The broadcasting topography across the Mile High City is as varied and diverse as the populace of the city itself. Listeners interested in local happenings, extreme opinions, artistic outlooks, nerd-tastic observations and business savvy can tune in and sink their teeth into just about any narrative that resonates with their worldview.
If you were to amass the vast amount of topical content originating from the greater Denver area into one giant mountain of sound, slice it in half and observe it like a geological map, you would see the musings of artists, sports fans, lowbrow freaks, highbrow sophisticates, political pundits, and many more swirling about one another like independent swarms of busy bees. Podcasting is alive and thriving in Denver and if you’re not tuning in, you’re missing out.
Brotherly Love
Brothers Joseph and Jonathan Garcia debate the superiority of Marvel and DC Comics, respectively.
Jonathan and Joseph Garcia love comic books. As twin brothers, their natural proclivity to tangle manifested in spirited debates about which brand of heroes and villains was best. Thus, was the genesis of Dynamic Duel — a podcast determined to either settle or perpetuate an ages-old Marvel vs DC debate. “Since we were young children, we’ve had an interest in the colorful, fictional worlds of Marvel and DC,” Joe explains, “and would regularly discuss which was better even as we grew up. We decided to record those conversations in 2016, leading up to the Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice release, when we figured the Marvel and DC rivalry would further permeate the public’s perception.”
The Garcia brothers orchestrate each episode with precision and well-researched insight. Unlike some podcasts that are sent over the wire warts and all, Marvelous Joe and Johnny DC — their “super” podcaster names — edit for consistent pacing and flow in order to maximize listener experience. Content themes oscillate between comic book movie reviews and character match-ups such as Green Lantern vs Iceman, Plastic Man vs Mr. Fantastic and Batgirl vs Hawkeye. Whether you’re a fellow comic book nerd or a newbie, this podcast is a wealth of insight into the two most popular publishers of modern mythology.
While the past year has been a major bummer for some, this is not the case with the Garcias. Joe explains, “A common gripe from our friends and family over the past year [is] that they’ve been bored and experiencing cabin fever. That’s not been the case with us. In addition to never missing an episode drop date, we spent a lot of time this past year honing our craft and were lucky enough to win three Colorado Podcast Awards in 2020.”
From The Ground Up
Chuck Bonniwell and Julie Hayden are interested in revealing the truth about important issues.
Chuck Bonniwell and Julie Hayden are perhaps the hardest working team in Denver podcasting, producing three shows every week on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays at 3 p.m. MST. Like many of their contemporaries, they began in a basement with very little technical know-how but with one distinctive difference: they had a pre-existing listenership. After their show on KNUS was canceled, they were compelled to switch to the podcast format in order to stay in touch with their hard-won audience.
The show takes definitive stances on hot-button issues, and in a hypersensitive environment, they are feeling the effects — both positive and otherwise. When asked about the show’s stance on state-sponsored censorship, Hayden explains, “I would not describe our show as a ‘stance against the idea of government control.’ Rather, I would say we have a populist, grassroots take on things, whether it be Denver, Colorado, or national issues. And we are definitely being censored by YouTube, Twitter and Facebook. We have lost roughly a third of our Twitter followers since the election. YouTube deleted one of our shows over election content and Facebook regularly “throttles” the number of people who see our posts. We have created new accounts on Gab .com and Rumble.com.”
Undaunted, the duo forges forth in relentless pursuit of the examination, exploration, and dissection of the issues they are passionate about. They roll with the unfolding of current events, reacting in “real time” as much as possible. “We focus on current events, especially Denver and Colorado issues,” Hayden says. “We book guests a few days ahead of time but there is so much going on these days we do not plan more than a week ahead.”
When asked about the show’s format and content curation strategy, Hayden explains, “We want to provide an informative and entertaining show focusing on current events where everyone feels heard and welcome. We have leftist/Democrat guests and callers [and] we have more populist callers and guests who hold a wide variety of opinions that we often disagree with. We describe it as everyone sitting around the ‘kitchen table’ talking about the day’s events. Our hope is not to change anyone’s mind but to get people thinking and talking and hopefully [being] glad that they spent an hour with us.”
The Chuck and Julie Show shoots from the hip — so to speak — as each episode streams live across numerous channels. “Our show is somewhat unique in that we do video and audio. The show is live streamed on YouTube, Facebook, all of the major podcast apps like iTunes, iHeart, Google, etc. We also post the show on Podbean and Rumble… so there is no editing and anytime we have a scramble, (which happens all the time) [and] everyone sees and hears that.” Listeners who love this sort of authenticity can also anticipate high profile guests from time to time such as Fox’s Judge Jeanine Pirro, national columnists and authors like David Horowitz, John O’Connor, Jennifer Kerns, Rep. Ken Buck, and Democratic strategist Ted Trimpa.”
The Business Wizard
Dave Tabor of the PROCO360 Podcast is a business expert who has found his second calling. Photo credit: Chris Clark
Dave Tabor does his homework. As a former business owner, company executive, holder of an MBA from CU, and senior executive for the Colorado Chamber of Commerce, he approaches each episode of the ProCo360 podcast like a high-level business presentation. He explains, “My approach is this: explore what makes me deeply curious about a leader and her/his company and dig into that. It takes research and preparation, and it takes some deep thought. I don’t quit my prep work until I feel excited for the interview. The most gratifying moment is when a guest pauses and says, ‘hmmm, that’s a great question.’”
After selling his company — Tabor Interactive — to a NASDAQ company, the former CEO was restless, and discovered that he missed the entrepreneurial world. Luckily, his business expertise was in high demand, and he was invited to be an intermittent guest host on a morning talk radio show. This developed into a steady hosting gig at a weekly morning show. Tabor felt his audience was better suited for evenings and he switched to the podcast format.
Thus far, he has delivered invaluable insight into the world of commerce through interviews with more than 100 Colorado business leaders including John Hayes (Ball), Jake Jabs (American Furniture Warehouse), Andre Durand (Ping Identity), Antoinette Gawin (Terumo BCT), Nancy Fitzgerald (iLending Direct), Tory Bruno (United Launch Alliance), Adam Contos (RE/MAX), and Troy Guard (TAG Restaurant Group).
To The Letter
The Narrators co-host Ron Doyle and actor/ teacher Adrian Holguin at The Narrators, August 2020 at EXDO Events Center.
Producer Ron Doyle is no stranger to the show running world, with over 10 years of experience under his belt across numerous formats. His current endeavor, The Narrators, is a hybrid balance of live production and curated podcast content. The live shows are taped every third Wednesday, and the stories that are shared by guests of those events are edited into podcast content. “During normal times,” Doyle explains, “the show happens at Buntport Theater. Right now, we’re doing virtual shows and will likely shift to outdoor shows at EXDO Events Center when the weather warms up.”
The Narrators strives to explore a breadth of themes, brought to the storytelling stage through the expertise of Denverites from all walks of life. After 10 years of shows, they have explored just about every topic imaginable. Doyle elaborates, “We invite comedians, actors, musicians, artists, and other interesting folks from around Denver to share true stories, and occasionally folks reach out to us when they have a story that matches the theme. We don’t screen or edit our storytellers, so we’re just as surprised as the audience by the stories they share.”
Adapting to restrictions Covid-19 placed on The Narrators live shows has been a challenge, but Doyle remains upbeat, “Our podcast actually took a hiatus for part of the year, because we were busy shifting the live show to virtual and outdoor venues (we just relaunched at the beginning of 2021), but we still had folks tell us how much they appreciated our back catalog of 200+ episodes. It’s soothing to hear the live audiences in those recordings, clapping and laughing. After a year of social distancing, it feels nice to hear how the world worked before the pandemic — and hopefully makes folks feel optimistic about the future.”
Making A Ruckus
The MF Podcast examines society’s underbelly through the lenses of musicians and artists.
True to their DIY musical roots, Aaron Howell and MF Ruckus bandmate Tony Lee started the MF Podcast in a spare bedroom on secondhand gear with a healthy sense of humor. “We’ve always enjoyed talking and cracking wise, so it seemed like something we could pull off pretty easily,” Howell explains. The longtime friends navigated the steep technical learning curve and steadily progressed from putting together episodes with whatever gear was at hand to working with a remote producer to moving operations into the Burn TV studios where Howell worked as a voice actor for Nug Nation. As the show grew, it was soon apparent that a local producer was in order and Denver music maven Gordon Leadfoot of the band Granny Tweed came aboard. Soon after, Lee, a Chicago native, was called back home which left Howell to lean on Leadfoot and MF Ruckus bass virtuoso Logan for support.
The podcast content is an expansion on the fascinating, wide-ranging and tragically fleeting conversations that take place in and around the world of live music — usually backstage or somewhere on the venue floor between acts. The format aims to magnify the dynamic of interesting people from all walks of life who meet, explain their unique insights, and laugh about shared experiences. “I’m sort of a hobbyist when it comes to heterodoxy, so I really like talking about the big issues happening in the world.” Howell explains “I like to talk philosophy, politics, life experiences, explore and learn. Mostly, we tell stories, crack jokes and let our guests lead the way. I sincerely believe we’ve never had a bad episode. The conversations are always good, wherever they may roam.”
Viewers who tune in to a live episode will be treated to the raw content as it unfolds between hosts and guests. Leadfoot, who has become an influential host/voice of the show in addition to producing, cleans up the audio, adds music and bumper for the audio feeds. Howell beams about the wide array of guests he has had the pleasure of interviewing over the show’s 121 episodes. Among these are Blaine Cartwright of Nashville Pussy, Ben Hutcherson of Khemmis, Apartheid activist-turned aeronautical engineer Eric Stranger, musician and record label head Reed Wolf, and comic book writer/professor/Ted Talker R. Alan Brooks, to name a few.
Those Who Can
The Grawlix continually prove that just about anything is possible with enough laughter at hand.
The trilateral axis of thinking people’s comedy known as The Grawlix is on a mission to save the world. Comedians Adam Cayton-Holland, Andrew Overdahl, and Ben Roy have been in each other’s orbit for the better part of 16 years. As individuals they have been forging their own standup careers which converge from time to time as The Grawlix — a name borrowed from the term used for typographical symbols used in place of obscenities. The group is best known for their outstanding television show Those Who Can’t which is available for streaming on HBO Max.
“We wanted to start a podcast,” Cayton-Holland begins, “because when our TV show ended after three seasons, we all kind of regrouped and thought, ‘Well we really like working with one another. Let’s do another project together.’” Cayton-Holland continues, “Unlike the pressure cooker of television, a podcast seemed like just a really easy, DIY format where there are no gatekeepers or anything, you just start one and off you go! We liked the freedom of that. We kicked around a few ideas for the format and then Ben (Roy) had the idea of doing a show where we try to improve ourselves and that just was the perfect spark. We reached out to our friend Ron Doyle (of The Narrators) who’s a wizard at this kind of stuff and he agreed to produce the podcast and off we went!”
The show’s format, while set with the clear directive of exploring self-care and personal improvement, allows an underlying comedic current to carry the momentum. Topics such as meditation and yoga are counterbalanced by slapstic spatula-slapping for overuse of the word “like” and self-inflicted, torturous binge-watching assignments of The Fast and the Furious movie series.
This healthy balance of self-care and silliness seemed to almost intuitively anticipate 2020 and the challenges it would bring. “The pandemic hit and the world as we knew it changed and everything was really frightening and anxiety-inducing and here we had this great format that we were already doing where we try to take care of ourselves, to try to counter the poison that we see in the world.” Cayton-Holland says. “The podcast is funny, first and foremost, but we always wanted the podcast to be positive and uplifting as well. So, really, it’s been something that I’ve come to look forward to over the lockdown. I get to check in with my friends every week and laugh a lot, and then put into practice a new way of looking at the world for a week. It’s been really good for my spirit, and our listeners tell us it has for theirs too.”
“The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone.”
Rose Fitzgerald Kennedy
by Luke Schmaltz
On February 17, 2020, Jason Stoval — aka Sid Pink — landed in Paris for a close friend’s 40th birthday celebration. Stoval is an acclaimed Denver-based producer, director, filmmaker, musician, writer, actor and MC. The occasion was to span across numerous days, as a small, tight-knit group planned to meet for dinner, then depart the next morning for some high-end winter recreation at the Swiss border. The trip was beyond the scope of Sid’s finances but, ever the innovative shoestring artist, he found a way to make it work. His role was to be that of a babysitter for a friend in the group’s four-year-old daughter in exchange for travel and accommodations. He would forgo the alpine antics and instead, take care of the youngster all day while the grown-ups whooped it up on the slopes for a week. Fair trade.
A Mysterious Detour
A bit of light reading helps Mr. Pink regain his vocabulary.
On his first evening in the City of Light, however, things went dark. Sid was the senior member of the group and was determined to not begin his adventure with a hangover. So, he left dinner early and headed back toward his hotel to get a good night’s sleep. GPS records of his cell phone movements, however, show a detour to a local lounge and then a second subsequent location. He eventually got into an Uber around 3 a.m. (not called from his phone) and was dropped off in an abandoned parking lot. The driver, who was not “on the clock,” was quoted by authorities as saying, “There was too much blood.” Somewhere between leaving the restaurant around 11 p.m. and getting into the Uber, he had sustained a severely traumatic, blunt-force injury to the left side of his head. Robbery was ruled out due to the fact that he still had his wallet, bank card, phone, etc. Being an American tourist, however, chances of authorities launching an investigation were slim. Speculation points to vindictive locals looking to maul an unsuspecting tourist, but the truth may never be known.
Around 6 a.m., Sid was discovered in said parking lot, picked up by an ambulance and rushed to the Sainte-Anne Hospital. There, doctors performed emergency surgery to remove numerous skull fragments which were embedded in his brain. After surgery, Sid was induced into a coma in order to minimize the swelling in his skull. By now, word of the incident had reached back home to Sid’s family and friends in Colorado.
Staples removed and exodus back to America mere hours before Covid-19 travel ban.
It Takes A Village
Swift action was taken to start a GoFundMe campaign in order to handle what would no doubt be a lengthy and awfully expensive undertaking to pay for his medical expenses in France, and somehow get him back home. Funds were quickly raised, as Sid has many dozens of friends and colleagues across the Mile High City and beyond. Soon, his father Toby was en route to Paris to be at his son’s side. Sid explains his father’s predicament:
“… as a Wyoming native, staying in a big town [and no French spoken], he had it as bad as I did.”
As is common with most traumatic brain injuries (TBIs), Sid has no recollection of the event or anything else that took place several days prior. He remembers nothing of his flight overseas, his arrival in Paris or the evening of the TBI. In fact, his first tangible memory, as fuzzy as it is surreal, occurs more than two weeks afterward, as doctors elected to slowly bring him out of the coma.
Strange New Reality
Paris: City of Dark for Sid Pink.
Sid remembers getting up from the hospital bed, going to the bathroom and looking in the mirror. He was met by a vaguely familiar figure who was somehow a lot thinner and, ahem, missing part of his head.
Sid recalls: “‘Man’ I thought to myself, ‘last night musta been a wild one.’ Clearly, I didn’t really ‘get’ much at that moment. But immediately after, I also noticed that I was thin [I’d lost 32 pounds during the coma]. I twisted to the side and said, ‘Damn — you look good.’ So, hey — an upside. During my last week in the hospital after waking up, I slowly realized that the crazy hole [in my head] and losing 30+ pounds probably didn’t happen in one day.” This upbeat, glass-half-full attitude would be the defining theme for Sid’s ongoing recovery and the return to his life in Colorado — nearly 5,000 miles away.
As his memory and speaking ability became more apparent, so too did the sharpening curve of the Coronavirus. Soon, it was clear that a travel ban was imminent, and with just days before it went into place on March 16, Sid and Toby made their exodus to America by the slimmest of margins. Once again, Sid’s optimism shines a light on the bright side: “It [the timing] was actually really ‘lucky’ — if it [the TBI] happened even a few days later, I would have been in lockdown in Paris for months, probably.”
A Sharp Learning Curve
Sid would soon discover that the left hemisphere of the brain is where the centers for speech and communication are located. From the get-go, he found he was unable to speak, with the exception of the words “yes” and “no.” This condition is common with TBIs, and is known as Aphasia, described by clinicians as when a person knows what they want to say, but is unable to find the words.
Sid’s path back to relative normalcy was through a comprehensive regimen of memory and speech therapy, hand/eye coordination therapy and visual attention training. These are comprehensive disciplines designed to spark neuroplasticity so that the brain can re-train itself.
First, there is the auditory recall of words. For example, a series of unrelated words are spoken aloud by the therapist, followed by five minutes of unrelated conversation, then Sid is prompted to recall those initial three words. Next, there are timed exercises involving a series of 30 or so images containing shapes. “If there’s a triangle, that’s your ‘hand,’ a circle is your ‘foot,’” Sid explains. “Each image shows one or both in it, and if it is on the left or right of a line. The exercise is to see how fast you can look at these symbols and move your hand, foot, or both while determining if they are to the right or to the left of a center line.” Another aspect of Sid’s therapy involves visual stimuli which requires the eyes to react quickly in order to recognize certain properties that are associated with movement such as walking, flying or motorized travel.
Sid continues: “The biggest thing [challenge] is with speech and memory. I need to work on remembering words, including names of actors, or bands, or movie names. If I see a picture of them, or hear someone else say the name, I know all those things in my brain. The tricky part for me is to say: ‘list all the words that start with R in 60-seconds’ or ‘name all the actors you can think of in 60-seconds.’ Oftentimes, that minute might only yield five to 10 words that I can think of. But again, if you showed me a list of 500 words that start with ‘R,’ I know all of them.” Sid continues his daily speech and memory exercises and meets with a therapist twice a week. Although there is no guarantee he will fully recover, he is determined to try.
Keep Looking Up
Moving forward, Sid’s gradual return to cognition and communicative proficiency can be attributed to a phenomenon called neuroplasticity. Unlike other organs, the brain has the unique ability to change its function and structure based on input and stimulus. Even though part of his brain tissue was lost, speech therapy has caused the remaining synapses and neurons to “rewire” their c
An extended stay in a private room is not all it’s cracked up to be.
onnectivity and help Sid regain some of his former ebullience. Once again, his optimism kicks in: “Whatever happened to me, it sucked, for sure — but I am incredibly lucky in so many ways. I have both of my eyes, nostrils [though I lost my ability to smell] and all my teeth. I can walk, use my arms, hands, back — all the big ones. My brain is screwed up, but many people [TBI victims] can’t speak, can’t understand, can’t remember — anything. They can’t write or read. Some people’s injury isn’t just aphasia, it’s amnesia, or damage that erases their knowledge, their ideas, their ability to walk or cook meals or dress themselves.”
Sid’s prognosis is speculative, and he knows he will never again be fully normal. Regardless, he is determined to forge forth into his art at whatever capacity possible. Currently, he is riding high on the recent release of a video for the song “So This is Romance” by his band Psychology Bag, www.psychologybag.com. The piece is one of many results of an ongoing project with Sid’s music partner and artistic wunderkind Kyle Jones. In it, Sid’s injuries are slowly, methodically revealed and, alas, the viewer is given several full glimpses of an artist singing (to the best of his current ability) with a somewhat-healed, extremely dramatic head injury.
The video is a deeply moving, profoundly courageous piece of performance art — and a testament to Sid’s unrelenting pursuit of artistic honesty. Indeed, the video and Sid’s overarching positive attitude are welcome victories in a year of unprecedented loss and tragedy. In closing, Mr. Sid Pink attests: “And on the ‘lucky spin’ … if I got picked up in an ambulance, given a brain/skull surgery, and stayed at the hospital for a month with a billion medications, and coma sleep and all that here in the USA … [it] would seriously have cost between one and two million dollars. It would have ruined me, my family, and friends. For whatever it was, the fact that it happened in a place with socialized medicine was lucky as hell.”
“Against the assault of laughter, nothing can stand.” – Mark Twain
by Luke Schmaltz
Perhaps the lowest blow Covid-19 has thrust into the guts of live entertainment is the crippling assault on the art form that thrives within kissing distance of society’s face.
Live comedy shows are casualties of circumstance, as there is too great a price to pay when large crowds of people gather in compact spaces and let loose with the explicit purpose of opening up and laughing out loud.
Comedy Works (Landmark location) is a Denver institution and a live comedy mecca; currently shuttered by Covid-19.
The essence of effective live comedy is the proximity of the artist to the audience. It’s an intimate affair, wherein spectators willingly subject themselves to carefully crafted webs of cunning that twist their wits into coils of suspense and then snap the tension with an unexpected conclusion. The result: uncontrollable laughter.
Social distancing and the complete shutdown of indoor venues has put a detrimental damper on this dynamic, placing comedy venues, promoters, managers, booking agents and the essential engine upon which the industry runs — the comedians — in peril. Currently, the world that hawks hilarity is stagnating, yet the resilient nature of the art form pushes on like a river smothered by a landslide — looking for other ways to reach its destination. And, while some do not deem laughter as an “essential” industry, those who create it think otherwise, and are reacting to 2020 in various ways.
An Unfortunate Setup
Comedy Works is widely regarded as one of the finest institutions in the live comedy business, but their business is currently paralyzed. Longtime owner/operator Wende Curtis explains: “Our downtown club closed on March 15 and has never been able to re-open. We were unable to get 50% or even 100 people in to maintain the social distancing requirements. Our south location reopened in late July but was closed again with the recent mandates.”
With no options for operating in an outdoor space, they are looking to the powers that be for assistance. “We are hoping government officials see the impact on live entertainment venues, restaurants and all businesses impacted and will appropriately accommodate us in the stimulus package,” Curtis explains.
Curtis, a universally respected comedy promoting legend, is critical of the government’s role thus far: “These venues and businesses should not have to bear the burden of this pandemic. The government should have stepped up and helped these businesses sooner. The Paycheck Protection Program (PPP) was meant to suffice for eight weeks. It’s been nine months. Without small businesses, we [live comedy] will be a couple of ugly big box companies. A truly sad state.”
Promise Of The Real
Despite the detriments of 2020, comic Christie Buchele is still hopeful — hanging onto the idea that venues, and more importantly comedy fans, will hang on too. The relative newcomer to the jokester trade has quickly blazed a trail to the forefront of the new faces set, earning a reputation for being hardworking and fiercely funny. Staying busy during 2020 hasn’t been easy, she describes performing live after the shutdown: “My first show was a zoom show for a producer in Austin, the first week of April. I didn’t do a live show until Mid-May. We did the show in the parking lot of a brewery with tables spread out and comics all wearing masks when they were off stage. The crowd size was maybe a little smaller than average but it’s hard to tell with everyone spread out.”
Denver comic Christie Buchele is doing everything she can to keep her chops up during indoor venue shutdown.
The experience of performing under these conditions makes Buchele pine for the good old days of clubs full of patrons packed in sardine-tight. “Before COVID-19 an outdoor show felt like a real pain in the ass. Keeping attention was tough, keeping up your energy and dealing with any distractions was terrible. I do think that audience members are just so happy to have something to do that now when they go to an outdoor show, they are much more attentive and excited. And they realize we are rusty but just so excited to do comedy again.”
Buchele urges comedy fans to stay tuned and support independent venues by subscribing to streaming content and buying tickets for future shows. Of all these, she laments the temporary loss of Denver’s finest room the most: “Of all the venues in Denver, I miss Comedy Works Downtown. It’s the best place in the world to do comedy and I hate not being able to go down there every week and see everyone and have the best time onstage. I never thought I would go this long without stepping foot in that building. I imagine I will cry happy tears the first time I get back up there.”
The Show Must Go On
Ben Kronberg is a Denver comedy stalwart, having begun his performance tenure in the early 2000s with no end in sight. His straight-out-of-left-field-blink-and-you’ll-miss-it style is inimitable and unmistakable. Kronberg’s comedy blurs the line between traditional set-up / punchline joke telling and abstract mentalist conjecture, which seems to have seeped into his perception of linear events in general. When asked to compare his comedic experience post and prior to the shutdown, he says: “I have what you could call a memory blend with shows now. After doing comedy for over 15 years, all the shows seem to blend together and fade together. I have been running shows at The Denver Comedy Lounge for about a year so it [last indoor show] was one of those to be uncertain.”
Ben Kronberg has been performing in Denver and beyond for 15 years and is keeping things light.
Once social distancing regulations were in place, Kronberg adapted and kept forging forth. “We kept doing shows however we could, moving to the alley behind the lounge and trying to comply with all of the regulations. When you go to a strip club you want to be close to the performer, and comedy is no different so it gave a cold medicine vibe to the whole thing with the laughter vaporizing because of being outside. We could fit maybe 30-ish people in this situation. People who came out were receptive, but this muted version of a comedy show could be felt by all. But it was better than nothing.”
Kronberg sees virtual shows as a band-aid over an axe wound type of remedy but participates nonetheless — if only for something to do. “The most fun I had [virtually] was probably doing a zoom talent show. Most [attendees] were performers and a few pervy, lonely audience members. It was better than nothing but not a proper substitute for the real thing. Kind of like a homemade fleshlight.”
Troy Baxley is a Mile High comedy legend and may or may not see stage time again.
Give ’Em Hell
Of all the unsung heroes in the Denver comedy scene, Troy Baxley is at the top of the list, having begun performing in the 1980s and since played just about every comedy stage in North America. He ran one of the first open mics in Denver at the Lions Lair on East Colfax and, of late, has taken to mentoring an onslaught of young comics determined to get on the fast track to funny.
Baxley sees the current shutdown as a great equalizer, serving to weed out what he calls “water cooler comics” while testing the endurance and mettle of those who are truly in it for the long haul. “The thing is,” he begins, “most are crumbling under the weight because there’s no end in sight. If you’re a hacky comic, the allure of doing the same two-minute set falls away, and since you aren’t disciplined to be constantly developing new material your skills get rusty fast. With open mic nights gone [for now] you can’t just go tell a couple zingers one night and then go to work the next day announcing yourself as a comedian.”
Unfortunately, Baxley was recently diagnosed with onset Parkinson’s disease, perhaps hindering his ability to perform once clubs are open again. Yet, Baxley shrugs off the shutdown like he’s shutting down a heckler. “I can tell by a heckler’s tone how long they have before I get the room to turn on them. I can tell by Covid-19 that, eventually, things will bounce back and once we all work the rust off, we’ll be cracking wise better than ever.”
What Residents Can Do To Keep Their Vehicles From Being Stolen
“We live in a time when if you make it easy for someone to steal from you, someone will.” — Frank Abagnale
by Luke Schmaltz
Denver car owners’ vehicles are driving away without them at an alarming rate.
suburbs coupled with the ideals of convenience and self-reliance stamped into most American DNA means that just about everyone with a driver’s license also has access to a car. Of the many thousands of vehicles in use across the Front Range, a rising percentage will be targeted, broken into and driven away with haste.
A Banner Year
2020 has been a boon for car thieves, with numbers climbing like a curve on a Covid-19 cases chart. According to a September 21 report published by The Denver Post, 5149 vehicles have been stolen in Denver thus far — an average of around 530 per month or about 20 per day.
Disconnecting the battery after parking your car can prevent theft.
These numbers are apparently being driven up by idle hands, as some folks who are out of work turn to crime while others turn to a stationary life — leaving their vehicles parked in the same location for many days or weeks at a time. According to the Colorado Auto Theft Prevention Authority (CATPA) Metro Auto Theft Team (CMATT) these vehicles are primarily larger trucks and SUVs — specifically the Ford F-series trucks (F-150, F-250 and F-350), Chevy Silverados and GMC Sierras.
The reason these models are targeted is that they typically contain valuable tools for construction and other in-demand trades. Thieves then turn around and quick sell the tools and disassemble the car via chop shops for used parts. Or they will simply abandon the vehicle in a sparsely populated stretch of road somewhere on the outskirts of town. This dynamic explains why nearly 85% of stolen vehicles are recovered and of course, devoid of any of the owners’ personal items.
Beware Distractions
According to the National Insurance Crime Bureau (NICB), many car thefts take place during major distractions. The primary of these, obviously, is when vehicle owners are asleep in the middle of the night. Surprisingly, however, major holidays such as Halloween and New Year’s Day are also popular times. 2020 is unique in that social unrest in the form of protests and riots tend to attract large gatherings of police officers, leaving a vacuum of sorts in outlying areas. While the majority of officers in District 3 and 6 are downtown skirmishing with protesters and arresting bystanders, professional car thieves are fanning out through the neighborhoods — helping themselves while terrified residents remain glued to their television sets to watch the chaos unfurl.
2020 was a banner year for car thieves in Denver and surrounding areas.
The Basics
It goes without saying that you should lock your car and take the keys to the vehicle with you when you get out. Yet, a large percentage of cars being stolen are done so with ease because the FOB (frequency operated button) “key” was left inside the car, in plain sight, no less. Parking in a garage if you are so lucky is a great idea and if not, in a well-lit area with the windows rolled all the way up can also be a deterrent.
Ramp It Up
Theft deterrent devices like steering wheel locks, steering column collars and car alarms (with warning decals on the windows) can make an enterprising criminal decide to move along to the next car. You can also thwart criminals with a device locked onto one of the four wheels, otherwise known as a wheel lock. After all, the Mile High City is the originator of “the boot” so why not show a bit of Denver pride?
Leaving keys and FOBs in your car means you won’t have it for much longer.
Protect The Transmitter
If you drive a car that unlocks with a FOB, hacker-savvy thieves can access your car even if you take the “key” with you. They do this by “jamming” your FOB’s radio frequency remotely. You can prevent this by taking a few pointers from the tin foil hat crowd and, yes, wrapping your FOB in tin foil overnight or while you are at work. This approach also works by dropping them in a cocktail shaker and slapping the lid on tight. Or, if those methods are a bit too pedestrian you can go out and buy radio frequency identification (RFID) blocker wallets and purses. Perhaps those conspiracy theorists are not so crazy after all.
When cops gather en masse or citizens are distracted by holidays, criminals strike.
Get Technical
Gearheads are privy to a number of hands-on mechanical methods that will keep a car from starting should a thief gain access. You can disconnect one of the battery cables from one of the battery posts which will cut off all power, rendering the car immobile. A similar approach can be applied by switching one of the spark plug wires with the coil wire, which will cause the car to make lots of loud backfiring noises while never actually starting. You can also install a fuel line cutoff valve, a battery disconnect switch or a “dizzy switch” which turns off the electrical signal from the distributor to the coil.
Go Big
In addition to the models mentioned above, the NICB reports that the most frequently stolen cars also include the Nissan Altima, Toyota Camry, Honda Civic, Honda Accord, Toyota Corolla and Jeep Grand Cherokee. If you are in a position to upgrade, you can trade in your current vehicle for a vehicle that has proven to be virtually theft proof. According to a recent article by Forbes, the Subaru Outback, Legacy and Forester are safe bets along with GMC Acadia, Volkswagen Beetle, Buick Encore, Chevy Equinox, BMW 3-Series and just about anything made by Tesla.
Most Tesla models, especially this one, can’t be stolen.
Your other option for avoiding having your car stolen is to simply continue as usual without a plan and hope the bad guys don’t randomly choose you. Otherwise, you can sleep in your vehicle with a charged phone and a taser or you can give up driving, go green and get a bike. If you choose the latter, however, be sure to invest in a really, really good lock.
“Repeat after me: real estate provides the highest returns, the greatest values and the least risk.” — Armstrong Williams, entrepreneur
by Luke Schmaltz
As of February 25, 2020 — according to Forbes and WalletHub — Colorado had one of the lowest residential property tax rates in the nation — just 7.15% — third to only Hawaii and Alabama.
As of November 3, 2020 — according to some fiscal experts — that glowing statistic may gradually begin to fade.
An Uneven Keel
Consistent with the year’s underlying theme of division and disparity, the commercial tax rate sits at an inverse position at 29% — making the terrain for independent, small businesses especially rough, and increasingly so as Covid-19 looms on. Before the election and the ensuing repeal of the Gallagher Amendment, anyone keen on owning a home, as well as commercial property in Denver, was privy to staggeringly different tax bills — even if their residential property was right next door to that of their business.
In an election that was overwhelmingly characterized by close races and slim margins, Amendment B (repealing Gallagher) passed in a landslide vote of 57.4% to 42.6%. This means that the low property tax rates Colorado homeowners have enjoyed for decades will, according to opponents of the measure, begin to increase the tax burden homeowners are forced to bear — especially those in the urban middle-class sector.
Wide Appeal
For the uninformed, property taxes are collected in order to pay for local government services that benefit the immediate district. These include schools, fire departments, infrastructure, water, libraries, recreation and county road maintenance.
Tax Increase?: With Gallagher repealed, some say taxes will go up while others say they will not.
As all property owners quickly discover — residential and commercial alike — taxes are determined by complex formulas, dreaded by many and resented by all for their unrelenting consistency. In this election cycle, the convoluted nature of taxes seemed to have influenced the diverse interest in Amendment B vs. the Gallagher Amendment — perhaps the only refreshing thing about the issue in general.
Amendment B garnered a patchwork of varied bipartisan support, both for and against the measure. Proponents included former U.S. Senator Hank Brown (R), current Republican state senators Bob Rankin of Carbondale, and Don Coram of Montrose, current House Representative Daneya Esgar (D) and former Colorado Secretary of State Bernie Beusher (D). Naturally, the measure was opposed by the author of the Gallagher Amendment, former Senator and career public servant Dennis Gallagher (D) along with the right-leaning head of Colorado Rising Action, Michael Fields, as well as with former House Speaker Dickey Hullinghorst (D).
An Outdated Formula?
For nearly four decades, Colorado residential property owners have enjoyed consistent tax cuts supplied by the Gallagher Amendment which, until November 3, had rates locked in at 7.15%. The disparity here is stark, however, as commercial property owners were “stuck with the bill” as it were and foisted with tax rates consistently ringing in around 29%. Under Gallagher, residential taxes could only allot for 45% of the total tax base, with nonresidential properties such as retail businesses, factories and farmland making up the remaining 55%. As rising residential property values skyrocketed, the inherent complexity of the tax formula resulted in an unbalanced scale — with the heavy end tipping toward commercial property holders.
While this lopsided provision was great for homeowners in high-growth areas along the front range, owners in rural areas suffered — as their property values were not accruing at nearly the rate of their urban counterparts. Simply put, with Gallagher in place, the more the value of a property increased, the less percentage of tax the owner had to pay. With this protection removed by Amendment B, critics of the measure are predicting that residential property taxes will rise drastically. Meanwhile, supporters of the measure contend that removal of the Gallagher Amendment will leave current rates frozen in place — for now.
Too Much Too Soon?
The recently-televised Colorado Decides: Amendment B debate hosted by PBS 12 featured outspoken public figures weighing in on both sides. Representative Esgar (D) championed the effect a repeal would have on small businesses: “ … right now 20% of the taxpayer base (commercial property owners) are paying 55% of the tax [revenue]. These are small businesses … right now they are being hit the hardest … they want to know, right now, why they are paying four times what [the] residential property tax rate is …” Esgar explained further that leaving the Gallagher Amendment in place would result in commercial property taxes ballooning to up to five times that of the residential rates.
Meanwhile, in opposition to Amendment B, Michael Fields (Colorado Rising Action) explained that a statewide repeal is far too drastic, and rather, measures should be taken to amend the tax code in certain districts who are suffering from loss of revenue. In the aforementioned televised debate, Fields contents that: “ … a solution needs to be more regionally based or county based … I think that makes a lot more sense because there are areas of our state that are either less commercial property or their (residential) values aren’t going up as much …overall, this is a regional problem and there should be a regional solution.
Upwardly Mobile
As fate would have it, the Gallagher Amendment is no more. Without another policy in place, according to TABOR, residential property taxes will rise as the property values increase. So, as Denver renters have recently seen in vivid detail, this could mean yet another rent hike as landlords pass the overall cost of owning property onto their tenants.
The Gallagher Amendment was a major ballot issue in 1982 and again in 2020. It was designed to evenly spread the tax burden between residential and commercial properties.
While proponents of Amendment B downplay the severity of repealing the Gallagher Amendment, others like Fields are quick to point out the costly implications. An October 26, 2020, article published on coloradopolitics.com contends that a repeal leaves no protections in place for property owners. This means that — as required by TABOR — property taxes would increase to the tune of $203+ million and keep climbing — a fact that lawmakers like Daneya Esgar seem to have forgotten to disclose whilst selling this new piece of legislation to an uneducated and most likely distracted public.
Others contend that tax rates that are applied according to the rapid rise of property values, while being inconvenient for owners, can spell ample funds for public services — especially in rural and economically challenged areas. At any rate, the varied implications of how things may play out are a fitting reflection of the complex nature of property tax formulas. To find out what the repeal truly means (just like everything else this year) folks are going to have to just wait and see.
by Luke Schmaltz
