by Mark Smiley | Mar 27, 2015 | Feature Story Bottom Left
Confessions Of A Serial Dater
Sheik Of Cherry Creek Greg Hollenback
I don’t know about you but one of my biggest fears in life is being in a committed relationship with someone only to end up as a couple of strangers on the same couch, together, forever. For those of you wondering what I’m talking about let me explain… Strangers on the same couch are couples who no longer have any desire to talk with each other or share intimate thoughts with their partner. Couples never start out as strangers on the same couch but if you’re not very careful you may wind up sharing your most valuable down time in a personal prison with a mysterious cell mate. No thank you.
First I am going to share with you signs that you may be in a “strangers on the same couch” situation, or you’re heading in that direction fast.
- Most of your conversations with your partner are very short and blasé. You know, “How was your day?” “What’s for dinner?” “Is there anything good on the tube tonight?” You get the picture. Making small talk is a lot easier and safer than actually talking about something important in your life.
- You find yourself closer to a cubicle mate or a co-worker than you do your partner. The day that it dawns on you that you express yourself without hesitation with strangers or acquaintances but you bite your lip at home because you don’t want to start a fight or be judged you might just be with a stranger on the same couch.
- Let’s face it, sitting next to someone on a couch in silence for hours gives you a lot of time to think and plan. When you’re thinking of things you want to do or things you want to experience are you wanting to include that lump sitting next to you? If not, you are definitely a stranger on the same couch.
- Do you find yourself trying to avoid the metaphoric couch altogether? This is an advanced stage of the Stranger on the Same Couch Syndrome. When you’re at this stage something has to give and you’re either going to shut down everything that is you and give into the couch, or you’re going to freak out one day and jump out the window in order to escape.
- Are you constantly on your computer or laptop “working” so you have some kind of contact with people other than your couch stranger?
Some of you reading this can really identify with what I am talking about because you are living it now or you have lived like this before. Others of you may not be quite there yet but you find yourself slip sliding in that direction. The obvious solution for me would be to blow things up and push the reset button and see where the chips fall. I’m a keep it real guy at all costs because I know the price to pay is more than I’m willing to give. I have to be me, and you have to be you, anything short of that is fake and I can’t do fake. Some people can do fake though and those people scare the heck out of me. You know who I’m talking about… These people tell you what you want to hear, they give you false reality, they tell you what you “need to know” about themselves, they have more buried in them than King Tut’s tomb. They would rather lie when the truth would do.
If you’re anything like me you’re searching for true love and you want to share yourself with someone completely. In order for me to gift to someone the purest essence that makes up me and my heart I have to know that I am being afforded that same gift in return. Well, that and she has to be hot and witty. Probably too much to ask seeing as though I haven’t found all the puzzle pieces but I’ve been close a couple of times, real close.
All I can tell you speaking from a ton of dating and relationship experience is that if you don’t want to end up being a stranger on the same couch with someone is to set personal standards with whomever you’re dating when you feel you want to start taking things more serious with each other. Foresight, prevention and communication will be your strongest allies in your plight for a fun, productive, honest, enjoyable relationship. Just like I mentioned earlier, couples never start out as strangers on the same couch, it’s something that happens over time and it is up to you to make sure it doesn’t happen and you need to be aware when you see it happening and be prepared to address it.
When you are in the fun, open, no-expectations phase of your dating, point out certain situations or intimate times you are having so you have a reference point or a marker, if you will, of a time when you were able to be real and have fun together. Fight for the best in your personal life and who you choose to share it with. You deserve it!
Lastly, the Modern Dater Date Club is about to be launched! A couple of things, it looks like we have a great group of daters who contacted me but there is a problem. I never in a million years thought I would find myself saying these words but here goes… There are not enough guys! Blah, I feel weird but it’s true. Most of the people who have contacted me (like 80 percent) are women, tons of women. What’s up with that guys? Or are all of my readers ladies? Either way here’s your chance guys, email me at themoderndater@gmail.com (yes ladies, you can too) and get ready for some “Circle Cooking” with some of Denver’s finest single ladies.
Hope you’re enjoying spring, Sheik!
by Mark Smiley | Mar 27, 2015 | Feature Story Middle Left
Colorado Athletic Club Fitness Tips
by Amy Boone Thompson
BSED – Certified Health Coach, ACE
National Director of Personal Training Wellbridge
We all know we need to exercise more and eat healthier. The benefits are irreplaceable and the consequences of not doing so are irrefutable. Despite good intentions, many people simply feel overwhelmed with taking the first step. What every great Personal Trainer will tell you is that committing to a healthier lifestyle is a lot easier than you may think.
First, consider the reasons you want to make this positive change in your life. Do it for yourself, not others, and do it with a true intention of being healthier; not simply looking better but also feeling better and living longer. How will your life change once you have accomplished this goal of including daily exercise and good eating habits? How will you feel?
Consider the obstacles that could get in the way of achieving this transformation. Now begin eliminating and/or removing them in order to pave a successful path. For example, if your day gets filled with appointments and miscellaneous activities, you need to schedule your workout before your day officially starts.
When you have completed both of the above, turn your attention to small and lasting changes. One change per week is a strategy that has worked with our clients. You can build upon this success by adding on just one healthier habit per week. An example, this week try sleeping more. Get at least seven hours of uninterrupted sleep. Next week, continue the sleep habit and try drinking more water.
The reason many people fail to achieve their goals is because they try to accomplish too much at once. These are easy ways to generate positive results that you can incorporate with little discomfort and begin creating a lifelong habit. When you are ready to join an athletic club or locate a Certified Personal Trainer, look for the most reputable in your community. Until then, start simple and start small, but start something. One positive habit will lead to another and another.
by Mark Smiley | Feb 27, 2015 | Editorials
February 6, 2015
Dear Friends,
First they took our park, now they want to buy a council seat.
I joined the Friends of Denver Parks with an undying belief that no matter whom the foe that we as “citizens” — the most important title an American can hold — gives us the right to stand up against the rich and powerful. During my entire 12 years as mayor, I always looked for ways to maintain and acquire new park space. The parks we have are a contract we take out between us and the citizenry, and the legacy we leave for future generations.
I joined your effort publicly and financially because it is my belief that what happens in one part of the city will then be repeated in another part of the city. My message is a resounding: “Leave our park land alone.” Do your business deals on non-parkland. If they get away with this, the rich and powerful will try to take other parks and buy our council seats.
I believe this is already happening in Council District 4. The reason I so strongly support candidate Halisi Vinson for the Council District 4 seat is that the group who took the park are now supporting one of her opponents, a nice woman whose main interests really has been school issues.
What residents of District 4 need to be aware of is that Halisi’s opponent is taking thousands of dollars for her campaign from the people who took the park. They even rejected your signatures calling for a public vote on taking the park land, which has been officially called a park since 1955.
First they take your park, now they think they can buy your council seat.
Halisi Vinson supports District 4 residents and the city’s parks. I urge you and your friends to support Vinson because she is the candidate whose only interest is District 4.
I am engaged is this race because I don’t like any business deal that takes our parks. I will never forget in 1991 you stood up against big money to support a man in tennis shoes for your mayor.
Let’s do it again, and donate today. Remember they first took our park now they want to buy a council seat.
To learn more about Halisi and how you can help her campaign visit: http://halisivinson.com/
Or contact her at: halisi@halisivinson.com
303-550-1247 (cell)
Donate Today
Wellington E. Webb
by Mark Smiley | Feb 27, 2015 | General Featured
Patsy Brown Takes The Reins
by Charles C. Bonniwell
The 114-year-old University Club of Denver elected its first female president Patsy Brown, a broker associate with Kentwood Real Estate-Cherry Creek. Founded in 1891, the Club was based on the Athenaeum Club in London and the University Club of New York and required having a degree from a university, college or similar institution of higher learning which was not common in the 19th century. Of course, there have always been exceptions.
One of its earliest members was Henry Wolcott who helped found the Denver Club and the Denver Country Club. He was one of the most powerful businessmen and politicians in Colorado in the 1890s but never even graduated from high school. An honorary degree from a local college was arranged to meet the degree requirement.
The Club’s present home at 1673 Sherman Street is a neo-classical mansion that was built in 1895 in what was then a residential neighborhood of Capitol Hill. Major additions were added in 1923, 1957 and 1980. Today it is part of upper downtown abutting the towering Lincoln Center Office Building. The mansion has eight banquet rooms including the famous College Room ballroom designed by Temple Buell with stained glass windows containing painted glass medallions of college shields. The facilities make it a unique destination for weddings, holiday parties, dinners and other events.
The mansion also contains a fitness area, billiard tables as well as singles and doubles squash courts along with a reading library. Members also have access to over 100 reciprocal clubs both in the United States and abroad.
The University Club of Denver is probably best known for its annual Twelfth Night celebration going back over 100 years. The event is often attended by many of Colorado’s best known politicians. The musical revue lampoons the top events and individuals both locally and nationally.
Brown’s election to the Club’s presidency represents the culmination of over a
half century battle over female membership. The University Club was founded as an all male institution and seen in part like a fraternity for adult men. The concept of accepting female members was first raised in the early 1940s when World War II cut membership by two-thirds.
By the late 1980s, based on a United States Supreme Court ruling, the government of the City and County of Denver threatened to revoke city licenses, including the Club’s liquor license, unless women were admitted and the dispute made the local news. After various votes which failed to amend the bylaws to admit women, a vote of 374 to 26 was taken to approve the change in the membership requirements from “a man” to “a person” effective January 1, 1991.
The Club just established a new membership category for individuals who have been members for 50 years or more and there are 25 such individuals. Today approximately 25 percent of the members are female along with, of course, wives of male members.
One of those longtime members stated, “Having a coed club is neither better nor worse than an all male one, just different. For me some of the camaraderie and uproarious fun has been lost but there has been a great civilizing effect by mixing the sexes in membership and that makes going to the club on an everyday basis far more enjoyable.”
The new president joined the University Club in 2004. A Denver native, she went to Kent School for Girls after attending Morey Middle School and then on to the University of Colorado at Boulder. She married and moved to the small town of Eldora, Illinois, where her husband was a bank president and she taught at local public and private schools which she thoroughly enjoyed. Moving back to Colorado at the start of the century she decided to go into the real estate field.
As president of the University Club, she notes that one of her main goals is to get the word out about the Club so that it isn’t necessarily the best kept secret in Denver. She loves showing off the Club to people who may have never heard about it. When she asks members what they like best about the University Club they note it is a place for friends to meet and socialize. They tell her that it is a chance to mix and mingle with distinguished individuals from all different fields of endeavor and all different ages. She adds that the Club seems to attract by nature individuals who are witty and fun.
Individuals interested in inquiring about possible membership in the University Club can go to the Club’s website www. uclubdenver.org.
