by Mark Smiley | Aug 29, 2016 | Feature Story Bottom Left
As I get older more mature I am finding different things becoming important to me when dating than I did say 10 years ago. Let me explain… When I was a young, optimistic, single guy I wanted the moon, the stars and the sun when I was prospecting single ladies. Everything was based on wants. I want a woman who is smoking hot with a great body. I want a gal who is sharp as a tack and can handle herself in social situations. I want a lady who has no kids and has never been married. I want to find a chick that is happy and healthy within her. I want a babe who is baggage free and only has eyes for me. Heck I even wanted a girl that had stacks of cash. I think you get the point. I wanted the world in a woman and when it became apparent to me that she deviated away from my grand vision I would label her as “not right for me” and move on to the next.
Then I lived some life. It’s not that my standards have dropped, they have just changed. Sure the qualities I was looking for as a young dater would be nice to find today in one perfect woman who is crazy about me, but like I said, I now have some life experience behind me and that is just not reasonable. Back then the importance was WANT and now the emphasis is on what I DON’T WANT. Sometimes in life making sure that you understand what is toxic for your constitution is much more important than searching for someone who fits a certain idea in your mind.
Now when I date I put my shallow “wants” on the back burner and focus on the “don’t wants.” Here’s an example. I don’t want someone who constantly has a problem and if she doesn’t have one she is sure to manifest one. I don’t want a woman who is an attention whore more concerned with making sure every man finds her attractive instead of feeling good just knowing that I think she’s beautiful. I don’t want a gal who is always broke financially and can’t take care of herself. I don’t want a chick that has issues with being content with who she is. I don’t want a chick who thinks getting the perfect selfie is more important that striving to be the best self she can be. I could go on, and I will… I don’t want a babe, just kidding, I am done. You get what I am laying out here.
Again, I love all of the “wants” that I listed earlier and I am very open to having all of those qualities in a woman but those wants don’t cloud my brain anymore making it possible for the “don’t wants” to sneak into my life. I wish you would try this. Some people call it settling but I call it growing up and being aware. Being aware that how you are perceived by the Jones’ is less important than finding what makes you happy, healthy and prosperous.
What sounds better to you? A woman who turns every head in the room and is a flight risk, or a lady who turns your head because you know she’s loving and loyal? I’m not going to lie, and guys you know this, men want to have the most attractive chick in the room. We are just wired that way. There is nothing wrong with that but more times than not that visually pleasing, delicious looking, jaw dropping chick has more issues than Time magazine. Problems you don’t need.
Instead of judging a book by the cover and being the pot that calls the kettle black, try reading the books that will inspire you and you just might find that black kettle is just like you. Imperfectly, perfect.
See you next month!
Your pal, Sheik.
by Mark Smiley | Jul 22, 2016 | Feature Story Bottom Left
“For the record I don’t date any women under the age of 18,” I said that jokingly after she dropped the “you sound like a pedophile” comment on me after I said, “I feel like I raised three or four women in their late 20s and early 30s when I was in a relationship with them.”
If you have no idea what I’m talking about right now you should catch up by reading Part 1 of “I Keep Getting Older and the Girls Keep Getting Younger,” which can be found on the GCCC website, www. glendalecherrycreek.com. For those of you caught up let me continue with Part 2.
So there we are, the tension in my condo was so thick you could have cut it with a knife. Truthfully I didn’t know what to do. Should I calmly explain why I said, “I feel like I raised three or four women in their late 20s and early 30s when I was in a relationship with them?” Should I try to lighten up the conversation and make a last- ditch effort to try and salvage what was left of an already horrible date? Or should I just simply boot her rude loose-lipped mouth out of my home?
Before I tell you what option I chose I want to cover a couple of things. First, I was talking to a friend about this date days later and told him how she called me a pedophile after I explained why I generally date women younger than myself. My friend’s response to the interaction that my date and I had was something like this. “Even if she truly felt that way regarding your preference in the age of the women you date why wouldn’t she just say, this date isn’t working for me and excuse herself, rather than resort to name calling?” I mean after all, she and I don’t know each other well enough to vomit out rude, name-calling comments.
I happen to agree with my friend. If you are at the point on a first date to where you feel you need to be verbally abusive to the other person you should probably just move on and save your bad mouthing breath for someone who has to put up with your rudeness.
Now let me explain why I said, “I feel like I raised three or four women in their late 20s and early 30s when I was in a relationship with them.” Side note: I would have been happy to offer her the following explanation on our date if she hadn’t insulted my with the pedophile comment which ended up being a conversation killer. We can debate this all day long if you want but I believe nature has shown a pattern where men enjoy the company of younger women and women enjoy the company of men older than themselves. If you don’t know this dynamic, ask somebody.
With that said there are some obvious generational gaps and life experiences that the younger woman has not gone through yet. In my experience when I have been in relationships with women younger than myself I can’t help but offer my thoughts and advice when I see her going through something I have already experienced. This is a tricky one because I firmly believe people need to make their own mistakes in life but it’s hard to stand by tight lipped and idle when the decisions they make can affect your life because your lives are attached by being in a relationship.
Personally I can’t stop myself when it comes to trying to help someone avoid disaster if I can help it. Unfortunately by doing so the relationship dynamic turns into more of a parenting feel. Which brings us full circle back to the comment I made, “I feel like I raised three or four women in their late 20s and early 30s when I was in a relationship with them.” I may be crazy but I think that statement is a completely reasonable summary of my experiences looking back at a few of the relationships I’ve been in with women younger than I.
Now let me tell you about the end of the date from hell. I felt trapped in my condo and I wanted her to leave but being the gentleman that I am I continued to try and make the best of it. The problem is she didn’t want the same. I had the feeling from her continued name calling and belligerent attitude that she was enjoying the opportunity to have me cornered and seemingly hammer me with the frustration with what I can only guess are her issues with men. Luckily I have to wake up early to do morning radio so I tried to wind this nightmare down and used the excuse of needing to go to bed in order to pull the plug on this miserable evening.
What did I learn from this date? Well let me tell you…
- No first dates at your home!
- Keep the conversation light. No past relationship talk, don’t talk about religion or politics and most importantly never, never ever ever ever, never ever call a stranger names. If you start to feel you want to, be the bigger person and excuse yourself.
- Finally, keep it classy. Not every date is going to be a home run. But how you conduct yourself will follow you from date to date. If one date sours you, don’t bring it to your next date. Stay even.
That’s it for this month. I hope my telling this date story will spark a real conversation in your life with someone. If you have a comment about any of this month’s article I encourage you to send them to the Chronicle. Who knows, they may publish it. Until next month, date with class.
Your pal, Sheik
by Mark Smiley | Jun 24, 2016 | Feature Story Bottom Left
First let me start out by saying I NEVER write my column about a specific person or situation. Until now, well kind of. I am going to tell you a story about a date but I’m not going to use any names. I feel a lot of people will relate to this story, so I feel it’s important to talk about.
Background about my dating preferences is important here before I get to this particular date story. Just like the title says, “I Keep Getting Older and the Girls Keep Getting Younger,” seems to be a theme in my life. Let me explain….
I want to keep it real here and trust me I understand this is a touchy subject, for whatever reason. As a dating adult I prefer women from the ages of 28 to 34. I find the women in that age range have a lot of the qualities I am looking for. I am speaking from my experience and in generalities here so allow me to speak from my point of view. Coming from a guy who has no children and who has never been married I take both of those things very seriously and I believe they should be shared with someone I am in love with. With that said, I have always wanted to share getting married and having children with a lady who could experience those first-time events with me. I find my chance of finding that situation is more likely with a woman in that age group.
Now, when I was 30, dating a 28-34 year old woman was no big deal, but now that I am 43 some eyebrows get raised. People Women love to judge. I have no problem dating women my age but finding a lady who is 43 who doesn’t have an ex-husband or children is like finding a needle in a haystack. Luckily for me most women like dating guys older than themselves, and here’s a newsflash, guys don’t mind. Now let me get to my date story…
So the opportunity presented itself for me to go on date with a woman my age, well she’s one year older than I. She is a lady I found very attractive and she has no children, she does have an ex-husband but I figured hey, go for it, it’s just a date.
Now when I decide to ask a woman out I take it seriously and I try to find out her likes and dislikes as far as what she is comfortable doing on a first date and her preferences on food and beverages. I think it’s a polite thing for a man to do. So I did. We both decided since we had been talking and texting for a while that it might be nice to spend some time talking and getting to know each other while I cooked us dinner at my condo in Cherry Creek.
Most of you who have read my column for any length of time would know I am adamantly against doing such a thing on a first date in case the chemistry isn’t there and you need to graciously call it good and escape exit. I felt I was safe with this situation, but man was I wrong.
Let me set the mood. I have a large bar/ counter connecting my kitchen to my living room. I am in the kitchen cooking and making drinks while she is on the other side of the counter sitting on a bar stool in the living room. So far so good right?
Here’s where it gets good. Of course, the conversation of dating and relationships comes up and I am put on the spot. She asks, “Have you ever been married?” I quickly reply “no, but I was in an eight-year relationship in my 20s that kinda felt like I was.” That then leads into her failed marriage and how it took (still is taking) her time to fully get over it. I was thinking to myself, oh lord, here we go, I am on a date with a woman who is emotionally unavailable.
Regardless, the conversation progressed. Now I feel like I am being interrogated interviewed by this woman who is trying to figure out why I am still single and why I’ve never been married. Keep in mind this would not be my first choice in conversation but she wanted to get “to know each other” and I guess this is her idea of how to do so.
The next question was along the lines of, “what type of women do you generally date?” Me being who I am and liking to keep it real and be transparent, I told her that I tend to date women younger than myself for the reasons aforementioned. Then I said, “I feel like I raised three or four women in their late 20s and early 30s when I was in relationships with them.”
You would think I just kicked her in the stomach by the look on her face. Rather than asking me, why is that? Or, please explain… She busts out this beauty of a response. “You sound like a pedophile!” You could have knocked me over with a feather. I was shocked; those are some pretty serious words to throw around. If I would have been in a public place I would have asked for the check and gotten up and excused myself.
Unfortunately, I can only use so many words in each column, so I am going to have to continue this beauty next month in Part 2. There I will explain why I said, “I feel like raised three or four women in their late 20s and early 30s when I was in relationships with them.” I will also tell you how this date ended. It might not be how you expect. Until next time, happy dating and be safe out there.
Your pal, Sheik
by Mark Smiley | May 27, 2016 | Feature Story Bottom Left
Guest Editorial
Truth, Lies And Coverups
by Nasrin Kholghy
There’s been a lot of talk about our family in the Chronicle and on radio recently — most of it false and ignoring the facts. So here’s the truth.
Glendale is our home. Twenty-seven years ago, we moved our business from the old Cherry Creek Mall to Colorado Boulevard. Our kids played basketball on Birch Street. We enjoy Glendale’s spectacular annual fireworks from the rooftop of our rug store. You’ve driven by our rug store’s distinctive blue awnings many times.
Since our kids had their first birthday parties at Celebrity Fun Center, we’ve been deeply invested in Glendale and its surroundings. Over the decades, we have become good friends with many people in the community; our clients know us on a first-name basis. They’re part of our family. It was no surprise that so many people came to our support when we were threatened with eminent domain abuse and possible condemnation last year. For that, we wholeheartedly thank the people of Glendale and Denver, and everyone that stood up to defend our rights as landowners guaranteed under the Constitution.
We opened our rug store out of necessity then expanded it by choice. Although my husband and I hold UCD electrical engineering degrees, the political environment in 1979 made it impossible to find jobs. Authentic Persian & Oriental Rugs was born out of our need to sell the only thing our father could send from Iran and support family still attending the University of Colorado,
This is a true family business. We all work six or seven days a week. Even friends pitch in. My brother travels abroad frequently to find the best quality rugs and latest designs. My sister and I make certain that every rug sold is the perfect fit for each home — even if we have to drive hundreds of miles to do so.
We would never propose a project that would be an eyesore or detrimental to our community in any way because we live and work here.
In 2007, we first drafted plans for a mixed-use development on our land. That proposal includ-ed cascading terraces overlooking the creek, retail, restaurants and eleven high-end residential units. We understood the plans complied with all Glendale zoning laws, yet we received discouraging feedback. At that time, the Master Plan (page 35) said of our property: “This is the preeminent development site in the City. It contains 6.5 acres. It has frontage along Colorado Boulevard and the Cherry Creek channel and possesses spectacular mountain views. The concept of mixed use along with community amenities can be captured on this site. Ground floor uses would include eating, entertainment and specialty retail. Upper floor use could include office or residential.”
The zoning laws were changed five months later to further restrict residential use. Glendale has steadfastly opposed a residential component despite the fact that it is proven to work.
Homes are essential to building true communities. They help make places safer; people are more concerned about the neighborhood’s appearance and actually take pride in where they live. Residential properties would have the least impact on traffic — we know how bad the traffic can get around Colorado Blvd. and Alameda — easing congestion in general. That was the finding of a 2010 City-financed traffic study and why, in part, we want residential as part of our plan.
Glendale 180 envisions a downtown full of bars with 24-hour alcohol co
nsumption and huge profits. The City also investigated adding gambling to their plans. We suspect they don’t want our rug store here because our kind of business isn’t as profitable. They only desired our land.
City officials now say they don’t need our land. Yet they say we’re holding up Glendale 180 when, in truth, they’re holding up progress! Furthermore, it’s not just our family that’s at odds with the City, although we’re slammed in the media most. Glendale has similar issues with the Staybridge Hotel, the property adjoining ours.
These are just examples of the allegations and defamatory remarks tossed around in this publication, but to their credit, they finally invited us to tell our side. We welcome this opportunity.
We also invite anyone to visit our store and talk about these issues. You’ll be warmly welcomed regardless of your views. We have many docum
ents available that support the facts and we’re open seven days a week to discuss the truth. We want everyone to read and verify the facts themselves.
In March, Glendale’s Chamber of Commerce voted to “repudiate and denounce” us claiming we recruited hate groups to support our plan. That is false. We’ve never hired any groups to support us. We don’t employ private investigators. We’ve never proposed an ugly skyscraper as the Chronicle claims. The mayor and his wife (primary owner of Shotgun Willie’s and The Smoking Gun) along with the Chronicle’s publisher, and its executive editor sit on the Chamber board. At least three of them voted for this resolution that wasn’t based on facts.
Don’t you wonder why the Chronicle and the City are so passionate and persistent in slamming us each month? We suggest following the money. Glendale’s Downtown Development Authority plans to raise $200M in bonds and scrape a popular public park so a private developer can build more bars. Who will pay this $200,000,000 back? How long must we pay? Who reaps the benefits?
by Mark Smiley | Apr 25, 2016 | Feature Story Bottom Left
by Greg Hollenback
Thanks goes out to the GCCC for allowing me to use my column this month to talk about a cause that is very important to me. Wasted food has become rampant, even in the communities we live in. Here’s a factoid, more than one-third of the food produced for consumption in the U.S. won’t be eaten. Considering the food thrown out by supermarkets, restaurants, schools, hospitals, at home and elsewhere, the food waste toll comes to 40 percent of the food supply. In fact, 18 percent of landfill and that is staggering.
The good news is that people are becoming more aware of this situation and are doing something about it. Through my radio shows the Modern Eater and the Modern Drinker that air live every Saturday at 6 p.m. on 630 KHOW I had the privilege to meet Arlan Preblud who heads up the local non-profit We Don’t Waste.
We Don’t Waste currently serves more than 120 of Denver’s community-based, non-profit agencies. The food sourced by We Don’t Waste augments the food programs of the non-profits it serves, allowing these organizations to reduce their food budgets while still serving wholesome, nutritional meals. Since inception, We Don’t Waste has distributed over 14 million servings of food to Denver’s underserved populations.
After interviewing Arlan on my show I knew I wanted to do my part to help create awareness for the ridiculous amount of food we waste. It breaks my heart to think that there are many hard working families right here in our community who may not be starving, but they just don’t know where their next meal is coming from, and that’s unacceptable in this day and age.
Here’s where creating awareness for this wasted food epidemic becomes fun. I dreamed up this idea of gathering up some of Denver’s top chefs who will take wasted food that was destined for a landfill and recovering it through We Don’t Waste and turning it into gourmet dishes for you to enjoy! I’ve turned this innovative idea into an event called Dumpster Dinner.
Check this out! On May 21 at the Studios at Overland Crossing Dumpster Dinner and Dumpster Dance will go off, and you can attend. You’re not going to believe this lineup. From 5-7 p.m. the VIP portion of the evening will include a very intimate Get Spoiled experience with participating local chefs representing their restaurants (listed below). Only 100 VIP tickets will be sold. With your VIP ticket you will enjoy offerings from these amazing chefs that will be paired with the finest local Colorado craft beer, spirits and wine (listed below). Your VIP ticket includes the admission into the Dumpster Dance that follows the dinner.
From 6:30-10 p.m. Dumpster Dance will step off (only 400 tickets are available if you just want to attend the dance). The dance part of the evening is awesome if I must say so myself. You will be treated to comfortable lounge seating, complemented with a shabby chic décor along with a lineup of the best entertainment that Denver has to offer. Enjoy the soulful dulcet tones of the national performer Rob Drabkin who is headlining the Dumpster Dance! The breakout Denver band AMZY will kick things off and they will be sure to get you up and dancing. Don’t worry about being hungry or thirsty, continue to enjoy the best Colorado craft beer, spirits and wine along with a buffet of delicious food prepared by the chefs, then grab some fresh local meat off the smokers and grills. The entertainment doesn’t stop while you soak in the visual stimulation of aerial bartenders, contortionist, fire performances and more! Don’t miss out on this amazing event benefiting a much needed organization in “We Don’t Waste!” For more information and tickets you can go to dumpsterdin ner.com. If you’re just interested in going to the dance go to dumpsterdance.com. Don’t miss out, I’ll see you there!
Your pal, Sheik!
Here is a list of the amazing Denver restaurants and chefs and the Colorado craft beer, wine and spirit purveyors.
Restaurants And Chefs
- Chef Daniel Asher – Root Down + Linger
- Chef Jesper Jonsson – Auguste Escoffier
- Chef Nikki Olst – Epicurean Group
- Chef Kevin Savoy – Carbon Beverage Cafe & Habit Doughnuts
- Chef Preston Phillips – Grind Kitchen
- Chef Taylor Creedon – Tap 14
- Chef John Depierrio – Mijo
- Chef David Lewis – Brown Palace
Libations
- Laws Whiskey House
- Declaration Brewing
- Ratio Brewing
- Wibby’s Brewing
- Bear Creek Distillery
- Infinite Monkey Theorem wine
- Water’s Edge Winery
(Only for the VIP dinner)
Meat Purveyors
- Tender Belly
- Prosper Farms beef
by Mark Smiley | Mar 25, 2016 | Feature Story Bottom Left
I get a lot of mail asking me to do a follow up article on Internet dating, specifically Match.com. A few years back I wrote “The Dos and Don’ts of Dating on Match .com,” right here in my column in the GCCC that got a lot of attention. That article is so popular, when you Google the title it pops up on the first page of the search results. Check it out if you have the time.
A lot has changed (format wise) on good old Match.com since I was a member years ago, except surprisingly a lot of the faces remain the same. I’m not entirely sure if that’s because match.com doesn’t delete expired membership profiles or if there are slew of lifetime daters on there. I’d guess it’s a mixture of both. Regardless there is a plethora of singles ready to mingle — maybe too many. I say too many because I can see how the abundant amount of daters on Match.com could be overwhelming and consuming for those who are looking for an immediate connection.
Ladies, I have no idea how to navigate match.com as a woman so I guess this article is for the guys. Although I know my female readers are nosey as hell, a curious bunch who will want to read this anyway. Guys, the following are just a few thoughts that I have on what I’ve found to be effective while I’m clicking through the vast sea of love starved Internet daters. Remember the same dating rules apply on the Internet as they do in real life. If you think you’re going to attract a different “type” of woman just because you’re on the Internet, you’re not. Water finds its own level, and so do men and women.
- Don’t expect a message back from every woman you contact. In fact if they’re not interested in you they will just plain ignore you. Match.com has this nifty little feature that allows you to know if a lady has read the message you sent them. DO NOT email a woman more than twice if she has read your correspondence and never replied. She’s not interested in you! Move on to greener pastures where you’re not spinning your wheels.
- Ride the cocky/confident line the best you can. The simple sweet, I’m a nice guy approach goes nowhere. I can imagine there are a lot of guys on Match who are just trying to find the flavor of the day so it’s very important to try and ride the middle, or “cockident.”
- Don’t put too much time in reading profiles. Here’s why, you look at a woman profile and you’re getting into it. You’re looking at all of her pictures, you’re reading everything she wrote about herself word for word, you’re really putting some effort into getting to know her first so you can contact her with something witty pertaining to her. Sweet! You found a gal you’re into because of her profile, you’re even imagining a couple of dates with her in your head, and you’re into her, email her! She doesn’t even respond. Instead look at basic things in her profile like pics, age, education, whatever is important to you on a basic level then shoot a quick email to her. If she responds then read her profile more in depth. There are too many women on Match to invest your time until she expresses interest in you.
- So what do you say to a woman in opening? I have found it effective to comment on one of her profile pictures. Don’t comment on her necessarily, comment on something she’s doing or something else that’s interesting in the picture. Don’t you dare hint sexual innuendo right out of the gate. That’s sure disaster. Comment on her dog, where the picture was taken, you get the idea.
- Always end your correspondence with a question. It is easy to lose someone even if you’ve been talking to her back and forth a few times. Remember women get slammed with tons of guys trying to get at them. Their email is abundant. You need to make sure she feels a need to immediately react to your email when she reads it. That’s why having a question in your email is important. She is more likely to follow up with an answer to your question rather than come up with a retort to a statement you make to her. Here’s an example: “I had the best dinner last night at the most amazing restaurant in Denver. They had the best food, amazing drinks and they gave you a foot rub while you ate.” She might read that and want to respond but in her mind there in no urgency… She can read more email and circle back later, she might wait to come up with something witty and respond later, she might have even decided she was done talking to you. But you’ll never know because you didn’t ask her a question. Now she is talking to 10 other guys and forgot all about you just because you didn’t end your email with, “have you ever gotten a foot rub at a restaurant?”
I could go on forever here but my words are limited to under a thousand. I’d be happy to take any specific questions or feedback if you want to email me at sheikofcherrycreek@gmail.com. Enjoy the beginning of spring and get ready for a killer event I’m throwing on May 21. Stand by for more info!
Your pal, Sheik!
