fits a certain idea in your mind.
Now when I date I put my shallow “wants” on the back burner and focus on the “don’t wants.” Here’s an example. I don’t want someone who constantly has a problem and if she doesn’t have one she is sure to manifest one. I don’t want a woman who is an attention whore more concerned with making sure every man finds her attractive instead of feeling good just knowing that I think she’s beautiful. I don’t want a gal who is always broke financially and can’t take care of herself. I don’t want a chick that has issues with being content with who she is. I don’t want a chick who thinks getting the perfect selfie is more important that striving to be the best self she can be. I could go on, and I will… I don’t want a babe, just kidding, I am done. You get what I am laying out here.
Again, I love all of the “wants” that I listed earlier and I am very open to having all of those qualities in a woman but those wants don’t cloud my brain anymore making it possible for the “don’t wants” to sneak into my life. I wish you would try this. Some people call it settling but I call it growing up and being aware. Being aware that how you are perceived by the Jones’ is less important than finding what makes you happy, healthy and prosperous.
What sounds better to you? A woman who turns every head in the room and is a flight risk, or a lady who turns your head because you know she’s loving and loyal? I’m not going to lie, and guys you know this, men want to have the most attractive chick in the room. We are just wired that way. There is nothing wrong with that but more times than not that visually pleasing, delicious looking, jaw dropping chick has more issues than Time magazine. Problems you don’t need.
Instead of judging a book by the cover and being the pot that calls the kettle black, try reading the books that will inspire you and you just might find that black kettle is just like you. Imperfectly, perfect.
See you next month!
Your pal, Sheik.
by Mark Smiley | Jul 22, 2016 | Feature Story Bottom Left
“For the record I don’t date any women under the age of 18,” I said that jokingly after she dropped the “you sound like a pedophile” comment on me after I said, “I feel like I raised three or four women in their late 20s and early 30s when I was in a relationship with them.”
If you have no idea what I’m talking about right now you should catch up by reading Part 1 of “I Keep Getting Older and the Girls Keep Getting Younger,” which can be found on the GCCC website, www. glendalecherrycreek.com. For those of you caught up let me continue with Part 2.
So there we are, the tension in my condo was so thick you could have cut it with a knife. Truthfully I didn’t know what to do. Should I calmly explain why I said, “I feel like I raised three or four women in their late 20s and early 30s when I was in a relationship with them?” Should I try to lighten up the conversation and make a last- ditch effort to try and salvage what was left of an already horrible date? Or should I just simply boot her rude loose-lipped mouth out of my home?
Before I tell you what option I chose I want to cover a couple of things. First, I was talking to a friend about this date days later and told him how she called me a pedophile after I explained why I generally date women younger than myself. My friend’s response to the interaction that my date and I had was something like this. “Even if she truly felt that way regarding your preference in the age of the women you date why wouldn’t she just say, this date isn’t working for me and excuse herself, rather than resort to name calling?” I mean after all, she and I don’t know each other well enough to vomit out rude, name-calling comments.
I happen to agree with my friend. If you are at the point on a first date to where you feel you need to be verbally abusive to the other person you should probably just move on and save your bad mouthing breath for someone who has to put up with your rudeness.
Now let me explain why I said, “I feel like I raised three or four women in their late 20s and early 30s when I was in a relationship with them.” Side note: I would have been happy to offer her the following explanation on our date if she hadn’t insulted my with the pedophile comment which ended up being a conversation killer. We can debate this all day long if you want but I believe nature has shown a pattern where men enjoy the company of younger women and women enjoy the company of men older than themselves. If you don’t know this dynamic, ask somebody.
With that said there are some obvious generational gaps and life experiences that the younger woman has not gone through yet. In my experience when I have been in relationships with women younger than myself I can’t help but offer my thoughts and advice when I see her going through something I have already experienced. This is a tricky one because I firmly believe people need to make their own mistakes in life but it’s hard to stand by tight lipped and idle when the decisions they make can affect your life because your lives are attached by being in a relationship.
Personally I can’t stop myself when it comes to trying to help someone avoid disaster if I can help it. Unfortunately by doing so the relationship dynamic turns into more of a parenting feel. Which brings us full circle back to the comment I made, “I feel like I raised three or four women in their late 20s and early 30s when I was in a relationship with them.” I may be crazy but I think that statement is a completely reasonable summary of my experiences looking back at a few of the relationships I’ve been in with women younger than I.
Now let me tell you about the end of the date from hell. I felt trapped in my condo and I wanted her to leave but being the gentleman that I am I continued to try and make the best of it. The problem is she didn’t want the same. I had the feeling from her continued name calling and belligerent attitude that she was enjoying the opportunity to have me cornered and seemingly hammer me with the frustration with what I can only guess are her issues with men. Luckily I have to wake up early to do morning radio so I tried to wind this nightmare down and used the excuse of needing to go to bed in order to pull the plug on this miserable evening.
What did I learn from this date? Well let me tell you…
- No first dates at your home!
- Keep the conversation light. No past relationship talk, don’t talk about religion or politics and most importantly never, never ever ever ever, never ever call a stranger names. If you start to feel you want to, be the bigger person and excuse yourself.
- Finally, keep it classy. Not every date is going to be a home run. But how you conduct yourself will follow you from date to date. If one date sours you, don’t bring it to your next date. Stay even.
That’s it for this month. I hope my telling this date story will spark a real conversation in your life with someone. If you have a comment about any of this month’s article I encourage you to send them to the Chronicle. Who knows, they may publish it. Until next month, date with class.
Your pal, Sheik
by Mark Smiley | Jun 24, 2016 | Feature Story Bottom Left
First let me start out by saying I NEVER write my column about a specific person or situation. Until now, well kind of. I am going to tell you a story about a date but I’m not going to use any names. I feel a lot of people will relate to this story, so I feel it’s important to talk about.
Background about my dating preferences is important here before I get to this particular date story. Just like the title says, “I Keep Getting Older and the Girls Keep Getting Younger,” seems to be a theme in my life. Let me explain….
I want to keep it real here and trust me I understand this is a touchy subject, for whatever reason. As a dating adult I prefer women from the ages of 28 to 34. I find the women in that age range have a lot of the qualities I am looking for. I am speaking from my experience and in generalities here so allow me to speak from my point of view. Coming from a guy who has no children and who has never been married I take both of those things very seriously and I believe they should be shared with someone I am in love with. With that said, I have always wanted to share getting married and having children with a lady who could experience those first-time events with me. I find my chance of finding that situation is more likely with a woman in that age group.
Now, when I was 30, dating a 28-34 year old woman was no big deal, but now that I am 43 some eyebrows get raised. People Women love to judge. I have no problem dating women my age but finding a lady who is 43 who doesn’t have an ex-husband or children is like finding a needle in a haystack. Luckily for me most women like dating guys older than themselves, and here’s a newsflash, guys don’t mind. Now let me get to my date story…
So the opportunity presented itself for me to go on date with a woman my age, well she’s one year older than I. She is a lady I found very attractive and she has no children, she does have an ex-husband but I figured hey, go for it, it’s just a date.
Now when I decide to ask a woman out I take it seriously and I try to find out her likes and dislikes as far as what she is comfortable doing on a first date and her preferences on food and beverages. I think it’s a polite thing for a man to do. So I did. We both decided since we had been talking and texting for a while that it might be nice to spend some time talking and getting to know each other while I cooked us dinner at my condo in Cherry Creek.
Most of you who have read my column for any length of time would know I am adamantly against doing such a thing on a first date in case the chemistry isn’t there and you need to graciously call it good and escape exit. I felt I was safe with this situation, but man was I wrong.
Let me set the mood. I have a large bar/ counter connecting my kitchen to my living room. I am in the kitchen cooking and making drinks while she is on the other side of the counter sitting on a bar stool in the living room. So far so good right?
Here’s where it gets good. Of course, the conversation of dating and relationships comes up and I am put on the spot. She asks, “Have you ever been married?” I quickly reply “no, but I was in an eight-year relationship in my 20s that kinda felt like I was.” That then leads into her failed marriage and how it took (still is taking) her time to fully get over it. I was thinking to myself, oh lord, here we go, I am on a date with a woman who is emotionally unavailable.
Regardless, the conversation progressed. Now I feel like I am being interrogated interviewed by this woman who is trying to figure out why I am still single and why I’ve never been married. Keep in mind this would not be my first choice in conversation but she wanted to get “to know each other” and I guess this is her idea of how to do so.
The next question was along the lines of, “what type of women do you generally date?” Me being who I am and liking to keep it real and be transparent, I told her that I tend to date women younger than myself for the reasons aforementioned. Then I said, “I feel like I raised three or four women in their late 20s and early 30s when I was in relationships with them.”
You would think I just kicked her in the stomach by the look on her face. Rather than asking me, why is that? Or, please explain… She busts out this beauty of a response. “You sound like a pedophile!” You could have knocked me over with a feather. I was shocked; those are some pretty serious words to throw around. If I would have been in a public place I would have asked for the check and gotten up and excused myself.
Unfortunately, I can only use so many words in each column, so I am going to have to continue this beauty next month in Part 2. There I will explain why I said, “I feel like raised three or four women in their late 20s and early 30s when I was in relationships with them.” I will also tell you how this date ended. It might not be how you expect. Until next time, happy dating and be safe out there.
Your pal, Sheik
